Making Ends Meet
by Obadiah Slope
Summary: Severus Snape decides that a sickly-titled 'housemate' might be the way to keep his house clean, tidy and heated throughout the school term. What he didn't expect was to fall in love with the new arrival. SSOFC
1. The Beginning

A/N: This is my first finfic on this website, just to let you know. I am not making any money from this and (sadly) I don't own Severus Snape. I do, however, own Rosie Watermouth and anyone else that you do not recognise! Enjoy the story!

**MAKING ENDS MEET**

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

Severus sat brooding in the kitchen. Was this the right thing to do? If by chance someone _did _reply to the advertisement would they want to know once they saw who it was they had to live with? _Damn it! _Snape thought and he sealed the envelope with a wave of his wand and sent his owl Asriel flying away with the letter clamped firmly in its beak.

A few days later Rosie Watermouth was sitting outside Florean Fortescues with an ice cream in front of her, poring over her copy of the Daily Prophet. Rosie's dark brown hair was falling in her face, obscuring it from view, though if you could've seen it you would have noticed the heavy frown and look of concentration on her features.

She sighed and lent back on her chair shaking the hair from her eyes and looking around. It was hopeless, Rosie thought to herself, it was either buy a house or remain in a house that is worse than homelessness – or even more terrible than that, with your bloody parents. Rosie smiled wryly, she could just see the smug look on her mother's face when she arrived outside her door and told them that, once again, she had failed miserably. It wasn't as though she and Rosie's parents were at war it was just that they knew her too well. Rosie, through all her good points, had fairly substantial flaws – she was 32 and single, had never owned her own house or even lived in one for as long as to call it home. She was also forgetful when it came to things like – oh, I don't know – bills and such like.

"This is just to bloody hopeless!" she whispered to herself and took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in her mouth. She was just about to give up hope when she noticed an advert in the corner of the paper on the property page: 'Room for rent, enquiries to be sent to Mr. S. Snape.'

That was all Rosie needed – "YES!" she cried causing people in the vicinity to stare.

It wasn't desperation that had driven Severus to consider having a person to rent a room from his house, it was practicality. He wasn't so lonely that he would do anything for someone else to be in the house with him, it was money – so he kept telling himself.

"Well it's true!" Severus said indignantly to his conscience.

His house was not in use the whole year round – he was a teacher at a boarding school. He didn't have the time to come back and check that his two bedroomed terrace was in good shape. If he had a _housemate _– he shuddered at the term, then at least he would have some looking after the house and paying him money. It wasn't as though he had to get on with her – or him for that matter. He wasn't sociable and if his teaching record had got anything to go by, he didn't much care. They paid him the money and would leave them well alone.

_Good plan Batman, _he thought to himself derisively.

Rosie had thought very hard about how to phrase her letter _Mr. S. Snape, _she now sat in her bedsit at the small coffee table with a quill between her hands and a roll of parchment in front of her.

_Dear Mr. Snape,_

_This is a letter in answer to your recent advertisement in the Prophet. My name is Rosie Watermouth and I am 32 and at this moment have no house to call my own. I am friendly, pretty good at cleaning and house trained. My place of residence is number 18b Regency Street, Acton. _

_Yours truly,_

_Rosie Watermouth._

There, done! Fairly polite – and showing a sense of humour. Though her letter did not show desperation, which was very good, considering how desperate Rosie actually was. Rosie stared at the letter and then picked it up, sealed it magically and walked out of her house. She reached the corner shop – which of course was invisible to Muggles – and walked in. She marched up to the small wooden counter and waited for Mrs. Smith, the shopkeeper to appear.

"Hello, dear," Mrs. Smith said smiling, after clambering out from behind a pile of boxes.

"Hey there! How's you?"

"I'm fine dear, had a bit of a cold recently but I'm fine. I trust you're well?"

"Yeah, nothing wrong with me," said Rosie handing her the letter. "Could I have this posted by one of the faster owls?"

"No problem. Mr. S. Snape eh? Why you contacting him?" she asked tying the note to a smart dark brown owl.

"He had an advert in the paper – room to let, I thought I'd contact him."

"He's not that – you know," she dropped her voice, "_teacher _is he?"

Rosie laughed at Mrs. Smith's expression, anyone would have thought that she was just about to declare him a mass murderer. "Dunno, I haven't met him yet. He has a room to let; I need a new house – _anything ­_to get out of that crappy old bedsit."

"We did warn you-"

"About the house, I know – I thought it would be okay though, nobody said that it flooded every year and that there was no central heating. I don't have the money to spend to get it fit to live in," Rosie said glumly putting some silver coins onto the counter.

"The landlord should pay shouldn't he?" Mrs Smith said, frowning, picking up the coins and depositing them in the till.

"Yeah, he _should, _but the sleaze decided that he wouldn't. He said that he never claimed the house was a good one, I rented it knowing what it was like, which of course I didn't – blind deal."

Mrs. Smith sighed. "Make sure you don't do the same thing with this one. Go and look around the house before hand so you know what you're doing. Where is the house anyway?"

"In London, so it won't be too far from here. Near Hammersmith. I think it's on the outskirts – anyway, I'd better be off. I need to give notice to my landlord!"

"What if you don't get the house?" asked Mrs. Smith looking concerned.

"Trust me, the streets better than my current place!" When she continued to look stricken Rosie waved her hand and said, "I'm joking, I'll just admit failure to my parents and move back with them for a while. Not that I want to – it does nothing for my pride."

She said goodbye to Mrs. Smith and strolled out of the shop watching the door mould back into the surroundings. As she walked back to her house she saw a brown owl swooping off in the direction of Hammersmith.

The owl came swooping into Severus' house later on that day when Severus had the door open. He was throwing out old bits and pieces that he didn't need, like a large piece of linoleum and a rocking horse. He was quite sad to see the old, tattered horse go – he had had it since childhood, and although his childhood wasn't altogether happy it was one of his fonder memories. He didn't remember being given it, he suspected that it was passed down from a grandparent of some kind to his mother and that she had given it to him and his sister. Though how it had come to live in his loft he could not remember.

He walked back into the house, shut the door, and headed for the kitchen, intending to have a cup of coffee. However when he walked in he saw a barn owl on the table waiting for him.

"Hello," he said quietly. "Do you have a letter for me?"

The owl cooed softly and Severus interpreted this as a 'yes'. He edged towards the owl and took the letter from it. He looked at his hands where there was a small white scar on his finger. His father's owl, Gruber, had been a fierce owl – a bit like his father – and had bitten him on the finger when Severus had tried to snatch a letter from him. He was still slightly cautious of owls, he preferred to have his fingers _on_ his hands.

He gave the owl a piece of bread and shooed it out one of the windows. He then took the letter and sat on a sofa in the front room. He prised open the letter and read it.

_So_, he thought a minute or two later, _Rosie Watermouth wants to live here. Well, might as well invite her to look around and then offer her the room. _Nobody else had written to him, if she wanted the room badly enough to even put up with him, he might as well let her have it.

Severus got a piece of parchment, a bottle of ink and a large black quill from a drawer. He sat with the nib poised above the blank parchment wondering how to phrase his reply. _I suppose I should tell her my name at some point – she doesn't actually know what the S stands for. Unless she has friends with children who told her – no, then she wouldn't have written at all!_

_Dear Ms. Watermouth..._

Rosie got a reply only a few days later telling her that she was welcome to come and look around the house to see whether she liked it, and that if she did, the room was hers – unless she was a mad axe-woman. Rosie had also found out that his name was Severus. _Unusual, _thought Rosie.

So the following week Rosie Apparated to Severus' house and knocked on the door. The door opened automatically and a hastily sealed envelope was on the floor with her name on it. She picked it up, frowning wondering why on Earth he had left her a note. She just had visions of the bald man from the Crystal Maze jumping out and telling her that the only way to find the kitchen was through the quagmire filled with man-eating crocodiles.

However, to her slight disappointment it was just a simple note saying:

_I am afraid that I can't be here. I've been summoned on some urgent business. I won't be back for a few days. Have a look around and see what you think then leave your answer on the back of the parchment. If you're going to take the room I will expect you here next Wednesday in the morning at ten o'clock sharp. Thank you for your time, Severus Snape._

Rosie folded up the paper – _Right, she thought, I've never moved into a house this way before – oh that's what I was doing wrong! No random man left me notes on the doormat and I wasn't expected Wednesday morning at ten o'clock sharp! Oh well, he said that he wouldn't be here all year round in one of his letters, maybe that's a blessing in disguise. Wonder why he's not here all year round anyway?_

Then Rosie remembered Mrs. Smith the shopkeeper telling asking her whether he was '_that _teacher'. She had no idea. _I guess I'll find out when I finally meet Professor Snape! _She thought with a wry smile.

The house itself was very nice. It was larger than it seemed from the outside (Rosie decided that this was due to magic and not his skill at interior design). There were two largish bedrooms, a small bathroom and a small study upstairs and downstairs was a kitchen (which was huge and had a dining table in it), and a lounge. All of this was fitted very snugly into a cute Victorian terrace.

_Looks like I will be living here then, _Rosie thought picking up a quill dipping it in ink and writing the words '_I will be staying here' _on the back of his note. Then she exited the house and closed the door behind her and Apparated back to her bedsit. She walked in and sat down on her bed, shaking her head and smiling at the unreality of it all – what an _odd _way to rent a room! Though she had to admit that despite the irregularity of the whole shebang it had been a satisfying day and she was quietly confident that she would be living in Severus' house for a long while.

A/N: If you read, please review!


	2. An Omen of Things to Come?

**Chapter 2: An Omen of Things to Come?**

So a week later Rosie was to be found outside Severus Snape's small mid-terrace on a quiet road near London. There was a fairly long, unkempt-looking front garden with a path that lead up to the black front door. Rosie picked up her suitcase (which was only light due to a charm she had placed on it moments before) and headed to the door. When she got there she dropped the suitcase to the floor and heard something smash.

"Oh, shit!" Rosie exclaimed. She bent down to have a look at the case, to try and work out what had broken. "Ah well, probably nothing." She raised her hand to the door and knocked. For some reason she was nervous. Maybe it was excitement. Maybe it was because she'd never met this man before. _Maybe you're a complete idiot Rose._

The door opened and Rosie looked up and saw her housemate-to-be. She stared, not what she had thought at all. She'd imagined a bald guy with dark jacket and a smug look on his face – she didn't know why, perhaps it was her Crystal Maze fantasy.

Instead what she saw was a tallish, thin man with long black hair (_'Bit of a rebel are we?' Rosie thought_) with a stern look on his face. He looked older than he probably was in Rosie's opinion and although Severus totally disagreed, Rosie thought that his face wasn't an ugly one. Unusual perhaps but strangely attractive.

Rosie's eyes travelled down his body and saw that he was wearing Muggle clothes, a black shirt tucked into a black pair of trousers with a leather belt with a silver fastening. (_Very fashionable, Mr. Snape.­_) He had black shoes on – or were they boots? Rosie's would have to ask him that.

"Hey there! You must be Sev?" she extended her hand to him which he took hesitantly.

"Severus, yes. Come in. Make yourself at _home,_"he said rather sarcastically, then he turned on his heel and left her standing at the door on her own.

_That was nice of you, _Rosie thought bitterly. She sighed and picked up her bags leaving them in the hall. Then she went back to her car and got out her other things – boxes of books and CDs, a radio, extra clothes, photos, her cats and brought them gradually up to the house.

When she had brought everything into the house she looked around. The house was small but very nice. There was a narrow hallway in the middle of the house, at the end of which was a flight of stairs that lead up to the bedrooms and bathroom. Off the hall was a lounge (to her left) and a kitchen (to her right). However there was something bugging Rosie, what was it – ah, yes.

_My bloody stuffs still in the hallway! _Rosie exclaimed vehemently to herself. _Would it kill him to help me take my stuff upstairs? It's not like I'm asking him to wash, dry and iron my clothes or anything. _

She walked into the kitchen and there he was sitting at a table, drinking from a mug. He looked up at her as she came in, he was unsmiling.

"You couldn't give me a hand lugging this lots up the stairs could you?" she asked. _Best to give him a chance. Don't want to get off on a bad start, I have to live with him for God's sake. Maybe he's got a bad back or something._

"I deemed that you would be capable enough to carry your own luggage."

"You deemed me – what the hell are you talking about? Just give me hand will you?"

"I thought I made myself plain on the matter," he said smoothly.

Rosie didn't understand why he was being like this, granted she didn't know him at all but she thought that a little common courtesy wouldn't have gone astray. How hard could it possibly be to help someone?

"Look for God's sake – fine, I'm not asking you to help me-"

"Good."

"I'm _telling _you. Just get off your backside and help me up the stairs." She picked up a small box and lobbed it at him; he caught it looking slightly surprised. For a moment Rosie thought that he would refuse but then he got up and moved round the table.

Relieved Rosie stepped back into the hall and began to pile boxes into his arms and carry her own luggage up into her bedroom.

After a few hours of packing things away in drawers and putting things on shelves Rosie became bored and decided to go back downstairs. Admittedly the prospect of facing Severus again was not an inviting one; Rosie had that ominous feeling in her stomach – the feeling that came every time she realised what a crap decision she had just made.

She walked into the kitchen to find him sitting at the table again. He was drinking a cup of tea and when he saw her he asked brusquely:

"Do you want a tea?"

"Erm, yeah thanks. Milk and sugar please." She sat down and looked on a table, there was a book open: 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis'

"That's my book!" she exclaimed suddenly.

"Yes," said Snape sitting down opposite her and passing her a mug. "I opened the box that you tried to decapitate me with. I always liked the book as a child, I remember checking my wardrobe after I'd read, trying to find a way to escape from home."

"You Muggle-born then?" Rosie asked, when he raised an eyebrow she continued. "You're wearing Muggle clothes, you live in a Muggle street, read Muggle books, do I need to carry on?"

"No. To both. I'm from a pureblood line actually. My mother was quite fond of Muggle literature. I just picked it up."

"What house were you in?"

His lips curled in a sneer, "Slytherin."

Rosie nearly spat out her tea. "Slytherin. Yeah, just a bit pureblood. I thought you were all anti-Muggle. How come you live here of all places then?"

"There aren't that many all-Wizard towns and at any rate, it prevents unwanted visitors, nobody would think to look for me here."

"Mmm. Sociable chap aren't you?" Rosie said with a smile. He fell silent. Rosie continued, "So how come you don't live here all year round?"

"I teach."

"At Hogwarts?"

"No, Azkaban," Rosie raised her eyebrows, he smirked. "Well, if you will ask a stupid question. I teach potions, I'm Head of Slytherin house." Rosie suddenly realised what Mrs. Smith had meant, he'd be an absolutely awful teacher! Though, Rosie could see him hovering in the shadows of the cold dungeons, there was something quite Vampiresque about him.

"I could see you being a potions Master, it'd suit. Bet the kids are terrified!"

"Yes, actually!" Rosie could sense that he was relaxing around her. He began to talk about the students and how there was one student called Neville Longbottom oh, and this complete bastard...

They talked for hours about pretty much everything. Rosie had filled him in about her family, her mother, father, pets. She'd told him about her complete lack of organisation and untidiness. He blanched at this point, saying:

"You will look after the house when I'm at Hogwarts won't you?"

"Of course I will, I'm not a _total _failure."

"Just a wanna be, eh?" he said with a smirk.

"Okay, Mr Perfect – tell me about _your _life then!"

"Fine. My name's Severus Perfect, I-" he was cut short by Rosie slapping him on the arm.

"Oh, shut up Severus!"

They carried on chatting and Severus became more and more relaxed. He even offered to cook them dinner. Although he didn't say anything Rosie deduced that it might be his way of apologising for his less than friendly behaviour this morning – though Rosie could also see that his generosity might have had something to do with the fact that she had mentioned how she had ruined Baked Beans.

At about 10 o'clock Rosie decided to go to bed, it had been a long day and she was exhausted. She got up and walked to the door of the living room – they had moved there because Rosie had decided that the kitchen was a terrible place for a chat. As she walked out of the door she turned and said:

"When do you usually go to bed?"

"I usually retire at about 12," he said checking his watch.

Rosie raised a mocking eyebrow, "_Retire _do we?" she laughed. "What time do you get up?"

"About five."

"_Five!_" she exclaimed. "What the hell! You sleep for five hours! My _God! _You're insane. Guess it fits though – you look like the walking dead."

"Thank you very much."

"It wasn't an insult," Rosie said softly.

"I fail to see how it was a compliment," he said dryly.

Rosie laughed, "Ha ha, you know what I mean – well, no you probably don't. You don't look bad you know Sev, just-"

"Hilarious?" he prompted. "Ugly?"

"What? No, not really. I had a boyfriend once with long brown hair and this really big nose. He was lovely – until he dumped me for this tart in Coventry. Ah well, life eh?"

"The point of the story?" he enquired.

"None I suppose. He had a nice nose. So do you – nicer than his though."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm hardly attractive."

"You're hardly ugly," she said with a smile. "You know, the more I look at you the more I see that I like. You're an individual – that's good," his lip curled and she added: "You've got a wicked sense of humour."

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," he stated dully.

Rosie looked at him for a moment, her head tilted to one said. "Yeah, perhaps. Funniest though. Night Sev."

She left the room and plodded up the stairs leaving a silent, stunned, but happy Severus Snape in her wake.

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews, they mean a lot. If you read, please review!_


	3. Have I Forgotten Something?

**Chapter 3: Have I Forgotten Something?**

The next morning Rosie walked down the stairs happy and refreshed. She was in that happy state of awakening – cheerful enough to know that it was a summer morning but still sleepy enough to forget that she still had a lot of things to tidy up and pack away.

She pushed open the kitchen door thinking that she would find an empty room – Severus had told her that he awoke at five o'clock, she had expected him to go out jogging or something similarly active. Instead she found him slumped in a chair by the kitchen table with yet another cup of tea and a newspaper in front of him.

"Good morning," Rosie said brightly.

"There's cereal in the left-hand cupboard and there's milk in the fridge – if you're hungry," he said without looking at her.

"What if I don't want cereal?" Rosie asked teasingly.

"There's probably some crumbs on the floor – oh and I think that number 10 threw out a mouldy loaf – you might be able to scavenge," he replied taking a sip from his mug.

"I think I'll put up with cereal and...any fruit?"

"Checked the _fruit bowl_?"

Rosie decided not to give him the satisfaction of a reply. Instead she poured some cereal into a bowl and put some milk on top. Then grabbing an apple from the bowl on the work surface she went and sat down, with her food, beside Severus.

"Anything good in there?"

"Not really. Every one knows that the Prophet's behind the government, you can't get an unbiased view anywhere."

"My friend writes for it you know," Rosie said crunching into the apple.

"What does she do it for; the money or the satisfaction of telling the public the unabridged, unbiased facts?"

"No need to get snappy," Rosie exclaimed angrily. "I'm just telling you that she's a journalist that's all. She hates Fudge as much as the next man – or woman. At least the Prophet actually pays its writers – not like the bloody _Quibbler_."

Severus snorted into his mug, "Talking of unabridged facts..."

"Do _made up_ facts come in to that category?" Rosie asked coyly.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "My friend works for the Quibbler."

"Really? Oh I'm s-wait! Sev!" she slapped him hard across the arm. "Stop pissing around!"

He put down his mug and rubbed his arm where she had hit him. "Ow, play nicely Rosie."

"I _always _play nicely Severus," Rosie purred. Severus froze; reality had obviously just hit him. He had just twigged where _this _conversation was going – they were flirting! He got up quickly, made up an excuse about student's homework not marking itself and he left the kitchen and went up to his study.

Severus reached the door and went in. He sat down in his chair behind the large oaken desk and exhaled the breath he had been holding. He slumped slightly and then rested his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

Rosie, he thought. Rosie, Rosie, Rosie. There was something about her; there was no denying it. She'd only been with him a day but – he couldn't phrase it, there was just some undeniable attraction. When she had entered the front door yesterday he had been dumbfounded. She was beautiful, long brown hair, brown eyes...Severus drifted off into his own world.

Severus opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling. He was usually such a closed person but in the short time he had known Rosie, _very short time, _Severus corrected himself, he had told her more than he had told his family. She was just easy to talk to.

There was a knock on the door, it opened and Rosie came in.

_Speak of the devil, Severus thought._

"Hey, um...I did pack everything away didn't I? I know it sounds odd but I just can't place it – it feels like I've forgotten something."

"Brain?"

"You're hilarious aren't you Severus? You should start up a comedy routine during your Potion lessons."

He stared at her. "Are you sure you brought everything into the house?"

"Yeah I'm sure, even I wouldn't just leave something outside in the garden."

He muttered something like _I wouldn't put it past you. _

"Hey Mister, you've only known me for a day! How can you judge me?"

"Well," he said, appearing to deliberate somewhat. "You do _talk _a lot. Is it my fault if I actually listen? You told me you're entire life story!"

"You don't talk enough – I don't know anything about your life," she stated plainly.

"You don't want to know, it'd only depress you."

"How can you say that?"

"Because it depresses _me_!" he exclaimed.

Rosie smiled and bit her lip, "I still can't work out what I've missed."

There was a soft wailing sound from downstairs, Severus frowned slightly. "Did you here that?" he asked.

"What?"

There was the sound again, he couldn't believe he hadn't heard it before. "There it is again, sort of like – _wailing._"

A shocked expression suddenly lit Rosie's features. "Oh my God!" she said. "My cats! I left them in baskets downstairs!"

"Where downstairs?" asked Severus.

"Behind the bin in the kitchen! Oh my God! Hang on Hans! Hang on Alan, I'm coming!" and with that she ran from the room and into the kitchen. Severus followed her and saw her at the bottom of the stairs cradling her cats looking stricken.

Severus couldn't help it, he couldn't believe that someone could forget their pets completely. He laughed loudly and deeply, ending up sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands.

"You complete idiot!" he managed to choke out.

"Thanks a lot, Sev," she said though she was laughing too. "You haven't got any cat food have you?"

_A/N: If you read, please review – all reviews are very welcome!_


	4. The Television

**Chapter 4: The Television**

The week progressed at a steady pace. The cats flourished in their new home and weren't even upset at the change of scenery. Severus was at first stunned by the idea of having animals in the house and had refused point blank to feed them – though Rosie had once caught him giving one of them some left over chicken.

In fact, unless she was very much mistaken Severus was becoming more and more accustomed to having Rosie in the house. He didn't seem to be under the pretence of being polite – Rosie felt that it was not his nature to be nice to someone's face, only to bitch about them behind their back. Severus would have done it in front of their face and not given a damn about the consequences.

And Rosie was becoming very used to living in the Victorian mid-terrace. She was beginning to consider it her home. She got on well with Severus and loved the area. She couldn't see herself leaving in a hurry – there was just one thing missing...

At 8 o'clock on morning there was a knock on the door. Unfortunately it was Severus who answered it, Rosie wasn't up yet. Severus stormed to the door. He was in a bad temper and had no idea why, sometimes these rages just came on and it was all he could do to stay calm. In these moods anything and everything annoyed him, cling film sticking to his fingers, cats in the way, the holes in his socks, so having a person knocking on your door in the morning was doing nothing to improve the way he felt.

He wrenched open the door and glared at the person before him. It was a man in his thirties; he was chubby and looked distinctly gormless. Another way to impress Severus Snape, look as if you don't which way your head is fixed on.

"Yes?" he snarled. "Can I help you?"

"Er...yes – I think so."

"You think do you? Well that's very good of you."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Severus muttered. "By the time you get it it'll be midnight – if we're lucky."

"I have a delivery for R. Watermouth."

"Really?"

"Er, yes I do. You're not the person are you?"

"I beg your pardon?" Severus growled incredulously. "No parent would be as cruel as to name their son_ Rosie _Watermouth – not even mine."

"Didn't have a good childhood then?" he asked. Why did people have to be so good-natured and concerned – no, strike that, why did people have to be so nosy?

"Does it show?" asked Severus ironically. He opened his mouth but Severus cut him off. "I don't care you stupid man! Why on Earth are you here at this time of day – at any time of day for that matter."

"I've got a delivery for Rosie Watermouth."

"Stupidity should be made a crime," Severus muttered to himself rolling his eyes. Then he turned back to the man and spoke loudly as if addressing an incredibly dense person (which in retrospect he was). "Yes, you've already said that. What have you come to deliver?"

"A parcel," he said looking slightly concerned for his own well being.

Severus snarled audibly, the man jumped. "A parcel containing _what?_"

"A – a television I think, sir."

Suddenly Severus felt something brush past him and Rosie was at the door taking the parcel from the man, trying to conceal a grin. "Thank you," she said through suppressed giggles. "Your parcel has managed to get through the new security device," she gestured at Severus and the man smiled weakly, "you can never be too careful. Thanks a lot. Bye!" She closed the door as he walked away down the path. The she put the parcel down and burst out laughing.

"What?" he asked, bristling.

"I love the way in only a few minutes you have a fully grown man quivering in his boots and addressing you as 'sir' – you frightened the life out of him you know!"

Severus smiled. "Served him right, never met anyone so _dense _in all my life and I've met many, many people."

"I hope you're not like this to your students!"

"I'm afraid I am," he said sighing.

"No I think they are," he frowned slightly and she explained. "Afraid."

Something clicked and he mouthed 'oh'.

She smiled and moved the package into the front room and set it down on the floor by the window near the fireplace.

"So," said Severus who had followed her in to the room and was sitting on a sofa watching her. "What is it?"

"It's a television or TV or telly – whatever you want to call it."

"I see, and, er," he paused, looking slightly lost, "what does it do?"

"You'll see."

Rosie took the TV out of its box and set it on the empty table by the window, then she took the cable and slotted it into the back of the machine and plugged it in to the socket.

"I noticed that you had plug sockets in your house so I thought I'd take advantage."

"The last owners were Muggles," Severus told her.

Rosie stood back to admire the effect and the bent down and switched the machine on. A picture of a man reading the news came onto the screen, Severus gasped.

"He's moving and – and talking!" he whispered excitedly. "Look! I can hear what he's saying!"

"Of course you can – this is what a TV does, it plays you lots of programmes, this is the news, he's talking about world events."

Severus shot her a look, "Just because I've never seen a TV before doesn't mean that I've forgotten everything. You don't need to tell me what the news is!"

"Sorry. So do you like?" Rosie asked.

"I like," he said in awe.

"I knew you would!" she said and she walked over to him and hugged him tightly. At first Severus didn't realise what had happened and then he froze. This was their first contact and Severus was nervous. But after a few seconds he realised that he needn't be and hugged her back. It was a nice, warm hug – he wasn't used to them and was almost disappointed when she let go.

"What was that for?"

"For being a great housemate," she said. Funny how the term didn't sound horribly sweet and sugary when she said it. "And for making me laugh," it took a while for Severus to realise that she meant to deliveryman.

"I'll make us some tea," he said.

"No, no. You sit here," she pushed him down onto the sofa, "and play with the TV – it is your friend, be nice." She handed him the remote.

"What do I do with this?"

"See if you can work it out," Rosie said grinning and she walked into the kitchen to make some tea almost laughing at the way Severus held the remote as though it would bite.

Later that night Severus and Rosie sat in the lounge with plates of food on their laps watching the television. It had been Severus' idea – he had watched the TV avidly all afternoon. Rosie supposed that the charm of it would wear off soon enough and Severus would come to treat it with the same consideration as his did the bath or the fridge.

However Rosie decided to take advantage of the situation. Severus was engrossed in the telly and therefore did not notice Rosie staring fixedly at him.

She was admiring his face. She loved it and had come to view his face as unconventionally handsome. He had a large aquiline nose, which Rosie liked very much indeed. It was the most obvious of his features and not at all to his taste but Rosie loved it. It was slim and – oh – she didn't know, just so delicious and kissable. That was it! His nose was kissable, she could rub her face against it and tap it and drive him mad but it was still a lovely nose.

Then there was his mouth, his lips were thin but still attractive, he had a nice jaw which, thank the Lord, was not a square one – she hated square jaws! Then there were his eyes; deep fathomless pools of obsidian, though Rosie could have sworn that they had become less cold in the short time that she had known him. His eyes were possibly his best feature, they were almond shaped and long lashed giving his eyes a defined shape to them. Then there was his other possibly best feature (oh, there were so many, how could Rosie decide?), his eyebrows. Rosie had a fetish about eyebrows, hands, eyes and shoes and all of these things were perfect. His brows weren't thin and neither were they thick, they were shapely with not a hair out of place on them. It was almost as though he plucked them – Rosie nearly snorted out loud, Severus Snape would _never _pluck his eyebrows.

Then there were his shoes, no they weren't shoes, Rosie had seen them off his feet, they were boots, finely made, Italian leather boots. They were black, like everything else in his wardrobe and they were long and slim and elegant. Really very like him.

"You do realise that you have an excellent taste in shoes," Rosie said when he finally muted the television after the programme he had been watching finished.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Your shoes, they're very nice. You have good taste."

"Oh," he looked slightly surprised. He looked down at them. "Thanks. Well, the face isn't too brilliant so I thought that my feet could at least look decent."

"What do you have against your face?"

"What do I have against my face? Have you seen it? I'm hideous!"

"What don't you like?"

"My face," he said.

"Don't be stupid, there must be something you don't like more than anything else," Rosie could bet that it was going to be his –

"My nose. It's horrible. Too big."

"Large, I'd say."

"Hooked, I would."

"Aquiline."

"Roman," he said.

"Elegant."

He snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, that's the point, it's _not _elegant. It sticks out a mile and looks totally out of place."

Rosie sensed that it was time to move on to a different subject. He actually seemed quite angry about his own appearance – Rosie would never have guessed that he would be so self-conscious.

"There must be something about you that you do like – and no, not shoes, they don't count!" she added as he opened his mouth.

"Well, I don't really know, I've never thought about what I _like_ on my face."

"Maybe you should, it'd cheer you up, here," she magicked a mirror out of thin air and passed it to him, "have a look at yourself."

He did, for a long time, examining his face critically. There didn't seem to be anything that he actually liked without fault and Rosie thought that there was something underneath his hatred of his appearance.

"Well?" Rosie asked after a few silent minutes. "Anything there you like?"

"My eyebrows are adequate I suppose."

"Really?" Rosie said grinning. She got up and moved over to sit next to him and brought her hands up to his face. She cupped his face and turned it round so he was looking at her.

He seemed somewhat surprised that she was touching his face but he did not pull away. Rosie looked over his face and then said,

"I like your eyebrows too," she moved her face closer to his. He blinked coolly but did not look away from her. He appeared totally indifferent to her. "And your eyes and your mouth," she continued. She stopped and brought her mouth closer to his. Their lips were near to each other's now and she could feel his breath on her face. They stayed motionless for a few moments, his lips looking so tender and appealing, "and your nose," she added softly, tapping the bridge of his nose with her forefinger. He suddenly withdrew from her touch and brushed himself away from her hands.

He swallowed and looked at the floor.

"Are you all right?" Rosie asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," he muttered croakily.

"Are you sure there's nothing more to your hatred of your appearance than you thinking that you're ugly?"

"There is," he said heavily. "But I don't wish to talk about it."

Rosie, however, was determined to pursue the subject. "Were you bullied at Hogwarts?"

"What does it matter if I was?" he hissed.

"Were you?" asked Rosie more firmly.

He bowed his head slightly and then, after a minute or two, nodded.

"Oh, Sev!" Rosie gasped and she put her arms over his shoulders. "Come here!"

He lent awkwardly into her body and at first he was totally rigid, but then he slumped across her, laying his head on her lap and sitting there silently.

Rosie realised that he wouldn't tell her about his time at school on this occasion, but the omission that he had been bullied was a milestone. She softly stroked his hair with her right hand while the other gently rubbed his body. They sat like that for a while, Rosie trying to ignore the sensation that having his head on her lap was creating and Severus trying to ignore the tingling feeling he was getting wherever her hands touched his body.

A/N: If you read, please review!


	5. Not So Tactile After All

**Chapter 5: Not So Tactile After All **

It was now mid-August and Rosie was coming to realise that soon Severus was going to leave home and teach at Hogwarts. It was a while before she realised fully that she would miss him deeply and that she didn't want him to go. She didn't even know when she would see him again, but she did _want _to see him during the school year.

This actually surprised Rosie, for she had not really acknowledged her true feelings towards Severus – that was until the day the TV had arrived. She had considered him a friend and a very close one at that, but ever since she had found herself close to kissing him she had realised how much he meant to her. But there was a change in Severus too, since the day that Severus had laid his head in her lap he had become slightly withdrawn from her. It wasn't like he didn't talk to her, he did, he even accompanied her on trips into London and helped her pick out clothes for her to try on – even though he looked bored out of his skull. However, every time they were close to touching he moved away so that they couldn't. On the rare occasion that there was physical contact, he flinched. This upset Rosie though she said nothing to Severus. Rosie was a tactile person, she gave everyone hugs and kisses, so to not be able to do this to a very close friend of hers was disconcerting.

But nevertheless, Rosie realised that Severus was a complex person. A lot had obviously happened to him in his life, it explained his temper and his sarcasm (they always say that sarcasm is pent-up anger) and his lack of self-confidence. Anyone who saw Severus would think that he was a fairly confident person, he insulted people and always seemed sure of what he was doing, but that was in the lime light – and Rosie was sure that it was a self-preservation thing. Behind closed doors he did show himself to Rosie, he had told her how he just felt thoroughly depressed sometimes and had admitted to Rosie, on that unforgettable evening, that he had been bullied.

Rosie took from this what she could. Despite being a very non-tactile person he had shown her his true side and even admitted his own sadness. She thought that Severus did not do this to anyone and everyone and came to realise that he must trust her. This made Rosie feel pleasantly surprised and happy, he trusted her, not just anyone – _her!_

However, there was a niggling problem. And she couldn't tell Severus about it, he _was _the problem. So instead she addressed a letter to her best friend Alina and waited a reply.

_Hey Alina,_

_How are you? I'm okay, settling into my new house very well – I may even live here! Who knows? It's certainly better than my previous place – the central heating works and there are no leaks in any of the pipes – happy days! _

_Basically Alina, I need your advice. I think that I am falling in love with my housemate, Severus – _

There. She had said it; she was falling in love with Severus. No wait, she was in love with Severus but she couldn't tell him. She just couldn't. She loved him dearly but she was not sure that he returned her feelings. If she admitted to him how she felt and he didn't reciprocate then it would make living with him very difficult indeed. And if she did tell him and they couldn't live together she would have to move out and she didn't want that. She might even lose him as a friend – at least if she didn't tell him he'd still be a friend which was something.

Don't even start, I know you. I don't know whether I should tell him. If I do and he doesn't love me back I might lose his friendship and trust and I might have to move out – I don't want to do that again. I want to stay in one place. I think I'm going insane, I need your advice. 

_Please write back soon, _

_Love_

_Rosie xxx_

So she sent the letter to Alina the following day and thankfully Alina wrote back promptly. Rosie hastily unrolled her letter and tried to decipher Alina's messy handwriting.

_Yo Rosie, _

_I'm fine thank you very much, looks like you're not though. Only you would manage to move into the perfect house after years and years of trying and then fall in love with the owner only to worry whether you'll have to move out again – typical. _

_I don't know what to say, I've never really been in the same position. Didn't you tell me that he is a teacher? Well, I suppose you could tell him on the first of September and then you wouldn't have to worry about it for a few months and it would be his problem._

_I reckon people get too worried about love anyway – _

Oh, here we go again, though Rosie pessimistically. Alina's advice always has the words 'I reckon' inevitably followed by 'people get too worried about love'. The thing was Alina had this knack of finding guys who just simply told her how they felt. Why was life so complicated for everyone else?

_After all, what does it matter? I think that you should try and find out how he feels about you. Take him out to the cinema or something and take him to dinner – just go out as friends. Then you can see what it would be like with him. With any luck he'll realise that he loves you and confess his undying affection and you'll get married and have lots of kids!_

_What does this mystery Severus Snape look like anyway? And don't just say good looking – you know that I won't believe you – why do always fancy the ugly ones?_

_Send me a reply ASAP,_

_Love you!_

_Alina_

_x_

Rosie wrote a reply immediately telling Alina that he was gorgeous and described every detail of his face. She was sure that Alina would _not _find him attractive but never mind. Alina and Rosie always disagreed when it came to men, Rosie liked unusual men with big noses and dark hair, where as Alina like pretty-boys that everyone else thought was good looking. Hmm, spot the normal taste eh?

She sent the letter on its way with Severus' owl – since he had one there didn't seem to be any point going to the post office. Now all she had to do was act on Alina's advice. It was actually good advice for a change, she just had to work out what Severus would want to do on a 'date', she was sure it wouldn't be a Hugh Grant movie. In fact, he had told her that he detested Hugh Grant. She couldn't see Severus at a musical – Rosie laughed, could you imagine?

"What's so funny?" Severus had just entered the room and was frowning at Rosie.

"Nothing. Just trying to imagine you at a musical!" he continued to look perplexed. "Do you want to go out somewhere soon? We haven't really done anything other than food shopping and clothes shopping. I don't know what though, anything take your fancy?"

"Oh, I don't know. Do you want to go to London? We could see a play, I suppose," he shrugged.

"Yeah, that's a good idea! We could eat out as well, make a whole trip of it."

"No, wait, hang on. I know it's not as exciting as the theatre but – erm, do you think we could go to some museums?"

"Which museum did you have in mind?" asked Rosie, a date to a museum – interesting.

"Well, the V and A have got a Gothic Exhibition going on. I would really like to see that. We could still eat out," he added thoughtfully.

"That actually sounds quite good! What about this Saturday?"

"Don't see why not. Oh, and I need to ask you something," he said seriously sitting down at the kitchen table opposite Rosie.

"Oh?"

"You know that the Dark Lord has returned."

"Yes," said Rosie slowly.

"Do you support him?" Severus asked.

"Do I support him?" she repeated incredulously. "I'm almost offended! Of course I don't! I'm Muggle born, remember? The scum of the Earth! The one's that he wants to get rid of! You have no idea what it was like for me last time – when he was around. I was terrified for my family." She sighed sadly. "Luckily nothing happened to them – but you can imagine how tense I feel now that I know he's back."

"I do apologise," Severus said graciously. "I had no idea."

"Yeah, well," she said vaguely. "I tell you, one family that we knew did get tortured by – him – if I ever got my hands on a Death Eater..." she left the sentence hanging and Severus feeling mighty uncomfortable.

Severus swallowed and looked into her eyes intently for a moment. "Indeed. I believe you."

"Why on Earth did you want to know that?" Rosie asked.

"Well, I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix. You've heard of that haven't you?" Rosie nodded. "Right, well, we are meeting tonight and they, well I did too, we wondered if you would come along?"

"Do I have to join?"

"No, but, if you – if you want to then you can. I just wanted you to know what I do, so that I don't have to sneak around."

"Right. Well when do you leave?"

"In about twenty minutes."

Rosie considered his proposition and then smiled. "Fine, I'll come along, too."

Severus grinned at her across the table. "Great! You can meet everyone!"

"Are they friends of yours?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Erm, in a way. Most of them are really just acquaintances and some of my students are going to be there as well, though they're not going to be in the meeting."

"Will I be allowed in the meeting?"

"If you join," he said.

"I'll think about it tonight. What do you do for the Order?"

"I'll tell you if – and hopefully when – you join," he said standing up. "I'm going to have a wash. I'll see you in a few minutes."

"All right then," said Rosie watching him leave the room, wondering what on Earth she had let herself in for.

Twenty minutes Rosie and Severus were walking down a road in London towards Number twelve Grimmauld Place. Rosie wanted to test Severus to see if she could work out his feelings for her. As they neared the turning into Grimmauld Place Rosie moved closer to Severus so that when Severus took a step his body met hers. He didn't seem to object to that so Rosie thought that she would just go for it. She linked her left arm through his right and lent towards him.

As expected, he stiffened somewhat but continued walking. Rosie was heartened and brought round her right hand to link with her left, meaning that Severus' arm was completely encased. Severus stiffened some more. Rosie was once again heartened when he voiced no objection.

So Rosie thought that she would try something more daring. She brought down her hand and took his hand in hers, making sure that their fingers intertwined. His hand was laced with sweat and Rosie couldn't tell whether it was the heat of the day or nervousness. She swore that she could feel his pulse through his fingers. She interlocked her fingers more tightly in his, savouring the feeling of his skin on hers. She felt a tingling sensation down her left thigh and a gnawing feeling in her stomach.

Rosie looked up at Severus and found that his eyes were closed and that there was a frown line deepening between his eyes. Rosie also realised that they had stopped moving and were standing, motionless in the middle of the street. Rosie turned and stood in front of him, and grabbed his free hand with hers, she caressed his fingers lightly and then she brought his hands so that they were near her hips.

Severus opened his eyes and gasped slightly and then wrenched his arms from her reach. He brushed past her and walked at a fast pace down the road, his movement's jerky and his shoulders rounded.

At the entrance to Grimmauld Place he turned to her and called, "Come on, we will be late."

Rosie shrugged defeatedly and followed Severus into the house. It was an odd house, Rosie thought. Like that of a dying person. She followed Severus down into a basement kitchen.

There were quite a few people in the kitchen. More, indeed, than Rosie had expected. Severus sat down in a corner and Rosie noticed miserably that there was no available seat near him, it looked as though Rosie would be sitting on her own.

"Hello, dear, you must be Rosie," a large lady with a kindly face said to her.

"Yeah, hi, who are you?"

"Oh, how rude! I'm Molly Weasley – this is my husband Arthur," she gestured at a thin balding man in the centre of the table, "my eldest Bill, Minerva McGonagall," Rosie recognised her of course, she had been her Transfiguration teacher, "Tonks and Remus Lupin."

Rosie smiled at them all in turn and they smiled back. She vaguely recognised the faces of Lupin and Tonks, she could have sworn that she had seen them at Hogwarts – she probably had.

The man named Remus Lupin gestured for her to sit next to him and she obliged, casting a look at Severus as she did, to her dismay he was not looking at her but idly examining his own fingernails.

"So," he said, "you're Severus' new housemate! We've all been wondering who's managed to put up with him! Congratulations."

Rosie smiled. "Thanks, he's not that bad though."

"Really? Must have changed a lot then, I knew him from school!"

That caught Rosie's attention. "From Hogwarts? Were you a friend of his?"

"Er...no, not really. We didn't get on very well at all actually, I wouldn't say that I hated him but, he didn't really make it easy for himself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, he wasn't very popular. And not just that, he never really tried to fit in, he was picked on – not that he couldn't hold his own – anyway, that's ancient history! How are you coping?"

Rosie laughed. "Well, you know, we're at each other's throat all the time," she said sarcastically. "I don't know how long he's going to put up with me. Actually," Rosie cast a look around the table, everyone else was talking, so they weren't being overheard, "he's been a bit off with me recently."

"He's always off with everyone. I would worry about it. Then again, he did seem to get along with you – we were all surprised, I didn't think that he got on with _anyone_."

"Ha ha, no it's just that every time I touch him he backs away!"

"I wouldn't get too bothered – I say a nice sentence to him and he goes on the defensive, just be grateful that he likes you!"

"Yeah, I suppose," she said though she didn't feel at all reassured by this news. "Anyway, why are we talking about Severus – what about you? You haven't told me anything." Rosie said joyfully.

Rosie and Remus chatted for a while until the dinner was served. It was an enjoyable night, and it really did last way into the night. Rosie decided that she would join the Order, though she was not prepared to actually _do _anything for the foreseeable future. She had just got settled into her new life and being in the Order was a bit risky.

At about eleven Severus suggested that they make a move. It had been the first thing that he had said to her all evening and Rosie wondered what the journey home would be like. She was getting ready to leave and had just promised Remus Lupin that they would meet up on Saturday when she got a tap on the shoulder.

It was Minerva McGonagall. She beckoned her into an empty room and shut the door behind her.

"Hello Rosie, long time no see!" she said.

"Indeed! You haven't changed you know."

"You have though, I actually wanted to tell you something. I've been chatting to Severus. Despite our being from different Houses we are, I suppose, friends. At least, as close to Severus as anyone I know – bar _you_. He likes you, Rosie – a lot."

"Erm, thanks – I think," said Rosie, not really knowing what to say but feeling that it would be impolite to say nothing.

"What I really mean to say is, dear, be careful."

"Be careful?"

"Severus, for all his mean outlook and brusque manner is a fragile man. Don't hurt him."

"How would I hurt him?"

"I think that you can work that out. May I remind you that there is only one more weekend until Hogwarts begins another year."

"Yeah, I know, I'm missing Sev in advance,"

"He lets you call him 'Sev', does he?" Minerva asked raising an eyebrow above the rim of her square-framed glasses. Rosie nodded, but Minerva made no further enquires. "May I say one more thing, quickly – I think Severus will be suitably impatient by now."

Rosie laughed, "Yeah?"

"He's shy, in his own very peculiar way. He won't tell you what he thinks may be thrown back in his face."

"That's very cryptic of you Professor!"

"Please, call me Minerva," she said surveying Rosie through her glasses. "And, Rosie, I'm sure you will understand my coded message in time."

"Why can't you just tell me now?"

"That would ruin the fun!" she said and she bade Rosie goodbye and left the room.

Rosie felt slightly confused but nevertheless she left the room and met Severus in the hallway. He looked at her closely before saying, "Come on then, I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, same," she said as they walked out into the cool night air. When they rounded the corner five minutes later and they still weren't talking, Rosie decided to take direct action.

"Look Severus," she began, "I'm really sorry about what happened earlier. I was just testing the water – I wasn't sure how you'd react to being touched."

"I don't mind being touched but you went a bit far!" he said, staring at her incredulously.

"I'm sorry, but really what did I do?"

"You-you – held me, touched me in a manner that was most inappropriate," Rosie rolled her eyes.

"Most inappropriate! You are so full of crap you know! What is so offensive about holding hands?"

"It's what you were implying beneath it!" he shouted.

"And what _was _I implying beneath it?" Rosie asked furiously.

"Gah, never mind! You wouldn't understand," he turned away and continued walking down the street.

"Thank you very much!" Rosie shouted after him.

"It was a _pleasure,_" he said and he Apparated out of the street.

A/N: If you read, please review! Thank you so much to those 2 people who already have, I love you all!


	6. Forgetfulness

**Chapter 6: Forgetfulness **

Rosie Apparated back to the house and banged open the door. She was furious, she could understand that Severus might not like being touched but to shout at her in the middle of the street about it, publicly humiliating her, was going a bit far. And then there was the comment that he had made: "It's what you were implying beneath it!"

What did he mean by that? There was nothing beneath it! She just wanted to see if Severus liked her, she just wanted to see how comfy he was when she touched him. Why was he being so ludicrous, he'd taken the whole thing out of context, exaggerated it and implied that she had taken advantage of him!

She stomped up the stairs into her room. She got dressed and washed and slumped into bed. It took an hour of tossing and turning before she was finally asleep.

If she had looked to her left when she had come into the house, she would have seen Severus Snape sitting on the sofa staring into space, thinking deeply about what had just happened.

He felt stupid and ashamed of the way he had shouted at her. But at the same time he felt angry towards Rosie. The problem for him was that he was in love with Rosie and he had never been truly in love before. He'd never really had a girlfriend – not really. Not someone that he took to the cinema and kissed on the back row. Not a woman that he could walk hand in hand with in Hyde Park.

He was just inexperienced and didn't know how to read Rosie. She was a lovely person, a friendly, funny, lovely person. She had plenty of friends, and that was where Severus' problem started – he didn't. Severus felt unable to read Rosie's true feelings.

_She probably touches people all the time, _he though savagely to himself. _She's just friendly._

Severus really felt hurt by Rosie linking arms with him, not because he was offended by holding hands, or that he thought the gesture was outrageous but because he knew that she did not feel the same way he did. She probably held hands with many male friends, he was no exception. It wasn't like she was trying to be malicious but Severus only touched people when it meant something, when they meant something to him. If he allowed himself to accept Rosie's forwardness then he would be exposing himself. Every time he lent his heart to people it was always broken. Rosie could break his heart by simply not loving him back – he would not allow himself to be hurt again.

And still, he had Rosie as a friend. If he confessed his love and she rejected it he might lose her friendship and she was his only close ally – bar Minerva. She may even move away from him and then he would never be able to see her again. That would be worse than anything. Severus resolved then and there not to tell her how he felt.

Severus felt exhausted and made his way up to bed. He lay in the middle of his bed and stared at the ceiling. How cruel life was, he thought and closed his eyes and thought no more.

When Rosie got up the next morning she realised that Severus must already be awake for she could hear the sounds of pots and pans clanging together and could smell the smell of toast and coffee.

Rosie got out of bed and draped a dressing gown over her night-clothes.

_Right, _she thought. _Here goes nothing._

She moved downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Severus was sitting at the table, sipping at his cup of coffee and staring determinedly at the newspaper lying flat in front of him.

Rosie made herself some cereal and poured herself a juice and sat down opposite him. She knew that this would make him uncomfy, but she didn't care.

"Severus this is stupid. I am really sorry about what happened. I now know that you don't want to share any contact and I'm sorry if it seemed like I was – taking advantage. I promise that that was not my intention. But I also think that you went a bit over the top," Severus glared at her, "don't look at me like that, you were. I'm sorry but it was just a bit of contact – you have to accept that I'm a tactile person and that you are a great friend of mine," and I wish more, thought Severus and Rosie simultaneously, "don't read more into it than there is. There's nothing between the lines – they're all squashed up!"

Severus smiled and nodded. "I'm – I'm," he paused. "I'm just not used to being touched that's all. I _apologise_ for overreacting."

"That's okay, I'm just a touchy feely kind of person – if you don't want me to make any contact with you then just say."

"It's not that," said Severus, his brow slightly creased. "It's just that it takes me longer to get to know and trust someone. I don't mind you hugging me, I just consider holding hands to be a slightly more," a flush was creeping up his neck – god, he really was this uncomfortable with himself, "_romantic _gesture."

"Ah, I see," said Rosie, trying not to look as though the comment meant nothing. "Well I'm glad we sorted that out. I couldn't stand not talking to you. I missed having a decent conversation."

"You seemed to be doing fine with Lupin," he said sardonically.

"Yeah, he's really nice," Severus raised an eyebrow.

"He's a werewolf you know," Severus said.

Rosie gasped. "Really? I had no idea. The poor man-"

"The poor man?" said Severus incredulously. "He bites!"

"Don't be mean. But I do feel sorry for him."

"What? You'll never be able to go on moonlit strolls with him?"

"That's unkind Sev. And anyway, I don't want to go on moonlit strolls with him."

"He liked you, you liked him – need I say more."

"Yeah, I _liked _him. I don't love him. Besides, I've got my eye on another handsome devil."

Severus spluttered – he'd just swallowed a rather large volume of water. "You – who?"

"That would be telling! I'm going to have a bath, see you later!"

Rosie left the room leaving Severus to stew. _It serves him right, _thought Rosie. _But it also seems like he's jealous! Yes!_

The week proceeded in a normal fashion. Severus and Rosie got on like nothing had come between them, they watched TV together, Severus cooked, washed and got annoyed when Rosie left dirty plates around the house. However it was the last week before term started and teachers had to go back a day before students to get everything organised and ready.

So that meant that Saturday would be Severus' last day at home for a while. Rosie still didn't know whether he came home for the winter – she hoped that he did. She would miss him.

On Saturday morning Rosie got up and dressed. It was seven o'clock and Rosie was up, she thought, before Severus. She tiptoed out into the bathroom and had a quick shower and wash before drying her hair and putting on her clothes. She had promised Remus Lupin that she would go with him to see the Tower of London – he'd never been and was very curious to know what Muggles did with criminals in the fourteenth century.

Unfortunately Rosie had forgotten that she had also promised Severus that they would go to the Gothic Exhibition. She had already arranged times with Lupin and had completely forgotten about Severus, though she would have rather have gone with him.

She ate a quick breakfast of toast and then walked out to the hallway and grabbed a jacket. It was now quarter past eight; she was meeting Remus at nine at Kings Cross. She was just moving towards the door when she heard a voice.

"Rosie? Where are going?" It was Severus. Rosie turned around to find him standing on the bottom step of the stairs looking at her with a frown on his face. Rosie's heartbeat quickened; he was wearing a long, grey nightshirt – oh how gorgeous his legs looked in that!

"I'm off to London – with Remus."

Severus' frown turned to a scowl and she saw something like fright flash through his eyes, but it was quickly gone.

"London? With _Remus? _How about London with Severus?"

"What?"

"The Gothic Exhibition at the V and A? You promised that we'd go today! In fact _you _suggested it!"

Rosie suddenly remembered – how could she have been so stupid? "Oh God, I'm so sorry – but I can't now – I'm on my way to meet Re-"

"Oh, so your promise with me means nothing? I was right not to trust you!"

"No, Sev – I didn't mean it like that – I just totally forgot! I could come with you if you wanted or you-"

"If I wanted – if _I _wanted!" Rosie opened her mouth to apologise but Severus cut her off. "Don't even start. I don't want to hear whatever shit you're going to spout! Go off and have _fun _with Remus. Don't think about me!"

"Severus, please – I really am sorry!"

"Get _out! _Go on! Remus will be_ waiting!_" and with that he flew upstairs, she heard his door slam as she quietly shut the front one. Good God, now she felt terrible.

Rosie had no choice but to go and meet Remus. She felt awful. Given a choice she would have rather have gone to the V and A museum with Severus but it had honestly just slipped her mind – he could have reminded her about it! If he had done then she would have cancelled Remus. But no, she couldn't blame Severus for this; this was her fault and her fault alone.

_It would've been better if I'd made this mistake when we hadn't just got over one hurdle,_ Rosie thought miserably.

Rosie set off down the road with her head bowed. She would have to try and be cheerful around Remus, it wasn't his fault that all of this had happened and it wasn't fair to ruin his day.

She and Remus had a good day out, as far as Rosie could tell though she wasn't really in the mood. Her and Remus were now sitting in a café in Soho, looking out into the street. Rosie hadn't said anything in over ten minutes, she hadn't even noticed – but Remus had.

"Rosie? Rosie? Hello?" he asked waving a hand in front of her face.

"What? Were you saying something?" he nodded, smiling. "Sorry, I was miles away."

"I know and you've been like it all day – is there anything wrong?"

"No, nothing," Rosie looked back out the window and then burst out. "I'm sorry, you must hate me – I've ruined your day!" And with that Rosie buried her face in her hands, trying to hide her tears.

"What?" said Remus aghast. "Don't be stupid – hey, Rosie – you're crying. What's wrong? And don't say 'nothing' I know that's not true!"

"It's – oh, it's so stupid," she said, wiping her eyes on a napkin. Remus reached out grabbed her hand, rubbing it with his thumb.

"Ssh, it's all right. Just tell me what happened."

She sniffed and laughed weakly. "Thanks. It's Severus. We were supposed to be coming into London today, to go to the Gothic Exhibition but I totally forgot and I arranged to come out with you."

She dried her eyes again and looked up at Remus. He was looking at her, concern etched in every premature line of his face.

"Anyway, he saw me going out this morning and asked me where I was going. So I told him and then I remembered and felt awful. I tried to apologise but he didn't listen – not that I can blame him. Oh, Remus – he looked so upset, I feel dreadful!"

She began sobbing again and Remus moved round the table to sit next to her. He put his arms round her shoulders and held her to himself. She snivelled into his jacket and Remus didn't know what to do other than to hold her. It seemed to help though, after a few minutes she looked up at him, her eyes dry and puffy. But she smiled nevertheless and said,

"Thanks."

"It's been a good day Rosie, thank _you._ I'm just sorry that you feel so rotten. It was an honest mistake, he'll forgive you, if he doesn't he's a fool."

"He looked so angry."

"He will be for a while. He holds grudges but he will let it go eventually – you mean too much to him."

"What?" Rosie said, looking shocked.

"He loves you Rose, I can see it in his face. For him to be chatty to a woman that he's only known two months is quite something. He was surrounded by a school full of people for seven years and he never made any friends."

For some reason the statement made Rosie want to cry even more. She suddenly felt very downcast. Remus said that he had to go and that he would send her a letter soon. He gave her a hug and a kiss, paid the bill and left.

Rosie left too, walking solitarily down the back streets of London. She didn't want to go home yet – not just yet anyway. She had a feeling that Severus would still be livid, and she couldn't blame him, she had let him down.

And then there was Remus' parting comment – he had said that Severus loved her. Well, he probably wouldn't feel that attached to her any more. Still, she loved him. Rosie decided that whatever he was like when she got back, Rosie would tell him how she felt the day he went back to Hogwarts.

Christ, that's tomorrow!

A/N: You may be wondering why the updates are coming thick and fast...well, it's because I've already posted it on another site. I'm trying to catch it up on this website, so then probably the posts will slow down a little bit. I'm not possessed or on drugs – I really can't type that fast! Lol.

Thanks to those who have reviewed already, it means a lot. So, if you read, please review!


	7. Make Or Break

**Chapter 7: Make Or Break**

And so it was Sunday the 31st August. Rosie was awake and listening to the sounds of Severus Snape moving around the house. He was not in a hurry, yet he was making no particular effort to keep the noise of his movements down. Rosie was almost sure that he was doing deliberately, though she knew that this was not the case; he was just angry.

Rosie was dismayed to find that he was not in when she had returned from London. He got home in the early hours of the morning; Rosie knew this because he was drunk. He staggered up the stairs, stumbling and falling on every step he took. Rosie was sure that by the time he was in bed he would be black and blue.

Though he seemed mobile enough this morning, he was not stupid. He was bound to have a hangover cure somewhere in the house and was probably now suffering from a slight headache.

Rosie was waiting for the right moment; she hadn't spoken to Severus at all since yesterday morning – practically twenty-four hours. She heard Severus clatter down the steps and into the kitchen. She heard the refrigerator door bang shut, then she heard a milk bottle shatter and heard Severus scream a few curses.

But she couldn't get up yet – Rosie couldn't. She had to wait until Severus was about to leave and then follow him to the station where she would confess her love. Luckily Severus was an early bird, he was bound to be at the train station at least half and hour early, which would save her running down the platform with his head poking out of the window – she didn't have the energy.

Looking at the clock she found that it was eight o'clock – that meant that there was only an hour until the train left. Severus would be Apparating in about twenty minutes, Rosie had wondered why, if Severus could Apparate to the station he couldn't just Apparate to Hogwarts, but apparently he liked train journeys and enjoyed reading and relaxing while he awaited his so called doom. I suppose it made sense; he had a year of teaching ahead of him after all.

Rosie got up quietly and made her way to the bathroom. She had washed last night so all she had to was brush her teeth and get dressed. After she had got ready she crept back into her room and out on some freshly laundered clothes. Then she waited until she heard Severus move towards the front door. He heartbeat quickened and then she heard the door slam and she knew that Severus had gone.

She really had hurt him.

She rushed downstairs and grabbed a coat and a biscuit, then she hurtled out into the road and Apparated to just outside King's Cross. She could see Severus ahead of her, dressed in black with a suitcase and several bags of what she knew contained shrunken cauldrons and essays.

She went in about five minutes after him and made her way to the ticket barrier. She leant casually against it and checked her watch; it was half past eight – only half an hour to go.

Severus was there ahead of her. He had put down his luggage and was checking his own watch. The train was already there, belching black smoke onto the platform. Rosie watched as Severus marched onto the train with his suitcases and luggage. He looked back at the platform as he climbed on the train, almost as though he was looking for someone, but then he scowled and stormed into a free compartment.

The platform was now deserted and Rosie wondered if any other people would be taking the train. She had seen a few people jostling to get on a few minutes earlier but now there was no one. This looked like the perfect time to see Severus. Rosie took a deep breath, as though preparing for a swim underwater, and walked forward onto the exposed platform.

She could see Severus' head through the window, though he didn't see her. His head was bent forward and some of his black hair was flopping into his face, she thought that he looked particularly gorgeous like that. He was bent over something, with a look of concentration and Rosie was sure that he was reading a book – he was always reading something or other. He had a fondness for Muggle literature; Rosie was shocked to find that he liked the book 'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte.

Rosie was now at the entrance of Severus' carriage. There was nobody else on board, _Great, well, here goes nothing._

Rosie climbed on board and moved towards his compartment. He was indeed reading a book and he still hadn't noticed her. Rosie's heart was thumping, she hadn't even thought what to say to him, she had been so nervous that she had completely forgotten that some talking would be involved in her confessing her undying affections.

_Still, I can't go back now – I have to know._

She reached forward and slid the compartment door open. It creaked ever so slightly and Severus looked up. He looked shocked and put the book down but did not speak. Rosie shut the door to the compartment and sat down opposite him, she didn't know how to begin – just seeing him made her feel nervous, her legs were like jelly. She _couldn't _tell him – but she was so close.

"You left without saying goodbye," Rosie said.

"You had no intention of bidding _me_ farewell when you took Mr Lupin out to London. Where did you go by the way? The Zoo?"

Rosie was slightly shaken by his coldness, she had expected him to shout and tell her to go away. In some ways the lack of feeling was almost worse, but she ploughed on.

"We went to the Tower of London. It was good, but I'd've rather gone with you."

"What a pity it slipped your mind," he said acidly.

"It was an honest mistake, you could've reminded me."

"So it's my fault now is it?" he asked, a note of anger in his voice now.

"I didn't say that. Sev, this is so trivial, why can't we-"

"Trivial – yes, indeed it is! The subject matter is indeed trivial. But the reasons behind it are not. You clearly bare no thought for me," he said as though fighting to gain control of his emotions, his nostrils were flared and there was a nasty glint in his eye.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh, why don't you just leave? Why can't you just admit that it was your fault?"

"I just have! For God's sake – we're – all I want is for you to forgive me! Is that so hard?"

"What you did hurt me," he said and then stopped. It seemed as though he hadn't meant to say it.

"Why did it h-"

"Can you leave?" he said forcefully, standing up and moving towards the compartment door. "Now?"

It wasn't really a question so Rosie stood up and walked past him. He made to open the compartment door but Rosie put her hand on his and stopped him.

"No, wait a moment. I want to say something to you."

He considered her, removed his hand from her grasp and then said waspishly, "Make it quick won't you."

Rosie sighed. "I don't know how you'll react-"

"Probably badly. Everything else you've done has pissed me off."

"Shut it! Just listen! Look, I'm really sorry about London, I am, but I can't change what happened as much as I'd like to. I'm sorry about touching you – but I was just trying to find out-" she broke off looking at him.

His brow was furrowed and he asked softly. "What were you trying to find out?"

"I wanted to know if – oh, sod it," she finished. She lent up and put her lips to his. She felt him pull back in surprise and she knew that his eyebrows would be raised. His lips felt soft and pliable beneath hers, but he did not kiss her back, he just stood there motionless.

She broke away from him and took a step back. "I never meant to hurt you Severus, in fact quite the opposite. I think – no, you'll read too much into that – I _know _that I'm in love with you."

He stared at her indifferently for what seemed the longest time. Rosie felt rejected and felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered, I'll go."

She turned and walked out of the carriage, she had expected – almost hoped – that Severus would coming running after her and sweep her off her feet, but he never came. As she got of the train and on to the dirty platform she heard the whistle blow and she knew that the train was about to pull away from the station. She stopped and turned around; Severus was watching her from the carriage window. He looked miserable, his hand was propped against the glass in a fist as if he was going to wave but had thought the better of it.

Rosie couldn't help it, she started to cry, she felt more dispirited than ever. She had been so sure that Severus returned her feelings but he clearly didn't, he felt nothing and now he was probably embarrassed and angry with her. It would have been better had she said nothing at all. Tears were now running freely down her face and the train began to move away from the station and her.

She looked up a last time and saw Severus still staring at her; he looked as miserable as she felt. As the train began to pick up speed Rosie mouthed, "I love you," at him. He opened him mouth and mouthed something back to her, but Rosie did not know what he had said.

"What?" she shouted, running down the platform slightly. Severus mouthed it again but Rosie couldn't make it out. This was so _frustrating! _

"WHAT?" she shouted louder, realising that her time was running short. Severus' shoulders slumped slightly as he gave up trying to tell her that he would miss her. He shook his head, admitting defeat – Rosie did not have a clue what he had said to her. He brought up his hand sadly and waved at her. She stopped running and waved back at him, tears streaming down her face.

As the train rounded the corner and Rosie went out of sight Severus turned around and sat heavily onto the train seat.

"Damn," he muttered. He was so stupid, she had just confessed her love and he hadn't said anything. Even when she got off the train he hadn't even tried to stop her.

"Why didn't I?" he couldn't answer himself, there was no logical reason, he had just made one of the biggest mistakes of his life, bar being a Death Eater. She was gone and she didn't even know that he loved her back just as much. She probably thought that he hated her and that he was embarrassed that she had kissed him. In truth he was simply stunned that someone as beautiful and wonderful as she was could ever love him.

But no doubt there would be plenty of other men waiting for her – Remus Lupin for one. Severus sighed deeply, by the time he saw her again she would have met another man and Severus would be left alone. She would probably move house and leave him forever.

Why hadn't he just told her? Stopped her? Anything! Severus kicked the table angrily and thought, _She's probably not upset at all. She's probably getting over me already._

He rested his head on the back of the seat, realising for the first time that there were tears in his own eyes.

A/N: Sorry it's been a while, real life has been fairly hectic at the moment. More updates should be coming soon. If you read, please review!


	8. The Solution

**Chapter 8: The Solution**

The journey to Hogwarts was uneventful, except for Severus thinking about what had happened between him and Rosie. The train was fairly empty and nobody except the witch with the food trolley disturbed him on his way.

The silence gave Severus the perfect opportunity to reflect. Rosie had kissed him and told him that she loved him. Severus was shocked; he had wanted it to happen; he had imagined her wrapping her arms round his neck and whispering her love against his lips, but those had been fantasies; he could never have imagined that she might actually feel anything for him.

Severus did not believe that Rosie had lied to him about her love. However he did not fully believe that she would feel the same way when he next saw her.

He felt like an idiot. _How hard would it have been just to tell how you feel? _Severus didn't fully understand why he had clamed up. Well, he had an inkling.

People fell in and out of love all the time. Whatever Rosie felt could change, however Severus knew that what he felt would never change; he had never been 'in love' before and so couldn't see it happening again. If Severus opened his heart to her and they became – he shivered at the thought – a couple, then he would be ecstatic. But what if Rosie decided later on that she did not really love him at all – Severus would be left alone, yet again. At least if they were simply friends then that could never happen.

But were they friends anymore? Rosie was crying by the end of her confession – Severus had hurt her worse than she had hurt him. Maybe she would feel that it wasn't worth it – especially if she moved on to another man.

So Severus began to convince himself that Rosie no longer loved him and that there was no longer any friendship between them. It is amazing what can happen if you over analyse everything, if you think too much. Severus was certainly guilty of thinking too much, if he had just for once thought and acted with his heart the only pain that Rosie and Severus would be feeling now would be the pain of leaving a loved one behind.

Instead both parties were miserable.

The train pulled up outside Hogsmede station and Severus collected his belongings and left the train. He now felt even more miserable. Not only was there no Rosie, but there was a whole year ahead of him which consisted of him teaching moronic children how to brew potions.

He made his way up to the castle in a bumpy Thestral-drawn carriage – he had been able to see them ever since he had returned to Hogwarts as a teacher, how he wished he couldn't.

He walked into the Entrance Hall and was just about to retreat down the staircase that led to the Dungeons when he heard a female voice calling him.

"Severus! Severus! How are you?"

He turned around and saw Minerva McGonagall striding towards him. Despite his sadness and his appalling mood he was comforted somewhat to see McGonagall. She was as close as Severus had to a friend, she was always caring and friendly (in her own way) to him and he did appreciate it. She was firm on him, and did annoy him with her strictness for things being done properly. But, as irascible as she was she was always a familiar sight.

"Hello, Minerva. I am well thank you. How was the holidays?"

"Oh, very pleasurable. I went to Devon for a week," she frowned at him critically. "Are you sure you're well? You look pale."

"I'm fine thank you Minerva," he said rather brusquely.

"Don't start Severus, I'm only concerned for you."

"You're bloody interfering, that's all you are!"

Minerva sighed and pursed her lips. A change of subject was obviously in order. "So, how is Rosie? We're all dying to hear!"

"Pardon?" said Severus, not daring to believe the audacity of the woman.

"How are you and Rosie?"

"She's fine, and, as I have already informed you, so am I."

"No, no. How's the situation between the pair of you?" Severus knew exactly what she wanted to know but he wasn't going to give in that easily.

"We're housemates."

"But you'd like it to be more wouldn't you?"

"We can't always have what we want," said Severus and he left Minerva and went down to the solitude of his Dungeon office.

Back at the top of the stairs Minerva muttered, "Oh dear."

The week progressed normally. Severus taught classes just as he usually did. There was nothing special except for his heightened blood pressure and decreased tolerance for anything below perfect. In fact by the end of the week he had reduced two girls and a Slytherin boy to tears.

At break time on the third week of term Severus banged into the staffroom and sat down in his chair in the corner of the room.

Minerva was already in her seat and was surveying him through her square-rimmed spectacles holding a mug of tea in one hand.

"Classes well behaved today then Severus?" she asked.

"They're quickly learning. If only they showed the same aptitude to Potions," he remarked examining his fingernails.

"Oh, stop being so stupid! What has happened to you? You've always been somewhat strict – over strict in other people's opinion but-"

"Over strict in _your _opinion," Severus said.

"All right then, _my_ opinion, but you've always been consistently and predictably biased." Severus glared at her. "You've never caused a Slytherin to cry before."

"So you criticise when I'm unfair and now you're dissatisfied when I _am_?"

"It's not about that though is it?"

"Oh, pray, do enlighten me!" sneered Severus.

"It's you and Rosie. What happened? And don't back out of this one, you're not going until you tell me everything."

Severus sighed admitting defeat. If he was honest with himself he did want to get it off his chest. He could trust Minerva.

"She confessed her love," he said heavily, leaning back in his chair.

"And the problem created is?"

"I didn't tell her how I felt back. I was getting on the train and she came on board and – kissed me, I don't know, I froze – she left and I didn't go back to her. I tried to shout it to her out the window but she couldn't tell what I was saying."

"Well, why can't you just simply write and tell her that you're sorry and that you do love her?"

"Because," he said, "because she probably doesn't love me anymore," he flushed feeling immensely stupid.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. Why would she fall out of love so quickly?"

"How on Earth should I know? When have I had a lasting relationship – never! I've never had a _relationship_ for Chist's sake!"

"And?"

"What if she falls out of love with me? It happens doesn't it? I can't-" he stopped talking. He couldn't admit what he felt.

"You can tell me Severus, you can trust me."

"I can't let myself be hurt again," he muttered to his feet. "It's happened all my life; James Potter, my father, my mother – I can't let it be Rosie, I can't."

Minerva looked saddened and sniffed. "Severus, for once in your life just take a risk. What's the worst that can happen? She won't reject you. If you don't tell her you'll have a life of regret. And, yes, maybe you will break up – but isn't it better to have loved and lost than not loved at all?"

"Don't quote that pile of tripe on me."

"But it's true – at least you'll have her for the time being and isn't that what matters? If you don't you'll always wonder. Anyway," a bell rang overhead. "I must get to my class, as you must yours."

Severus nodded and stood up. Minerva walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her. Severus hugged back, feeling as he did that he owed Rosie for this – he'd never have let people touch him before, let alone hug him.

"Severus, do what's best," she said and she left him.

Months passed. September became October, October became November, November became December...and still Severus had not written to Rosie.

He had waited to see if she would make the first move, but she hadn't and now that Severus had waited so long he couldn't bring himself to write her the letter. It seemed as if he had missed the boat.

Meanwhile Rosie was in a depressed state. She had sent letters to Alina, desperately trying to find some comfort. She was upset that Severus had not written to her, but not surprised; why would he when he was clearly embarrassed with the whole situation?

Rosie had considered writing to him but Alina had forbidden her – _If he's going to be like that then a not won't change anything – especially seeing as you've already told him how you feel! Don't give up!_

Rosie had almost ignored her advice and had written a short note to Severus asking how he was and how the year was going. But she hadn't sent it for she feared that he would not write back – that would be an awful rejection.

Then one evening as Severus sat in his cold office he could bear it no longer. Minerva had berated him once again about being a coward and how he was letting his life slip through his fingers because of pride and Severus found himself agreeing with her. He was being cowardly, it was stupid, she wouldn't make the 'first move' because she already had!

Severus reached into once of his desk drawers and took out some parchment and a quill pen. He dipped the quill into some black ink and wrote the words that she didn't hear on the 31st August:

_I miss you._

He rolled up the parchment and ran up to the Owlery. He didn't bother to stop even though he had a stitch, because he knew that he might lose his nerve. And what was this pain anyway, for a life of gain?

He rushed into the room and called for his owl. It swooped down onto his shoulder and Severus tied the scroll to its leg. Then he motioned for the owl to fly and it obeyed, flying out of the window and into the night sky.

Now all he had to do was wait for her reply.

**A/N: **Dear me, it's been a while. I am very sorry to those who have been waiting. It would be great to have some more reviews. I don't mind what you say, how you say it, or what it's about – just as long as it's some feedback.


	9. Slammed Back in your Face

**Chapter 9: Slammed Back in your Face**

Rosie looked out of the kitchen to try and determine where the scratching noise was coming from. It didn't really sound like it was coming from upstairs, so therefore it must be coming from downstairs. It was also indistinguishable as to whether it was outside or inside.

Rosie wasn't worried by the noise – it wasn't unusual to hear an unusual sound, or in the case of her cooking, smell an unusual smell. However Rosie was curious as to what it was, she listened intently – there it was again, scratching, like claws.

Maybe it's the cats, thought Rosie and she moved into the lounge. No, the cats were nowhere to be seen. She turned around to leave when a movement at the window caused her heart to leap. There was an owl at the window,

"Oh, for God's sake!" she exclaimed, holding a hand to her heart, movements at the corner of her eye always scared the living daylights out of her. "It's only an owl!"

She marched to the window and opened it, letting the bird fly. It perched of the sofa opposite the fireplace, where Severus always preferred to sit. Rosie's heart lurched at the thought of him – there had been no word from him since the last day of the holidays.

She sat down by the owl and tugged the letter out from its claws. It hooted in a calming sort of way and Rosie realised who it was – it was Asriel. Severus' owl. Rosie's heart rate increased and she could feel the blood pounding in her fingertips.

She ripped the envelope apart and found a piece of parchment folded over in half. She took it out from the remains of the envelope and sat there looking at it. Whatever Severus felt would be on the page, she was sure of it, she had never been surer of anything in her life. She also knew that she had never been more nervous opening a letter.

Rosie unfolded the parchment a gazed at it. To her small surprise there was only a single sentence scrawled on the parchment in the centre of the page, however the words that were written sent a shiver down her spine:

_I miss you._

A broad grin spread across Rosie's face. She gazed, transfixed at his small, untidy writing and felt happy. He missed her. That was all she needed. Looking around she found a pen. She picked it up and turned over the parchment on which Severus had written to her. The pen was poised above the page but suddenly, after that warm glow of Severus' cramped handwriting appearing on a piece of parchment in front her, she felt that she didn't want to write to him after all.

Was she being stupid? She thought that possibly she was being trivial, but Severus _had _hurt her. He probably hadn't meant to – not really – but he had nevertheless. He had decided not to say anything the day that she had confessed her feelings. Severus had been the one to ignore her and decide to be cold and uncaring. What did it matter to her that he had now decided to tell her that he missed her? And what did that mean anyway? He missed her. So what? Did that mean that he loved her? That he wanted to be with her? Rosie frowned and put down the parchment and the pen. She got up slowly and looked around the room. This was her home. She didn't want to lose it. Could they honestly live together with that kind of confession floating in the air? Did it even bother her?

Later that day Rosie walked down a street that had once been so familiar to her when she had lived in her previous bedsit rented to her by the landlord from Hell. She walked towards a Post Office where a woman named Mrs Smith worked. She had always been a friendly, advisory person to Rosie and although they were never in contact outside of the Post Office, Rosie for some inexplicable reason felt that she could talk to Mrs Smith.

Opening the door, she stepped in from the cold and looked around. There was a man at the counter talking to Mrs Smith and paying her some money for an Owl. Rosie grinned at the Post Lady who looked back at her with a shock of recognition and waved cheerily. After the man had walked past her and given her a fleeting smile (which she returned), Rosie made her way up to the counter.

"Hello, dear," said Mrs Smith warmly, "how can I help?"

Rosie sighed, "Okay, this is really random and you're probably not in the mood – I mean, this is your business after all."

Mrs Smith frowned, "Yes?"

"I have something to talk to you about – don't ask why I've come here – you always seem to give good advice," Mrs Smith looked confused so she hurried on, "My new housemate-"

"Oh no!" cried Mrs Smith with a smile as she covered her eyes with her hands. "Don't tell me! He's evil! Makes you pay extortionate rent prices!"

Rosie laughed, "No actually," she said mock seriously. "I'm in love with him."

"What?" asked Mrs Smith.

"I'm in love with him – oh, and yes, he is _that teacher _from Hogwarts," she added, remembering their previous conversation just before she had moved in with Severus.

"Oh dear," she replied. "Look," she glanced out of the shop window. "It's not very busy. Come into the back of the shop and have a cup of tea with me."

"Thanks," said Rosie appreciatively.

They moved through a little door into a room at the back of the shop. It was full of old boxes and piles of letters waiting to be sent. There were a few chairs in the middle of the room and Rosie and Mrs Smith sat down. Mrs Smith conjured a teapot from a cupboard and made them both cups of tea. They drank in silence for a few moments before the shop owner said,

"So, tell me, what's all this about you fancying Mr Housemate?"

"Well, when I met him I just felt like – I don't really know – I get the impression that he's not very sociable. I've never met any friends of his, for instance. But we just hit it off, you know? Immediately we were chatting like there was no problem, like we were _meant _to live together. And then, over time, I grew to love him. There was the initial attraction, but then – there was the one night when he really opened up to me. He told me some things that I don't think he'd told anyone. I felt privileged and I realised that I liked being the person that he turned to for advice and comfort. Not only was he gorgeous, but trusting and – God, I'm in love!" she finished dramatically.

Mrs Smith smiled warmly, "It sounds like it, dear. So, what's the matter? Why did you need to come here?"

"Well," said Rosie feeling slightly bashful suddenly. "As you said, he's that teacher. Professor Snape. He's just gone back to school and on the day he was due to return I decided to confess my feelings. He was getting on the train and I went aboard. It was really awkward because, you see, we'd had an argument – I was supposed to go somewhere with him but I totally forgot and made plans with someone else – anyway, it was all really trivial but it hurt him, and so he didn't really want to speak to me at all. I ended up kissing him rather than telling him that I loved him and he just went completely rigid. He didn't say anything, so then I got off the train and he just stayed on board and watched me out of the window. He didn't look miserable at all, just stoic, you know? I felt like such an idiot. I'd just moved in with this man and I'd buggered it up."

"So now you don't know what to do? Whether to see if you can patch things up?"

"Well, no," said Rosie with a smile. "You see, he mouthed something at me as the train departed, but I couldn't hear what he was saying or lip read. I just assumed that he was being a bit of a rude bugger and I forgot about when I got home. But _then,_" Rosie emphasised, "I got this letter the other day." She smiled. "I think that he wrote to me what he wanted to say that day."

"What did he say?" prompted Mrs Smith.

"I miss you," said Rosie. "That was it."

"Aw," sighed Mrs Smith. "That's adorable. I wouldn't have expected it of him – from what I've heard."

"Oh? What have you heard?" asked Rosie, grinning.

"I have some friends who's grandchildren go to Hogwarts now. They don't like him much. They tell _me _that he's a biased old git! Something about him always taking off points from anyone but the Slytherin's."

"Yeah," said Rosie laughing, "that sounds like him!"

"Oh, I see," said Mrs Smith. "Are you sure that he's _the One?_"

"Well," replied Rosie thoughtfully, "I'm not sure I believe in all that _The One _stuff anyway – but I do love him, a lot. But," continued Rosie. "That's not the point. What do I do? Do I reply? I mean, I was going to but then I thought about it and I became angry with him. It's so easy for him to say that, you know? He didn't even have the gall to come and tell me personally."

"Maybe that's just because he feels ashamed of how he behaved? Perhaps he feels guilty and can't bring himself to face the fact that you might not be in love with him any more."

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, from what you've told me about him it seems that he's just a _tad _insecure! I think that maybe he feels that you've already moved on from him and that's why it took so long for him to reply."

"Do you really think so?"

"I do."

"Then I'm being a bit bitchy!" smiled Rosie. "I think that I should just being stubborn and tell him that I love him."

"No!" cried Mrs Smith. "Don't just say that you love him! What was it he wrote to you again? That one sentence."

"Oh, I miss you," replied Rosie.

"Well then, write something similar back! Oh, I don't know, how about ..."

"Come home then?" finished Rosie.

Mrs Smith laughed and grinned. "That's it! Write that to him! No, seriously!" she added at Rosie's sceptical look. "He has you're sense of humour?" Rosie nodded. "Then why not? It's a parody, it's fun _and _it true. Go on!" she said standing up and ushering Rosie out of the shop; they had both heard the bell from inside the shop and they both knew that someone was waiting to be served. They entered the front of the Post Office and Rosie bade farewell to Mrs Smith before walking past the old lady customer and opening the door. Mrs Smith called to her as she made to exit,

"Write to me and let me know what happens!"

"Will do!" replied Rosie before Apparating back to her house and phrasing her letter to Severus.

It was the last week of school and Severus was becoming concerned, his owl had not returned. He had sent the letter three days ago and it only had to travel to London. He sat in his office, staring grimly at the fire when a knock at the door disturbed his silence.

"Enter," he called.

"Severus," it was Minerva McGonagall, dressed in her tartan dressing gown and holding a letter in her right hand. "Your owl turned up this morning, seems that the cold got to it I'm afraid. Hagrid's got him, he'll be all right."

"You left my owl with Hagrid and you think that he will be all right?" Severus enquired with a raised eyebrow.

Minerva smiled slightly. "Here," she said, handing him the letter. "It's only just thawed out!"

She turned on her heel and left his office. Severus glanced down at the note. There was no name on it. Frowning Severus took it gingerly and opened it. He looked down and felt a pang; his own words were staring back at him, the one's he had written to Rosie three days ago. He sighed; Rosie clearly did not want to know. That at least settled the question of whether he would be going home for the season of festivities.

He felt incredibly stupid, like a lovesick fool. He wished that he could retract the letter, but he knew that there was no point in wishing, what was done was done. At least he could savour the bittersweet pleasure of being right; Rosie had indeed moved on. If only he had spoken his mind and his heart when they had last met then maybe this would not be the case.

But then, reasoned Severus, if she has moved on so quickly, her feelings were indeed not real. At least, not continuous. Maybe in some way he had cheated his heart, but then he had least saved himself a far greater pain. Love is a most curious thing.

Severus yawned, stretching his arms. He had been marking all evening, he was tired and bored. He moved the potions essays to one side and made his way to his quarters. There he got changed into his night-clothes and climbed into bed, but he did not go to bed. He sat there for an hour or more reading Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. What other reminders did he need that the path of true love never did run smooth?

Severus woke the next morning and despite his reasoning and rational behaviour last night he felt depressed and rejected, like he had been shut out of a cold night. He swung himself out of bed and got showered and changed and ready for another school day. He walked into the Great Hall thirty minutes before the great rush of students. The only people there were a few freaky children who had decided to brave the cold of the corridors in search of food and Minerva McGonagall – oh what a surprise!

"Morning Severus – fancy seeing you at this hour!" she said looking over her glasses at him.

He sat down beside her and pulled a plate of toast before him, he began to butter his toast and layer it with jam as he replied dryly,

"Yes, indeed. What a coincidence."

"As much as you mistrust me I do not spend my time stalking you Severus – I have much better things to do with my time."

"Yes, like stalking Albus."

"Don't be ridiculous!" Severus shrugged; he loved teasing her – almost as much as everyone else took pleasure in teasing him. It was teasing for Severus, which was a mark of friendship, it wasn't goading or threatening or bullying – it was fun.

"So," she continued, "what did the letter say?"

"What business is it of yours?" he said, biting off a chunk of toast.

"Was it from Rosie?"

"Don't you ever learn to give up?"

"Did she tell you that she forgives you?" she asked ignoring his comment, Severus was always difficult on such matters.

"Don't you ever get tired of being wrong?" he spat.

"Why would I be wrong? I assumed that she had written to you to say-"

"Well you assumed incorrectly. If you must know, she sent the letter back to me – unchanged," he finished heavily.

"She sent you your letter back? But I thought-"

"I had hoped the same, but apparently not. She doesn't love me, I doubt she ever did."

"Nonsense. She's probably angry with you still. Yes that's it!" though she seemed to be trying to convince herself.

"Why can't you just admit that you are wrong?" he said standing up.

"Why can't you?" she asked tartly.

"I have." He left the hall quickly and returned to the solitude of the dungeons. Minerva meanwhile, was walking back to her office to write a letter to Rosie, she didn't understand her attitude. She wasn't Severus; she wasn't one to hold grudges. She could imagine Severus sending someone back the same letter that they had written but that was a bit vindictive and bitter to be Rosie.

Minerva entered her study and pulled some parchment towards her. She rearranged her spectacles and thought for a moment before putting pen to paper.

_Dear Rosie,_

_You may be slightly surprised to receive a letter from me but I am writing on Severus' behalf about the pair of you. I have received word of the letter that you sent back to Severus. Frankly, I am more than a little surprised at you. I always thought of you as an intelligent, grounded woman, not one to hold grudges or retaliate with vindictive gestures. _

_I realise that Severus, as usual, was his foolish, irrational self and I can assure you that he feels as upset about the events of that train journey as you do. I really do believe that he cares for you deeply, I won't say love as that is for him to confess, but I don't think that his not responding to your advances was due to any lack of enthusiasm on his behalf. He really does care for you and whilst I can understand the annoyance I don't condone that method of showing it. Perhaps in future it would be best to tell him how things stand rather than sending him back a letter that he sent to you confessing his deepest feelings unchanged. You of all people must know how insecure he is._

_Yours truly,_

_Minerva McGonagall _

Minerva had to wait a few days until the letter from Rosie arrived, in fact it was two days before they broke up for Christmas. Minerva received a note and she realised who it would be from. She hadn't told Severus that she had written to Rosie as he would see it as interfering, which it was.

She took the letter back to her office and sat down behind her desk. She waited as few minutes, trying to guess what Rosie would have to say on the subject.

She unfolded the letter and read,

_Dear Minerva,_

_Thank you for the letter and I hope that all is well at the 'hell hole' as Severus so eloquently put it. And on the subject of Severus, I was most surprised when it was you who wrote to me the other day and not the man himself. It took me a good while to work out what must have happened as the letter, at first, did not seem to have any correspondence to the letter that I sent to Severus._

_Then I realised. I did indeed send a reply to the note that Severus sent me but it was after a long discussion with a friend of mine. You are quite correct, I was annoyed slightly at first with him but you are also correct in your assumption that I am not one to hold grudges for long. I do indeed know how insecure he is, so much so that I have no hesitation in admitting that I love him, very much. The reply that I sent to Severus in regards to the letter that he sent me was on the back of the original parchment. The only explanation that I have is that Severus simply was expecting to be turned down and failed to turn over the paper. It seems a fairly logical explanation to me. _

_If you could pass on the message I would be most grateful and thank you for telling me what had happened, I would hate him to think that there was a rift between us and I am glad to have been able to clear the problem up._

_I must stop writing now, I have been reading Jane Austen recently and feel as though I am slowly slipping into the realms of Regency. _

_Have a Merry Christmas (and tell Severus to come home!)_

_Rosie Watermouth _

Minerva pursed her lips. _Typical. He didn't even check the back of the letter – led me on a wild goose chase. I look like a fool._

"Severus," she muttered angrily. Minerva rushed down to the dungeons as quick as she could. She had to tell Severus and although he probably wouldn't be pleased at her contact with Rosie without him knowing he would definitely be mollified when he read the back of the damned page!

She knocked on the door and entered without waiting.

"You may come in," he drawled at her from his desk.

"I won't trouble you Severus for a great amount of time-"

"Ah, I see that you've realised how precious my time is."

Minerva ignored him and ploughed on, "In regards to the letter, I wrote to Rosie – _don't _start," she added seeing his face. "Her advice to you, concerning the letter was to look on the other side."

Severus looked gobsmacked; he stared at her wide-eyed.

"You haven't checked have you? Thought not. I'll see myself out shall I?" she left the room smiling.

When the office door closed behind Minerva, Severus leapt to his feet. How could he have been so stupid? But there was relief as well, she _had _written to him! She had made a reply!

He rummaged through his desk drawers until he found the letter. He laid it out on the desk and smoothed it flat. He could see his words on the pages, shining out at him. He turned the note over with slightly shaking hands and found a sentence back from Rosie:

_Come home then._

Severus smiled. She wanted him to come home, he knew that she was being light-hearted but who cared? She didn't hate him! Severus grabbed some Floo powder, jumped into his fire and went straight to Minerva's room. He thanked her for her interfering – which must have been a sign of happiness – and informed her that he would be going home for Christmas.

Later that night Severus was quickly packing his bags to go home. Luckily there wasn't really much to take, only clothes and underwear and toiletries. For the first time in a long life of misery he was looking forward to going home.

The next day of teaching was like a slow form of torture. The day snailed by and Severus was finding it increasingly difficult to be nasty to the students. So instead he made them do incredibly dull work from a textbook so he could let his mind wander.

He would be seeing her today, this evening. He wondered what it would be like, he wasn't one of those people who ran down train platforms in slow motion with sad music playing in the background. Maybe he should get her flowers?

_Oh my God, _thought Severus with a grimace. _What is happening to me? I'm becoming everything I've ever hated! _

In the end Severus decided that just simply turning up would suffice, after all Rosie didn't know he was coming home.

(End chap)

**A/N: **Author syndrome, I hate that chapter. If you agree or disagree, please let me know! Thanks to you who have already reviewed, you make my day.


	10. Finally

**Chapter 10: Finally**

The evening came and Severus left the castle wearing his Muggle finest – black shirt, trousers and shoes. He had also procured a long black coat from the back of the wardrobe, he had bought it a year or two ago but there had never really been any need for it – cloaks were warm enough. The reason he had bought it was that he liked long black coats, there was something smart about them. They certainly suited his persona.

He got onto the train bound for London and waited impatiently for it to depart. The train journey was slow and cumbersome, the carriage bounced along the track with a loud noise. Severus found it hard to relax, he reasoned that he would have found it hard anyway but that the uncomfortable journey was helping none whatsoever.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, the most logical solution to his problem popped into his head; Apparate. What a complete imbecile he thought to himself, why didn't I think of that earlier. He stood at the end of the carriage and thought hard of home and Rosie, then with a pop he vanished.

Severus seconds later he arrived outside their house in London. _Their _house, not just Severus' anymore.

He made his way up the garden path which had been smartened since his departure in September. Rosie had always complained that it was too untidy. He reached the door and took out his wand, he wanted it to be a surprise, getting out keys would make a noise, besides this way was easier.

The door clicked open and Severus walked into the hall. He closed the door quietly; he could hear the TV blazing in the sitting room. He deposited his bag on the hall floor and hung his coat on the rack. The house was lovely and warm and Severus could smell Rosie's sent, that indescribable something that made her so special.

He edged towards the door and saw that she was sitting in his favourite seat, opposite the fire. The remote control was on the arm of the sofa and Severus bent forward and grabbed it – thankfully, Rosie did not see him. He then straightened up and wondered what was about to happen.

He turned the television off. Rosie jumped and looked surprised.

"What the-" she said, she lent for the remote but found that it wasn't there. She looked round and saw Severus standing in the doorway staring down at her.

"Sev," she said quietly standing up. He put the remote back in its place and walked slowly further into the room until he was standing directly in front of her.

"I missed you," he whispered.

"Oh," was the only sound Rosie came out with. She flung her arms round Severus, hugging him to her. She felt his arms encircle round her, making her feel safe and protected. She knew that he was all right with her contact, the stress and joy and sadness of everything that had happened bubbled to the surface and she cried into his shirt.

She could smell his aftershave and knew that this time he was here to stay. He felt warm – he was a real person and he was here! Not just an idle dream – he was _here. _

"Rosie," he said, breaking away from her so that he could look down, "what's wrong?"

She sat down and laughed, pulling him on the seat next to her. "Nothing Sev, I'm just emotional."

He nodded and looked away from her. "So," she said. "You got my note?"

Severus grinned and turned to her again. "Yes, finally. I'm an idiot Rosie. I'm so sorry about what happened that day. I should have told you how I felt but I was too scared."

Rosie looked at him, wondering if she should ask what she dearly wanted to know. "And how do you feel?"

Severus tensed suddenly and looked at her. "I – I," he faltered and swallowed, Rosie knew that he found it hard to express his true emotions – God she knew that! "I care for you a great deal Rosie."

Rosie's felt her stomach lurch, that was such a profound statement for him to make. That was as good as anything she could have wished for. She knew, this time, that he loved her – she knew this time that there was nothing standing in her way.

Slowly Rosie leant forward and brushed her lips against his. Severus went rigid, she looked up into his face and saw that his eyes were closed and a small crease had formed between his eyes. She put her lips to his, very slowly – she could sense that this was a very important moment for both of them.

She heard his breath catch and then he readjusted his lips over hers. It was a slow calm kiss, but one full of meaning. Time passed and Rosie made herself feel more comfy, she put her hands and arms around his neck, pulling him towards her. At first he resisted, pulling slightly away from her while not breaking the kiss but then he melted into her and she felt his slim hand on her hips.

She opened her mouth and to her surprise Severus' tongue entered her mouth and hers his. She could taste him, it was wonderful, perfect...so simple.

Rosie brought her hands down to his shirt buttons and began to release them from the buttonholes; at this point Severus jumped, breaking contact.

He looked ... scared. Almost unsure of what he was doing. Rosie knew that he wasn't comfortable with his appearance, knew that he wasn't confident about himself full stop. She knew that he didn't have many friends and didn't let people into his life easily but Rosie also knew how she felt about this man. She needed him, she wanted to show him how much he meant to her.

"Rosie, I – I'm not sure that I-" he began.

"Sssh, don't worry, I'm here for you." Rosie said softly. For some reason he tensed more and Rosie knew she was losing him.

"This – I can't-"

"Sev?" Rosie looked up at him, tightening her hold on him.

"Please, just let go of me!" he looked panicked.

"Severus, don't do this _again!_" Rosie pleaded. "Sev, I need you!"

He stopped and looked down at her. He suddenly seemed comforted, he relaxed and Rosie pushed him back onto the sofa, leaning over him, kissing his neck.

"You're the first person who's ever told me that," he said quietly, Rosie stopped unbuttoning his shirt and looked up at him with a warm smile on her features.

"Really? What – don't do this again?"

"No!" he said indignantly. "'I need you!'"

"I do," she said leaning over him again and capturing his lips with hers. "I love you."

Rosie woke up early next morning in a very comfortable, warm bed next to an even warmer breathing somebody.

Rosie smiled, _Severus_. Finally, after all those months of waiting they were – together? Were they? Or was it just a one-night thing? Rosie began to feel panicked and lifted her head to look over at Severus.

He was sleeping soundly and deeply, his breathing was slow and heavy and his face was relaxed. Rosie couldn't help notice how gorgeous he looked when he was asleep. There was no severe frown on his face, only a rather cute (in Rosie's opinion) groove between his eyebrows where the frown line would form.

He looked so peaceful and at ease that this eased Rosie's own concerns and she began to think sensibly. It had taken him months to tell her how he felt, and even then he had backed away. Even when they had began to kiss the last time – Rosie shivered, remembering how gentle he had been. He was so slow and careful, letting his eyes wash over her – she had almost felt embarrassed at the intensity of his gaze and she realised with a pang how deep his love must have been. He was perfect.

Rosie didn't want to wake him so she carefully got out of bed and made her way downstairs. Curiously she was wearing nightwear, she couldn't remember putting any clothes _on. _Severus must have done it as she fell asleep – it was after all winter and a bloody freezing one at that.

_Aw, you're so sweet! _Rosie thought suddenly, trying to suppress giggles. Half of her wanted to dance around about what they had just done but the other half wanted to savour the moment – she had never woken up before Severus.

Rosie had had an idea, and hopefully it was a good one. Even though she couldn't cook, she reckoned that she could be trusted with making toast and cereal. _At least I don't have to grow the cereal! _Rosie thought and grinned – oh God, the beginnings of a bizarre, hysterical mood. She began to make breakfast, for the two of them. It was her plan to give him breakfast in bed as a surprise. Little did she know that Severus was just waking upstairs and was beginning his own post-sex panic.

Severus opened his eyes blearily and blinked. He felt happy, contented, he hadn't felt like that in – he couldn't actually remember ever feeling like that! He though of Rosie and smiled, he felt the corners of his eyes crease up. He brought up a hand to feel them and found that there were actually small lines at the corners of his eyes – from where he had been smiling! Those had definitely never been there before, he'd never smiled enough – that was all Rosie's doing and he was eternally grateful.

He shifted in under the covers and stretched himself out, feeling the muscles on his legs and shoulders tighten and relax – very satisfying. _Muscles? _Thought Severus. _When have I ever had muscles? I'm bloody scrawny. _

He pulled up the covers and looked down at his legs; they were pale and scrawny and thin. Severus hastily pulled the covers back up again; he hated his appearance. There was _nothing _nice about the way he looked. He was thin and wiry. Whilst some men just looked cool in jeans and T-shirts Severus always felt a complete prat. He didn't look nice in anything; his wrists were too thin and made him look, in his opinion, like a pansy. His legs were – he didn't even need to begin. Ever since that episode in his fifth year with _'The Marauders' _he had been particularly appalled by his appearance. Since then everyone in the whole school knew what a bag of bones he was, he couldn't even lie to himself any more.

But somehow Rosie had seen past his appearance. Severus stopped in his tracks – there _was _nothing beyond his appearance, just a nasty personality. Then he reasoned with himself, _maybe she actually likes the way I look; maybe she actually likes me! _Severus smiled again. _Twice in one day? This is getting serious._

But what on Earth could she like? Severus thought again. He was ugly (maybe she had odd taste) he was sarcastic (maybe she likes sarcasm) he was moody (maybe she was patient) he had been a Death Eater. His stomach dropped – maybe she didn't know.

She didn't know. He hadn't told her; he was going to, last night before she had kissed him and told him she loved him but then he couldn't. He loved her too, though he hadn't told her. He needed and wanted her so much that he wasn't going to deny himself that one moment of happiness. But that had to change, no doubt Rosie wouldn't stay with him once she knew what he had been, but he couldn't keep her in the dark, it wasn't fair.

Severus turned over ready to wake Rosie up; she always slept later than he did. But when he rolled over on his other side he found an empty space next to him. The sheets were creased as though someone had been there but that wasn't enough – there was no Rosie. Severus became panicked; suddenly thoughts were rushing through his head.

_This is just like the others – never there when I woke up. I told her I warned her, how could she-where is she? Oh God – _Severus' stomach had just lurched uncomfortably again, he had just thought of his past. He had been a Death Eater – and what did all Death Eaters' have? Severus looked down at his left forearm and gulped. The Mark, it was there a vivid, sharp black, so clear against the pale skin of his body. He had been naked – of course he'd been naked! He'd slept with Rosie, _and it wasn't half bad either – no, shit don't think about that now! She's seen it, I was unclothed she must have seen it and realised – I wasn't thinking, I didn't have a chance to hide it, now she's gone –_

Just at that moment Severus smelt something from downstairs, something burning – toast? The door opened and Rosie walked in carrying a toppling tray of toast and cereal and juice – and of course an apple.

She sat down on the side of the bed and put the tray down. Severus sighed in relief – she wasn't gone. She was still here, with him. He didn't care about being a Death Eater at this moment; he loved her too much. He suddenly realised that he was shaking with relief. She brushed her hair behind her ear and Severus lent up and kissed her softly on the neck.

"Good morning," he said, his voice lower because of sleep.

"Good morning," she said and smiled softly. "You looked worried when I came in. Anything wrong?"

Severus considered telling her everything, but then found his mouth would not open to omit those facts. He decided on telling her the half-truth. "You weren't next to me when I woke up," he muttered. "I thought you'd gone."

"Severus I live here! I'm hardly likely to just up and leave – not unless I was superwoman."

Severus had a nice image of her in Lycra and he grinned mischievously.

"Why were you worried?" Rosie persisted, looking concerned.

"I told you," he muttered picking up a piece of toast a munching on it before grimacing and putting the remaining slice back on the plate. "Rosie – I think that you may have overdone the toast – just slightly."

"I try," she said sighing and smiling at him gently. "So – are you going to tell me?" she asked stroking his face.

"There's nothing to tell you – nothing that I haven't already," he informed her tensely.

"Why don't I believe you?" she asked pleasantly but Severus knew that she wanted the truth from him. He leant back onto the pillows and closed his eyes, thinking. What would Rosie think if he told her about – the Mark? She'd run a mile. As would anyone else. But then – he didn't have to tell her. Not just yet, anyway. Life was too good. He couldn't go and spoil it again.

"I – need to use the bathroom," he said tersely, getting up and walking rigidly into the en suite. When he was in the room he closed the door firmly and leant his forehead up against the wood of the door. He sighed frustratedly and then thought to himself, _why all this effort? Why not just tell her? _His hand went to the handle of the door but he found that it would only rest on the cold metal. His fingers seemed to have lost their dexterity and would not grip the handle in order to open the door. He couldn't do it – he wouldn't. Taking a step back, Severus sank onto the rim of the bath and held his head in his hands. Why was this so hard?

_Because you love her, _said an annoyingly accurate voice in his head. _Because you know that she'll go and you don't want her to. You want her here forever – with you._

"Shut up," he hissed to himself.

_It wouldn't have mattered if it was one of the others would it? _The voice persisted. _You wouldn't care – they'd know anyway!_

Severus gazed at his left forearm and swallowed. Then suddenly, realisation hit him. He stood bolt upright and conjured a leather cuff out of thin air. He wrapped it around his forearm tightly and stared down at it. It shone almost as brightly as the Mark. Severus shook his head, Rosie wasn't a dunce. She would realise that he was hiding something. Why else would he be wearing such a thick band of leather halfway up his arm?

But then he reasoned to himself – there was nothing better that he could do. He supposed that he could put a plaster on it ... yes, that would be a good excuse to cover the Mark. He waved his wand and substituted his cuff for a larger plaster that he carefully placed over the tattoo. He could claim that he had burnt himself on one of the cauldrons at school – well, it was a logical defence.

Severus walked to the door and opened it carefully, looking down briefly to check that the plaster had not slipped somehow. Rosie frowned at him.

"You were in there a long time," she said with a sort of half-smile on her face. "What on Earth were you doing in there?"

"I didn't know you were so concerned," he replied shooting her a look. He sat down next to her on the bed and noticed that their breakfast had been eaten. "You were hungry I take it?"

"Well since you weren't coming out of that damn room for hours I thought I'd occupy myself," he looked at her. "What? What else could I have done?" she laughed. "I thought you were trying to drown yourself."

"You said that with something like relish," he said quietly, kissing her behind the ear.

"You never know," she said and his mouth made its way down her neck. He leant over her so that he had easier access to her flesh and sighed gently, "I could be a mass murderer," she continued brightly.

Severus stopped, his lip curling. He straightened up. "What?" questioned Rosie. "What have I done now?"

"It's nothing that you've done," he said.

"Oh for God's sake," she huffed taking his hand in hers. "This has got to stop – what is troubling you? I asked you whether you were all right and you've cocooned yourself ever since!"

"I haven't _cocooned _myself," he retorted but then stopped mid-flow at the look on her face. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and grimaced. "Fine – I – when you asked whether I was all right this morning I was just worried that you weren't beside when I woke up," he lied – well, omitted certain truths – he had been worried when Rosie wasn't there in the morning but that wasn't what was bothering him now.

"You told me that already," she said. "And I told you that I wasn't going anywhere."

"I know, but," he looked at the floor. "You see, it's just that every woman that I've ever slept with hasn't been there the next day."

Rosie looked stunned and slightly hurt, "_Slept with, _eh? Just slept with?"

"Well what else did you think that any other woman wanted?" he cried. "It wasn't as if I loved them! I'm not attractive! I never have been – I didn't want to _die _a virgin!"

Rosie felt for him but asked tentatively, "So – am I-"

"You're _very _different. No other woman has ever wanted to know me – full stop. When you weren't here – I put myself on the line – coming back, I mean. This whole thing has been so complicated and when I awoke to find that you'd disappeared I felt like you'd shunned me."

"I would never shun you," she said calmly, kissing him on the nose. "So ... these other women – where did you meet them?"

"Da-" he had been about to say 'Dark Revels' – but wouldn't that just be spelling out to Rosie that he had been a Death Eater? "My Slytherin – my fellow Slytherin's. They all went into Dark things and I was invited along to the after party."

"They just invited you to..." she left the sentence hanging.

"Orgies. Indeed," he said tersely. How vile did this make him seem? "I sound awful, don't I?" Rosie smiled lamely. "I was young – stupid. These _women _were just there in front of us. They weren't there unwillingly – in fact quite the reverse. Half of them were from the years above me anyway!" he half-laughed. "They were after one thing and – and a no-hoper like me? I never thought that I'd meet anyone, as I said. They weren't," he swallowed, "demanding. A quick fuck and they'd be off."

Rosie frowned. "They?" she said. "So, more than one?"

Severus snorted, "More than one," he nodded solemnly. He stopped speaking, there didn't seem to be anything else that he could say. "Appalled by me?"

"No," she said. "Surprised, I suppose."

"You didn't think that I'd loved anyone did you?"

Rosie, though she didn't mention anything, felt stung about the words he had just uttered. Did that mean that he didn't love her? "I hadn't really considered it, Sev," she replied heavily.

"I didn't mean-" he began but Rosie stopped him.

"Look, it doesn't matter. What does it matter to me if you slept with a load of whores?" It was Severus who cut Rosie off this time.

"But – that's what I'm trying to say!" he began, agitated. "You matter to me! They – I don't know what I thought, I knew that I wasn't going to be trotting up the isle with any of them but I still felt resentful that they were never there in the morning! I became bitter that all any of them ever saw me as was a naïve, ugly boy. I was – I never wanted to present myself in that way to you because it tells you that I'm not serious," he paused, "when in fact I am."

Rosie smiled and kissed him. "Thank you," she said.

He nodded back to her, unable to speak. Rosie understood. "I still don't know what you see in me," he said sadly after a while.

"Oh, I don't know. You're sort of sweet."

"_Sweet?_" he repeated, indignant. "I hardly think that surmises my personality!"

Rosie laughed, "I love you," she said. Severus froze, unsure of how to reply. He opened his mouth to speak but Rosie placed a finger to his lips, "Ssh, it doesn't matter." He relaxed slightly. "I think that we need a bath," said Rosie decisively, getting up and sauntering into the en suite. Severus gazed after her. At the door she turned back.

"That's unless you've had enough of this room for one day?" she questioned.

Severus smiled and got up heavily and followed her into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. How could he refuse a bath when it was put so nicely?

A/N: If you read, please review and make your opinions known!


	11. Trouble in Paradise

Chapter 11: Trouble in Paradise 

There was something troubling Rosie. Severus and Rosie had now been together for a week and a half (a short time by even Rosie's standards), they had celebrated Christmas together with a few of Rosie's friends; Morven, Sieg and Roy – neither of them had anywhere else to go.

Severus didn't seem bothered about meeting Rosie's friends; in fact he got on with them. He cooked a magnificent meal, complete with stuffing, bread sauce and the lovely turkey. Severus was of course on the defensive but then again he hadn't made a fuss or complained to Rosie before hand.

However, since the day that Rosie and Severus had first made love, Severus had been very closed with her. It wasn't like he didn't talk to her, there was just something different. He seemed distant, cold, unconcerned. He wouldn't let her hold him for long and he didn't stay in bed in the morning, by seven o'clock he'd be up and about. He'd offer to make the breakfast and then he'd go out for a while (walking, he told her) and come back just as sullen and stony-faced as before.

He spent hours in his study claiming that he had students' papers to mark, but Rosie was sure that he could have spread the load slightly more if he'd wanted to – if indeed there students essays to grade. She was adamant that there was something bothering him. Rosie didn't know what it was, whether it was something that she'd done or whether it was his own personal problem, but she had to find out somehow.

But then every time she asked him whether he was all right, whether there was anything that he needed to tell her he would clam up. He'd look at her for a while but then he would shake his head and kiss her and make some excuse to get away from her.

He was also very touchy about getting dressed or even making love. He didn't seem to like being exposed to Rosie in the way he didn't seem to mind the first time they had slept together. He wasn't entirely relaxed; he didn't seem nearly as intent on the sensations as he should be. Rosie thought that it might be a form of stress, he rarely took his clothes off in her presence as if the idea of exposing himself openly was a horror to him. Rosie wondered whether he actually wanted to be open with her at all.

Severus meanwhile was in a terrible state. He was a coward, he knew it, but he couldn't change it. He couldn't make himself tell Rosie about his past as much as he wanted to.

He knew that he was becoming irritable with her and withdrawn from the world but he didn't know what else to do. He couldn't tell her because he was afraid of losing her for good.

He also found it hard to be intimate with her because he knew that it was the last thing she'd want to do once she found out everything. He did of course give in to Rosie in the end, he would sleep with her or hold her hand or lie next to her by the fire but he was not comfortable with it. He was paranoid when he was unclothed and not because of his appearance. Severus was terrified that she might see his Mark on his arm. He wanted to tell her, not have her find out in that sort of way, Severus didn't think he could take it.

Yet Rosie had noticed his change. She kept asking him whether he was feeling well or if there was anything he wanted to share. He had tried to tell her but he simply couldn't. His mouth would open but no words would come out.

He was trapped in a nightmare. A catch 22 situation. If he told Rosie that he had been a murderous Death Eater then he would lose her for good. Yet, by not telling her the truth, keeping all the secrets from her, he was losing her anyway. She was beginning to give up touching him because she knew he would withdraw, she didn't come looking for him when he went into his study because she knew he would tell her to close the door behind her.

Severus had to tell her. He had to do it. Now. 'Right then, Severus,' he prompted himself. 'Go on, tell her.' He didn't move; he couldn't force himself to.

But he had to. Then on the 27th of December he decided that enough was enough. He led her into the lounge after dinner and sat her down, his pulse racing and his skin damp with perspiration.

"Sit down Rosie. I need to tell you something." Rosie looked at his curiously but he shook his head and gestured for her to sit next to him on the sofa.

Rosie careful sat down next to him and watched him intently. There was definitely something on his mind; she had seen it all week. He seemed distracted and even more irritable than usual. However whatever was on his mind was apparently too hard to put into words. He was sitting hunched, making himself look as small as possible. His head was bowed and his dark hair was falling down in front of his face, obstructing it from view.

"I-I don't-" he began, but then he stopped and shook his head. He turned his face upwards but his eyes would not meet Rosie's.

Rosie was shocked. Severus seemed incredibly distressed – she has never seen him this way. In an effort to soften him she brought out her hand and grasped his, but instead of comforting him he seemed to tense up, to withdraw even more from her. He pulled his hand out of Rosie's reach and sighed heavily. When he spoke Rosie was surprised to hear that his voice was slightly gruff as though his throat was constricted.

"I – I'm glad you're here – with me," he said finally internally cursing himself. His words sounded so absurd and inarticulate.

Rosie laughed with relief – that was it? She thought he was going to tell her something earth shattering. But Severus shook his head violently.

"No, don't laugh-"

"I wasn't laughing at you, love," Rosie said placatingly but it seemed to aggravate Severus even more than he already was.

"Stop it!" he cried, jumping to his feet. "Just shut up and listen to me – don't interrupt, this is hard enough-" he sat down and seemed slightly ashamed.

"Please, promise me that whatever I say you will let me finish. That you won't leave before I am done. I don't expect you to stay with me once I have told you everything – but I want you to know that I care for you. Very much. And that will never change."

"I promise," Rosie whispered.

He sighed sadly, so deeply that it almost sounded like a sob. When he spoke his voice was constricted again.

"W-when I was younger, I-I did something…foolish. It doesn't give me an excuse mind!" he said suddenly as though angry for not berating himself. But then he steadied himself and started again. "I was sorted into Slytherin and was surrounded by all these people who knew all about the Dark Arts. Their families were involved with them. I was always fascinated by them, and my father," he shivered. "My father liked the Arts too. I'm going off the subject, sorry." He looked up at the ceiling and blinked back tears.

"When I was eighteen I left school not knowing what I wanted to do or what I wanted to be. I don't think I really knew who _I _was. They asked me and I joined." He buried his face in his hands after this ambiguous statement.

"Who's they?" Rosie asked.

"Avery, Lestrange, Rosier…all my Slytherin _friends,_" he spat out the last word bitterly.

"What did you join?"

Severus paused and glanced at Rosie, fear etched in ever line of his face, like he was waiting for the apocalypse. Then he turned from her and stared into middle distance.

"What did you join?" she asked again.

"The Death Eaters."

A stunned silence started after these words were uttered. Rosie stared in disbelief, her mouth agape. Severus turned and faced Rosie in panic.

"Rosie, I-I promise-" he began but Rosie cut him off.

"You – you," Rosie choked out, unable to think of a word to describe him. "You utter _bastard! _How could you _do _that!" Rosie shouted, leaping to her feet.

Severus stood up too. "I told you, I warned you. But I am truly sorry for what-"

"_YOU'RE SORRY! OH, SO THAT MAKES IT BETTER! YOU KILLED PEOPLE SEVERUS! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" _Rosie was screaming at him, livid. _"HOW CAN YOU JUST SIT THE-HOW CAN YOU _WORRY _ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY WHEN YOU TORTURED AND KILLED AND-AND… _RAPED _PROBABLY!"_

"No, Rosie, I didn't-"

"No, you were right Severus. I don't, I can't stay with someone like you. I loved you! How could you do this to me?"

"I didn't do it to hurt you, I did it before I knew you!"

"I'm leaving. I can't stay here." Severus didn't move or try to stop her. He knew that he had blown it, he knew it was his fault. Why didn't he tell her earlier? Then she wouldn't have slept with a murderer.

Rosie flew out of the door, slamming it behind her. Severus knew she'd be back soon – she would need her belongings. For a moment Severus stood, too stunned to move. But then he sank to the floor and all the grief and guilt washed through him as his body was wracked with spasmodic sobs.

A/N: Who knows who actually reads this story, but if it's you, thank you for taking the time to do so. If you've read, you must have an opinion, so why not share it?


	12. The Aftermath

**Chapter 12: The Aftermath **

Severus woke up lying on the floor feeling totally disorientated. It looked dark outside the window but he didn't know what time it was. He blinked a few times and propped himself up on his elbows. It took him a few seconds to realise why he felt so miserable, when he did he felt the tears begin to prickle in the corner of his eyes.

Screwing up his hand into a fist he rubbed his eyes forcefully, telling himself to get a grip, that this was all his fault anyway.

He now wondered why he was awake. He couldn't remember if anything had happened to return him to consciousness – he couldn't even remember falling asleep.

After Rosie had left Severus had cried unrestrainedly, almost relishing the way the tears fell down his cheeks, dropping off his nose. However the tears did nothing to abate his undeniable misery. He had, after several hours of snivelling, laid down on the floor. His face was dry now for the time being, at least there were no more tears to shed. He had laid in a stupor and must have dropped off to sleep at some point.

Severus got up uncertainly. His back hurt from the hours of lying on the hard floor. He also felt muggy. The sleep had not been at all satisfying; it had been necessary to stop him from brooding on the incomprehensible loss he felt. Severus walked slowly out into the deserted hallway; the house was silent and empty. He moved up the stairs very slowly, making the boards creak beneath his feet. He stumbled on a step and moved his left hand out to support himself on the handrail. His shirt rose up his arm to reveal a Dark Mark. Severus stopped and stared at it, disgusted. No matter how many times he saw it, it still made him sick.

Severus turned halfway up the stairs and slumped on a step. What was the point of going upstairs? Why should he bother? There was no reason – there was no Rosie.

He pulled up his left sleeve to examine the ugly souvenir of an even uglier past. He brought out his wand and muttered _'Lumos'. _The end of the wand flared and gave out a light, rather like a torch. Severus brought the wand closer to the skin of his forearm. There was a small pale scar on the skin near the Dark Mark as though something had been poured on to it. Severus remembered doing that to himself all too well. He had been in such a fit of desperation one night after a particularly horrific murder that he had picked up a vile of acid and poured it onto the tattoo.

To no avail though, the Dark Mark vanished for several hours as the acid burned away some of the skin. But once Severus was in a more sane sense of mind he had healed himself only to find, to his dismay, that the Mark remained and that a small scar accompanied it.

Severus walked back downstairs and into the kitchen, he sat heavily in one of the chairs and rested his forehead on the table. For five or ten minutes he sat like this, letting the world drift by. Then he raised his head and saw something that had definitely not been there before. A letter.

He reached out a long, slim hand and picked up the letter. He unfolded the parchment and saw Rosie's writing on the page. He took out his wand and cast a spell so that all the lights in the kitchen flared. Then he sat back and read.

_Dear Severus,_

_This isn't easy for me to write; you have to believe that. I came back recently to get some clothes, you were lying on the floor in the front room – in fact you are lying on the floor in the front room. I didn't want to wake you – I don't want to talk to you. Not yet._

_I'm going to a friend's house. Please don't try to find me, just leave me be. I will be in contact soon to tell you what's going on. I know that it must have been hard to tell me all that you did but please understand that's it's hard to take in that your boyfriend was a murderer._

_I do love you Severus, I think I always will – I just need time to think._

_Take care,_

_Rosie_

Severus folded up the letter and put it back on the table. '_Well, she doesn't hate me', _Severus thought_. 'That's something at least.' _

Meanwhile Rosie was on the Knight Bus, holding onto her bedposts for dear life as it hurtled down small roads in the countryside.

"This can't be legal," Rosie muttered bitterly.

Rosie was on her way to her friend's house. Alina had always been a good friend to her, they had been in the same house a Hogwarts and, unlike many of her other friends, they had stayed in touch – although it was rare for them to see each other.

After Severus had told her about his dubious past Rosie had fled the house sent an owl to Alina's. The reply had been instant and thankfully predictable, Alina had insisted that Rosie came and stayed with her. Rosie hadn't filled her friend in on all the details, but she had stressed how upsetting it was and how desperate she was to get away. That wasn't true of course – what she wanted to do was to go home, back to Severus. To melt into his embrace and kiss him senseless. Rosie wanted to forget what he had told her – Rosie wished that it had never happened.

It took a while for Rosie to realise that the Knight Bus had stopped and that the conductor was waiting for Rosie to get off. Brushing the tears from her eyes she picked up her luggage and made her way down the steps of the bus and onto the tarmac of the road.

With a bang the bus hurtled off and Rosie was left standing on her own in the middle of the darkened street. She got out her wand and shouted 'Lumos', the wand flared and Rosie was able to shed some light on her surroundings. She turned around and with a jolt of surprise found that Alina's house was right behind her. Picking up her suitcase Rosie made her way down the gravel path and knocked on the door.

After a few seconds she heard the sound of footsteps, Rosie smiled – that was definitely Alina. With a click the front door opened and there stood Alina.

She was a woman of Chinese origin and had black hair that fell to her shoulders. She was very short – something that she had been teased about at school. She looked up at Rosie, her face shining with concern and then said gently,

"You made it, come in," she stood back and allowed Rosie to walk through the doorway. Once she was inside, Alina led her into the house, through the square shaped hallway and into the kitchen. There Rosie dumped her belongings and then she went into the front room where Alina was already sitting. There was a fire blazing at one end of the room and on the hearth was a mug of what suspiciously looked like hot chocolate with whipped cream on the top.

"You can sit down you know. I made you a hot chocolate," she said, patting the space on the sofa next to her.

"Thanks for having me Alina, I really appreciate it."

"Don't worry about it. Not like anyone else is here," she mumbled something that sounded like 'stupid Siegfried'.

They sat in silence for a while, Rosie blinking back her unshed tears. It had been a while since Rosie had been able to sit down and actually comprehend what had just happened, now that she thought about it properly she didn't see how she could ever think of Severus in the same light again. Rosie cast around for a topic of discussion.

"You two never made a go of it then?" Rosie asked thinking of Siegfried Blossier – another school friend who had had a massive crush on Alina but never had the courage to tell her.

"Huh?"

"You and Sieg, you never got together then?"

"What are you talking about?" said Alina, staring at Rosie's face.

"What do you think I'm talking about Alina?" Rosie cried exasperatedly. "You and Siegfried!"

When Alina continued to look baffled Rosie decided to be as obvious as she could. "Alina, Siegfried loves you – like hell, ever since the fourth year."

"Really?" said Alina looking genuinely shocked. "I never knew."

Rosie laughed. "I don't believe you sometimes – you are so dense."

"I am not. It's not like he told me or anything."

Rosie smacked her forehead with her palm. "My God Alina, he's liked you for yonks its not like he's going to tell you – he doesn't want to lose you as a friend – but even I thought that you'd be able to work out how he feels." Rosie sipped her drink and added, "Didn't you wonder why he didn't want to move in? I thought he would tell you and you'd confess your undying love for him!"

"Oh yeah Rosie, like I'd do that. I don't even find him attractive!"

"Not in the slightest? He's not bad."

"Exactly – _you_ think he's all right and you fancy every single ugly male in the country! He's nice I just never noticed him in that way." She looked away and then burst out suddenly, "He should have just told me! That would have made everything so much easier!"

Rosie rolled her eyes and drank a bit more of her drink. She had just thought of how she and Severus had got together –_ 'Yeah, if he'd just _told_ me if he fancied me then it would be so much easier', _Rosie thought with a wry smile.

"Someday Alina, when you're in love you'll realise the difficulty of telling him how you feel."

"I wish I was in love! I'm fed up of being single!" she pounded the arms of the sofa.

Rosie snorted into he mug. "Excuse me? I want a man? Is this the _real _Alina – not the other Alina, remember Ms. Men-are-stupid!"

"When did I say that?" Alina said smiling.

"About two months ago when I told you about me and Sev-" Rosie stopped in her tracks. She didn't want to talk about him just yet. Unfortunately it looked like Alina had been waiting for this kind of opportunity to arise and started up the topic of Severus.

"Oh yes, you and Severus. You haven't told me what happened between you two."

"There's a reason," Rosie answered shortly.

"And that is?"

"I don't _want _to talk about it. It's over."

"One argument and it's over? Rosie, I thought that you loved him?"

"I did but it's not that simple. I still love him its just – I can't love him."

"What on Earth are you talking about?" Alina cried incredulously. "That would have probably made so much more sense if I knew what had happened. Just tell me." When Rosie continued to be silent she burst out, "Tell me!"

Rosie sighed resignedly and sat back into the sofa, placing the mug onto the coffee table. "Okay, I'll tell you, but it's not nice. You'll see what I mean."

So Rosie began to recount her tale. She told her all about how she and Severus had finally got together and how she had felt more and more attached to him. She explained what he meant to her and how she had gained his trust and how she suspected that he had some things about his past to tell her – even though she had no idea what.

Then she went on to talk about the later times, the times closer to the present day. How Severus had become more and more withdrawn and unhappy. How Rosie wondered if he was irritated with her and that maybe it was the fact that they never got any space from each other (not that Rosie minded). Then she told Alina how he had become more irritable and aggressive – throwing things around, shouting at the post boy when he gave Severus the wrong mail and just generally being moody and cold.

When Alina failed to see where the story was going, Rosie decided that it would probably be simpler just to tell Alina what he had said and what she had shouted in return. In a way it felt good to tell someone else what had happened. By telling Alina the sequence of events she was able to understand more what Severus' mood swings had been about and why he had seemed so distant.

"So," Rosie said, coming near to the end of her speech. "He told me about what he'd done as a – well he was eighteen, I suppose he was an adult."

"What did he tell you?" Alina asked softly.

For the first time Rosie was able to contemplate what it must have been like for Severus to tell what he had done. He hadn't wanted to but felt that he had to, Rosie was in the same position and she was equally ashamed of the deed, equally unable to express the atrocity of what he had done.

"He told me that-" Rosie took a deep breath and uttered quickly, "he was a Death Eater."

"He was a _Death Eater!_" Alina exclaimed. Alina came form a long line of wizarding families, she knew more than Rosie what being a Death Eater meant.

"Oh my God, _really? _I can't believe that."

"Neither could I," said Rosie sourly, beginning to cry properly. "But I do believe him." She sobbed loudly and Alina put an arm around her comfortingly.

"You know I'm bad at this," she mumbled, sounding embarrassed.

"Thanks a lot Alina," Rosie sniffed, feeling slightly irritated at her friend – she could at least try to comfort her.

"It'll be all right," Alina reassured her. "I promise."

"How can you say that?" protested Rosie. "How – how can you assure me th-" she broke down into sobs again, burying her face in her hands.

Alina put both her arms around Rosie and hugged her to herself, gently rubbing her arms, trying to calm her down. Alina could feel Rosie's tears seeping through her shirt and realised that this wasn't the usual happy-go-lucky Rosie sitting in her living room, this was a Rosie who needed a lot of comforting.

"I trusted him!" moaned Rosie. "Every person – every man – that I've ever trusted has always turned out to be rotten and he's just the same!" Alina sighed deeply, she knew that Rosie was referring to her previous boyfriend, the man that had taken her on a romantic trip to Barbados only to run away with a woman from Coventry that he met on the beach. "I can't," she sobbed, "I can't trust him! I can't!"

"Why not – it's only just happened," Alina asked untangling herself from Rosie and magicking a box of tissues onto the coffee table and offering them to her saddened friend.

"I know," she said sadly. "But every time I think of him I think of the Death Eaters. I hate associating him with that. You know when you find something out about someone that you wish you hadn't?" Alina nodded slowly. "Well, this is exactly the same."

"So you wish that Severus had kept you in the dark? Never told you?" Alina asked.

Rosie sniffed, "No," she replied. "I'm glad that he did – it would have come out, it's too serious not to – it's just that – I can't forget, I can't pretend that he was never a Death Eater."

"I suppose neither can he," said Alina.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I don't suppose that he's pleased about what he did. Why else would he have acted like that?"

"I – I know, but that doesn't make it easier to forgive. As I said, I just can't think of him the same way. I don't know whether I can live with him – knowing what he did." She blew her nose and Alina saw her eyes well up again.

"Rosie!" she exclaimed weakly.

"I'm sorry!" she wailed. "I just feel as though he's betrayed me!"

"How the hell has he _betrayed_ you?" cried Alina.

"I know it sounds stupid," Rosie responded miserably, "but that's just how I feel. I slept with him when I didn't know what had happened – what he'd done in the past. He did. He knew it all. He could've – he should've told me from the beginning!" she finished angrily.

"Well, at least we're going through the emotions quickly," muttered Alina. "Would you have told him – if it was the other way round?"

"How the hell should I know? _I'm_ not the blood Death Eater!"

"He's not one anymore," said Alina.

"How do you know?" questioned Rosie sharply.

"Rosie, stop this, you're being irrational. Didn't you say once that you'd been to an Order meeting? You mentioned it once in a letter," Alina said and Rosie nodded. "Do you honestly think that Severus would be in the Order if he was still a Death Eater."

"He's a spy," said Rosie simply. "How should I know?"

"Rosie, _Dumbledore_ runs the Order! He's not going to be fooled!"

"He's untrustworthy," replied Rosie stoically and Alina grimaced, rubbing her eyes with her fingers.

"Do you actually love him?" asked Alina.

"Of course I do!" said Rosie angrily. "Don't suggest otherwise!"

"I'm sorry," said Alina, "but you seem to be trying to blame him for everything!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!" Alina argued. "Just calm down and let's talk about this sensibly." Rosie shot Alina a glare before proceeding to dab her red eyes and blow her nose again. Once she seemed calmer to Alina, Alina spoke again.

"So, let's go through it, why have you left him?"

"Are you insane? I've left him because he was a _Death Eater _Alina, do those words mean nothing to you? He murdered people. No I don't know how many," Rosie added as she saw Alina open her mouth.

"And?" Alina asked. Rosie glared at her but Alina merely shrugged. "It's part of Auror training – finding out the facts, I'm just trying to see what's going on," Rosie raised a brow and Alina said, "I know what he did was awful, I feel a bit sick really, but what done is done."

"What's done is done? He murdered people. I've been living in a house with a murderer, a torturer and whatever else he indulged in!" Rosie could not believe that Alina was not more shocked than she was. She had expected Alina to shout and swear and tell her never to go near him again and that if Rosie did _she _would kill him. Instead it was almost like Severus had just got drunk once and kissed his best friend's brother; in fact Alina was almost supporting Severus. Rosie didn't really like it, and she couldn't explain to herself why. All she knew was that she hated it even more when Alina said, in a tone that suggested that Rosie was being over-dramatic,

"_But?"_

"But what? I can't go back to him he was a-" Rosie was becoming more and more agitated.

"Murderer," finished Alina. "Yes I _know. _But if that's it-"

Rosie made an exasperated noise and threw up her hands. Alina silenced her with a look and carried on. "I've already said that it was awful and I do think that I really do – I just don't know him well at all so I find it quite hard to join your 'Lets All Hate Severus' club."

"I don't _hate _him," Rosie said forcefully.

"It seems like you're just finding excuses not to love him, not to live with him. Answer me this – is there any other reason that you're not with him at this precise moment other than the fact that he killed people?"

"No, there's no other reason. But I think the reason you're referring to is a pretty major factor."

"Rosie, Severus can't change the past however much he may want to. He just can't change what happened, there's no way that what he did can be altered. Do you think that he wanted to become a Death Eater?"

"I don't know," Rosie said slowly. "He never said."

"He never said or you didn't let him?" Alina asked shrewdly.

"Fine. I didn't let him!"

"Well, does he seem sorry for what he did – and really sorry I mean, not just half-heartedly because he loves you?"

This time it was easy for Rosie to answer. "Yes," she said quickly. "Yes he is sorry. He couldn't tell me for ages – that's why he went all withdrawn on me – yes, I know that sentence doesn't make sense Alina, don't even bother correcting me."

"It would have saved you all that breath if you just hadn't said the sentence in the first place!"

"Oh, look who's talking – Ms. Is-Shakespeare-even-in-English?"

"Well, it's not like it's easy to understand," she said grinning at Rosie while Rosie tried not to laugh. "But we're moving off the subject here. So, Severus is truly sorry for what he did."

"Yes," said Rosie feeling the smile fall off her face.

"Well then!" said Alina clapping her hands together in a suitably Alina gesture. "What's the problem? You love him, he loves you, he's sorry-"

"But so am I!" Rosie exclaimed suddenly. "I'm sorry I met him – kind of. I just don't know whether I can forgive him – I don't know whether I can walk down the street holding his hand when I know that those hands took someone's life away. I don't know whether I can let him kiss me with his lips when I know that they uttered the words '_Avada Kedavra_'. I don't know whether I can let him banish my clothes with a wave of his wand when I know that that wand was used to kill-"

"Okay, too much information Rosie. I understand." Alina paused looking slightly sickened and then composed herself and continued.

"But do you love him?"

Rosie raised an eyebrow. "Of course I do. I love him more than anyone, I wish I was with him now."

"Then go back to him – go on, I don't want you here. You'll only tidy the place!"

"Ha ha, Severus thinks _I'm _messy – wonder what he'd think of you!"

"There's only one way for you to find out – go back!"

"We're going round in circles," Rosie said finally. "We've said all this before. I love him but can't forgive him. I don't know what to do. I think I might go to bed."

Alina laughed. _"I don't know what to do. I think I might go to bed!"_ Alina mimicked. "You will go back to him Rosie."

"Oh, and what makes you so certain?" Rosie asked quizzically.

"From what you said about him before he's perfect for you and I'm not letting you leave your soul mate just because of a minor technicality."

"_Soul mate? Minor technicality?_" Rosie asked with a disgusted face.

"Well, maybe a bit cheesy but you two are so sweet together."

"You've never met him," Rosie reminded her.

Alina studied her face for a few seconds and then said in mock anger, "Oh, shut up Rosie! Just go to bed!"

Rosie took the advice and climbed the stairs and walked into her new room. It had been an exhausting day even though she had not travelled very far. It had only been a matter of a few hours since Severus had told her that he was a murderer yet it seemed like an age. Her body ached to be with him, but she knew it could not be. It wasn't a matter of love; it was a matter of principle, Rosie thought muggily as she climbed into bed in her pyjamas. She was asleep within a matter of minutes.

**A/N:** A big thanks to those who reviewed; it's nice to know that there are those out there enjoying my story. Again, I emphatically emphasise…if you read, please review!

CicadaInvasion (great name, btw) – What exactly do you think is out of character with Rosie? I'm not ridiculing your opinion, it's just that this story is posted on another site, and that issue has never been raised before. I'm simply curious to know!

Krirobe – Thanks for your comments! I adore Jane Eyre, too, as was probably apparent from my mentioning.

KES – Lol, thanks. I'm sure I can convince Rosie to listen to Severus again – eventually.

Beornthryth – I love realism within stories. Obviously, the entire wizarding thing isn't exactly down-to-earth, but I do tend to feel that if there isn't some grounding in reality then your characters become caricatures of real people. Anyway, thanks for your review!

sis ) – I know, Rosie's angry with him – which I suppose is understandable. Maybe I can coax her back to Severus …

snip-snippet – She is really impulsive, I don't mind you saying that! The anger did arrive quickly, but the she is Severus' partner; you couldn't expect them both to just sit there smouldering for a couple of chapters!

ButterflyOfLothlorien – Thanks for you review … I'll try my best to persuade Rosie to go back to Severus, but she can be very stubborn when she wants to!

Snape's Secrets – Glad that you're enjoying that story. Yes, it is a shame that they've only just managed to get together, but, there you are, I'm an evil author.

Again, I emphatically emphasise…if you read, please review!


	13. Alina

**Chapter 13: Alina  
**  
There was a knock on Severus' door early in the afternoon five days after Rosie had left. Severus wondered who it could be; he never usually had anyone to visit him. The only person who came and went was Rosie.

Rosie.

Could it be? Was she back? Severus sprinted to the door and wrenched it open, his heart lighter than it had been in a few days.

His heart sank. A small Chinese lady with long dark hair was looking up at him.

"Yes?" Severus asked curtly.

"You're Severus, right?" the woman asked.

"I am. Who are you?"

"I'm Alina Porter, Rosie's friend." That caught Severus' attention. A friend of Rosie's, even if she wasn't here in person it had to mean something, maybe Alina was here to smack him round the mouth, maybe she was here to tell Severus that Rosie still loved him enough to be with him.

However, his heart sank when she said, "She doesn't know that I'm here." So she didn't know, Rosie obviously didn't want to know him then. Any trace of an upturned corner of a mouth faded and he ushered her into the house shutting the door behind her.

"Can I take your coat?" he asked quietly but still gruffly. He didn't know why but seeing her friend, even a trace of Rosie had brought a lump to his throat. He swallowed and thought desperately about how he was going to get her out of the house as soon as possible.

Alina meanwhile had managed to deposit her coat over his arm and walked into the kitchen. After pinning her coat on the rack her followed her in and made her a hot chocolate (apparently she detested tea). Severus sat down next to her and passed her the hot chocolate. He had positioned himself so that he did not have to look into her eyes. She was most likely to hate him at this point – this was Rosie's friend after all, she was bound to have similar beliefs as Rosie on being an ex-murderer. By sitting _next_ to her, what was her name – Alina, Severus knew he would be able to talk (or shout) and yet not feel a pang of sorrow by insulting her. These things hadn't mattered to him before but when the subject was Rosie he did not want to upset anyone remotely close to her.

"So," said Severus after a pause. "Why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious – because of you and because of Rosie."

"What about Rosie and I? I wasn't aware that it was your concern." _That's it Severus, back into defensive mode._

"What about you?" she asked incredulously. "You were a couple and now your not, Rosie told me what hap-"

"Relationships break up all the time, Miss Porter. I'm still confused as to why you're here."

"There's no need to be so bloody rude. Rosie told me everything, about you being a Death Eater and all, and you know what – she still loves you. In fact I'm surprised she loved you in the first place if you're this polite to her."

"You are not Rosie."

"I know. But I also know that you're a fool."

"You think I hadn't realised that?" Severus hissed venomously. "What the hell do you think you're doing just coming in here and preaching to me? You think I haven't thought all this before? I know Rosie's gone, there's no need to rub it in my face."

"I'm not rubbing it in you're face!" Alina shouted indignantly. "I'm trying to tell you that she loves you very much!"

"Thank you for that but she already left me a bloody letter telling me that and _no offence _but her loves not much good if she's not here!"

"She just needs time."

"Why are you here? I knew all this before – why do you feel the need to inform me again?"

"I wanted to know what you were like," Alina replied simply. "Rosie's confused and angry, I daresay, with you. She loves you, very much. I've never actually seen her mope before but you've really driven her to it. I suppose I wanted to see who she cared about so much."

"What do you think of me now?" he asked derisively.

"Well, I'm always surprised by Rosie's boyfriends," said Alina. "They're normally all oddballs. I can see why she likes you though, underneath the shock," she smiled. "Your bark's worse than your bite."

"I do tear chunks out of people's legs occasionally, but I'm not rabid, I assure you," he said flatly.

Alina laughed. "There you go! I can see why Rosie loves you! Right there!"

"Thank you very much," Severus muttered into his mug.

"Look, she cares for you, it doesn't really matter if I'm head over heels or not. You seem like a decent bloke – well, what you did in the past wasn't decent but you can't change that. It was brave to tell her so early on. Most people would never have told anyone not least the person they love."

"How do you know?" he asked waspishly.

"I don't, but as a child it was always hard to tell my parents when I'd done something wrong." Severus snorted. "Don't knock the reference to childhood!" Alina said, smiling. "I just mean that it must have been hard to admit what you had done – and what you did was pretty bad."

"Bad?" Severus smirked. "I think the word lacks the ringing truth of the atrocities that I've committed."  
Alina smiled and Severus continued, "Most people wouldn't give me a second thought, let alone a second chance. I'm really not expecting Rosie to come back."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"No, I haven't had that much experience in anything concerned with emotion. Besides, I've never told anyone who cares." Strange, he felt remarkably calm.

"What about family?"

"They all knew…or died. Either way I don't really see much of them any more." _Oh no, the charm's wearing thin – now if you could just get out of my house…_

"Why-" began Alina; Rosie's boyfriend was certainly tall(ish), dark and mysterious, not to mention secretive.

Severus cut her off. "I don't wish to talk about it. Rosie would have realised that," he muttered the last bit more to himself that to Alina.

"I'm not Rosie though, I don't really want to be, _no offence_."

Severus smiled, well, the corners of his mouth moved at least.

"I think that Rosie mentioned you once – she said that you were her guru."

Alina laughed. "She said that? Well, she did tell me a lot about you!"

"Oh?" said Severus, raising an eyebrow. "Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know, it was sweet. She told me about how much she liked you and how depressing it was when you didn't appear to like her – at all. Then she told me about how you were frightened of admitting your true feelings to her-"

"I'm sorry?" he hissed, interrupting Alina.

"She told me how you backed off the first time and how you were worried when she wasn't there the first day after you, well, you know."

"She told you this? She told you everything?" Severus asked enraged. How much had she told Alina? Severus knew that women chatted about personal things more than men did but he would have thought that Rosie of all people would have known when to keep her mouth shut.

"Yeah. She told me this when she arrived – yesterday evening in fact. I think she was trying to defend you more than anything, she loves you a lot Severus."

Severus felt soothed; she had been defending his personality – that was certainly something that had never happened before. Suddenly a wave of sadness swept over him, he felt his eyes prickle – he missed Rosie. But he would not cry, not in front of this stranger. In front of Rosie, maybe, she knew him inside out, but this woman, nice as she was, was not Rosie.

"Do you think that she will return?" asked Severus solemnly not looking at Alina.

"Do you want her to?"

"More than anything. But I'm not going to make her. If she does I want it to be because my wonderful personality and charm overruled all the bad points of my past life." He sighed suddenly and without warning, his breath slightly shuddery and he knew that he was about to bawl. He had to get rid of this woman before she noticed anything.

"I'm sorry to be an appalling host but do you think that you would mind leaving? I just need some time alone." There. Polite and truthful – didn't people like that?

"Are you all right? Are you sure you wouldn't like me to stay?" No, damn you! I just want to be alone – stop asking questions!

"No, it's fine thank you."

"I'll try and get Rosie to come back as soon as I can, but I think she'll come back to you anyway."

"Right," he said gruffly.

He ushered Alina to the door and gave her her coat. He smiled at him one last time, thanked him for the hot chocolate and left. Severus shut the door and walked into the front room. He sat down on the sofa, waiting for the tears to come but they didn't. He just sat there alone, wishing for company – no, wishing for Rosie.

But then he felt scared. If she came back she'd want to know all the gory details of his life up to and including being a Death Eater. He didn't know if he could bear to relive it, once was bad enough. What about how his life as a Death Eater ended? He gaped in horror; she'd want to know why he had left. How could he tell her? She'd be out the door as quickly as she came.

"Shit," Severus muttered.

A/N: Alina is my creation, and mine alone! This may well be the last post before Christmas, unless it appears to me that people do want a quick update. Let me know what you think. It is, after all, the season of good will. In addition, a big thanks to Mrs N Snape, who, although not reviewing recently, has made plenty of valuable comments over the previous chapters and I am very grateful.

_Snip-snippet: Yes, I think I know what you mean, lol. Thanks for your review; it really made me smile! ;)_

_Tab-sempai: Thanks for your review, and excuse my ignorance, but, what does everyone know or not know? I'm probably being incredibly dense. (It's always best to enlighten me when these situations arise.)_

_CicadaInvasion: Well, that certainly rings true. Rosie is more idealistic, but, as you will see, she can be very shrewd and careful when she wants to. She doesn't always want to see what really is, but that's, within Rosie's context, not necessarily to do with being a romantic._


	14. The Decision

_A/N: Happy New Year to everyone and I hope you had a good holiday! It was Severus' birthday the other day, and whilst his day does not fit into this section of the story, Rosie assures me that he did have a marvellous time! Good on ya, girl!_

Chapter 14: The Decision

Alina Apparated back to her house in the English countryside and walked into her front room. Rosie was sitting by the fire eating some cereal and reading the newspaper. Alina moved over to where she was and sat down next to her.

"Where did you get to?" Rosie asked. She had woken up in the morning and realised that Alina was not in the house. While this had not distressed her she thought that a note or a word the night before might have been nice.

"Yeah," said Alina. "I need to talk to you about that."

"What?" said Rosie, putting her empty bowl down in the fireplace.

"I – okay – don't get annoyed with me, I did it for the best."

"What did you do?"

"I went and saw Severus."

"You did _what? _Why?"

"Because I don't know him – I can't give you that much advice when I don't even know what he's like."

"I suppose," said Rosie, then she grinned at Alina. "So, what did you think of him?"

"I can see why _you _like him."

"Handsome isn't he?"

Alina smirked, "Yeah, whatever. He's the kind of guy you would find attractive. He's all right. He's nice though, I like him."

"What did you say to him?" asked Rosie.

"Well, I went round there and he opened the door and let me in. He gave me a tea and we just talked about you two. I said that you still loved him and all that, I said that there might be a chance that you'd forgive him, that you two seemed good together. I told him about what you'd said to me – you know, how he was afraid of admitting his true feelings-"

"You didn't," said Rosie in a low voice.

"Yeah I did."

"What did he say to that?"

"Well," said Alina, deliberating to the point. "He was a bit annoyed at first," Rosie snorted. "But then he calmed down. He took it all well you know. He's really nice. I think you should go back to him."

"Nice isn't the word that I'd use," said Rosie.

"Rosie – why on Earth did you go out with him in the first place if you didn't think he was nice?" asked Alina, shaking her head.

"I don't mean it like that – I love him, or I did," she looked at Alina's face. "Fine, I _do. _I just wouldn't use the word '_nice' _to describe him. I mean, Remus Lupin – he's genuinely nice. A really '_nice' _person. That doesn't suit Severus, he's – I don't know – unique." Alina smiled. "But that's why I like him. If he was really kind and charming and wasn't at all cynical then I don't think I'd like him – not in that way anyway."

"Yeah, you couldn't be with someone who didn't have the same sense of humour, could you?"

"Ha, ha," Rosie droned sarcastically. "Very amusing."

Alina narrowed her eyes in mock-anger and said, "Yeah, so anyway. I – er – _approve _of your – Severus."

"Now you sound just like my mother."

Alina laughed, "Thanks. But, he at least spoke to me. I mean, he didn't exactly push me out of the door or anything!"

"What?" asked Rosie sharply. She had just thought of something. Something that Severus was likely to do and Alina was likely not to tell her – get ludicrously angry.

"He didn't throw me out of the house. I just left – well, sort of," she finished the last bit off quietly as if she knew what Rosie's response would be.

"Why did you leave him?"

"Huh?" said Alina, feigning ignorance.

"I mean – was there any reason? Did he tell you to leave or-"

"I don't see why you need to know but he told me to leave," Rosie groaned. "But only because he was going to cry – I don't think he wanted me to comfort him," she added.

Rosie looked up, "Then he's not that annoyed!" Alina looked confused. "He would have thrown you out of the house if he'd been annoyed."

A while later Rosie said, "He was crying?"

"He was about to. He looked a bit worse for wear when I saw him first, but he could just look like that normally," Alina said with a smile at Rosie, Rosie slapped her on the arm.

"Shut it girl! This is my man you're insulting!"

"Hah!" said Alina victoriously. "_Your _man!"

"Shut up, Alina."

"Just admit it Rosie, you miss him. Don't worry, I can take it," she said sniffing in mock sadness. "I know I'm no substitute for Severus Snape."

"No, but you're a great friend," she said and they shared a hug. "So you think I should go back?"

Alina sighed exasperatedly. "_Yes! _I've been telling you that ever since you arrived. Just sod off back home!"

Rosie sighed and stood up. She went upstairs and got her things back together. She realised suddenly that it was the 1st of January – the start of a New Year, a new beginning. After all the excitement Rosie had completely to celebrate the New Year properly, what an absolute imbecile.

She was packed and ready to go in about an hour and a half. Alina made her a lunch of pasta with the new pasta cookbook Rosie had given her for Christmas. It was a joke present; Alina was a truly awful cook. She probably would be able to cook with practice, she was just totally ignorant, she didn't even seem to know what an oven was! Sometimes Rosie did wonder how she survived life.

After lunch Alina made her leave the house but Rosie was too nervous to go back to Severus. She wanted to stay a few more days. Rosie had a plan though, when she got back, an after they had settled down a bit, Rosie would ask him to explain everything. She was fed up of not telling people things; it had been the only problem in their relationship.

Rosie Apparated from outside Alina's house to outside her own. She recognised the street and she recognised the lawn leading up to their front door. The ground was still frosty and cold, she trod carefully up the path and up to her front door. She opened it and walked straight in.

She couldn't see Severus anywhere downstairs, she thought that he must be in his study. She climbed the stairs as quietly as she could and dumped her bag in her room. Rosie heard a door creak and realised that Severus was indeed coming out of his study. She hastily shut herself in their bedroom. She heard him walk by and she could smell his scent, masculine and hard and most definitely Severus.

He went into the kitchen and Rosie crept down the stairs and headed into the kitchen. Severus was standing with his back to Rosie, looking heavily down at the work surface and drumming his fingers idly on the kitchen units.

"Hello," she said.

He whipped around to face her. He looked different than she remembered. His eyes had dark circles under them and he was – if possible – paler than before. It looked as though he hadn't slept well.

"Hello," he said. His voice was low and tight, she guessed it was the emotional strain he was under. Suddenly her own throat became constricted and she knew that when she spoke her voice would quaver.

"Are you staying?" he asked. "Because if you're not, would you mind leaving soon? I don't think I can bear it." There was raw emotion in his statement but he was still on the defensive.

"I'm staying," trying to sound as calm as possible.

"You are?"

Rosie paused for a few moments, trying to get her voice under control. "Yes," she said, blinking back tears and stared at the ceiling just above Severus' head.

"Are you staying with me?"

Rosie looked back at him; he looked thoroughly miserable and unsure of himself. "Oh god, yes Sev, of course I am!"

She walked up to him and put her arms round his neck. He immediately responded to her touch by winding his arms around her too. Rosie sighed; it was as if nothing had happened to tear them apart. Rosie felt secure in his embrace, safe with him. There was nowhere else that she would rather be. Even though this was just a hug, Rosie knew that Severus felt the same.

He bent his head towards her and Rosie opened her mouth, she felt his tongue inside her mouth and knew that this was where she was supposed to be. She kissed him back, gently. They were both unsure and nervous, she could almost feel Severus trembling against her. He deepened the kiss, pushing himself towards her more. His hands were on her back, gently running up and down her spine. Rosie felt a lovely tingling sensation down her leg; she sighed into his mouth.

Severus broke the kiss and moved his mouth to her ear.

"You forgive me? After everything?"

"Yes," Rosie managed to gasp back.

He kissed her on the flesh just beneath her earlobe. Rosie sighed and lent her head backwards so that he had better access to her neck. He moved down her neck slowly, as though savouring every part of her body. Suddenly, he flung his arms around her and all Rosie could see was taut material where the shirt clung to his arms. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. A solitary tear dropped from her eye and meandered down her cheek onto his shoulder. Rosie sniffed and took a step back from him.

Her hand went up and brushed the hair back off his face and then rested on the side of his head, gently thumbing his jaw. He smiled softly, his eyes becoming warm again. They shared another kiss before Severus said simply,

"I missed you."

A/N: The last sentence was a repetition of Severus' original confession of feelings towards Rosie. I felt that it was appropriate to have him say the same thing again.

_snip-snippet : Thanks again for your reviews! Lol. The cats are just fine and they are happily settling into life with Rosie and Severus. And, btw, I love having you as my weird, deluded, handicap reviewer!_

_Mrs N Snape: I didn't mean to pressurise you into reviewing but thank you so much for doing so anyway! Don't worry if you can't review every chapter, I still thank you tonnes for providing me with the confidence to continue posting here. Wow, German into Dutch … you're a linguist! I used to study German, but I was absolutely terrible – or rather – nicht gut! And, by the way, you write it very well! Lol. Thanks for your review!_

_CicadaInvasion: Lol. Thanks! Hope you continue to read and enjoy the story!_

_An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: What an amazing name, and cheers for such an enthusiastic review! Hugs! I really don't wish to face your squirrelly wrath, so I have updated … thanks again!_

_tab-sempai: Thanks for the review. There's so much that I want to put in the story that will probably never surface, otherwise the story would be about sixty chapters long! You will, though, meet Rosie's family – this will probably provide insight into her past! Thanks!_


	15. The Whole Truth

A/N: Some people out there may not like this development in the story. It isn't a particularly gruesome section, but it's hardly what one could call pleasant. However, this is a key part of the story, and I hope, that if you've enjoyed the story so far, you will be able to enjoy the rest of the story to come.

Chapter 15: The Whole Truth

Rosie woke up the next morning in bed with Severus; she could feel that her legs were entwined with his. She smiled to herself – she and Severus were together again. She couldn't think of a reason in the world why she would ever leave him.

They had been through so much Rosie thought, certainly more than she had been with any other past boyfriend. Severus came with a lot of baggage, and it wasn't children or sick relatives, it was all emotional. Rosie felt that she knew him more than anyone else did, she hoped that he trusted her more than anyone. Rosie was certainly not under any doubt as to whether she could trust him. The man couldn't even express his own feelings – let alone hers.

She turned her head and found Severus' black eyes staring at her.

"Good morning, Rosie," he said softly. Rosie smiled. She didn't fully know why but at the sound of those particular words Rosie felt her heart swell. She liked the idea of waking up every morning to those words from his mouth.

She turned over on her side so that she could look at him properly.

"Thank you, for last night," Rosie said resting her head on his chest. She draped her arm across his stomach only to find that she could feel his ribs.

"You're skin and bone Sev."

"I always have been. There's not much meat on me I'm afraid."

"I'm sure we could fatten you up a bit!"

"Whose this 'we' – is this your imaginary friend again?" Rosie laughed and smacked him.

"I just meant that I could cook – don't look at me like that, I'm not that bad!"

"You ruined baked beans!"

"They were already bad," Severus nodded in agreement. "I know what, I could cook you a full English!"

"That's a bit greasy, dearest," he said sarcastically. "And we know where all the grease would go."

"Why is your hair that lank anyway – you wash, in fact you are a beacon of cleanliness!"

"I have some overactive gland. It secrets too much grease. I usually wash my hair and by about lunchtime it's unclean again."

"Does it annoy you?"

He nodded and said, "But it's not important."

"No," said Rosie and she sat up and then straddled him in the bed. He smiled benignly; this was certainly the most relaxed that Rosie had seen him since she had met him.

"Oh," he said, "and what, pray tell, do you have planned for me?" he stretched luxuriously and put his hands behind his head, showing off the underneath of his arms.

Rosie saw the Dark Mark gleaming on his skin. It was a dark, vivid black, burning against the pale white of his flesh. It was the first time that she had ever seen it, and now that she had seen how bright it was she didn't see how she could have missed it before. Severus frowned at her look of concentration and glanced sideways.

Rosie got off him. She lent against the bed head and propped herself up on some old pillows. "Did it hurt?" she asked softly.

Severus looked at her, "Yes."

"Can – can I touch it?" she whispered. Severus swallowed but nevertheless extended his arm and brought it closer to her face. She took a deep breath and gazed intently at the tattoo. Her hand came forward and gently touched the skin of his arm. Severus tensed as her fingers ran over the blackened skin and traced the outline carefully. Then she did something that caught Severus by surprise; she brought her head down and kissed the Mark ever so gently. Severus recoiled.

"Sorry," she murmured.

He shook his head, "Don't be. It's my mistake – and I'm paying for it."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You clearly still aren't sure – about me."

Rosie looked at him before answering, "I might be sure if you told me everything-"

"Oh no, Rosie. Not now, please," he turned slightly away from her.

"Why not? Today is as good a time as any."

"I – I, you're right. I know you are. I just don't think I can." He looked up at her.

Rosie put her arm around his shoulder and moved him so that his head was resting on her chest.

"Just tell me from the beginning."

He sighed resignedly and mumbled, "All right. I'll try."

"You know about all there is to know about how I joined the Death Eaters, there were 'friends' at school who were entering into the Dark Arts. I didn't know where I belonged; I never fitted in anywhere. I was this freaky loner. Nobody took pity on me, not even fellow Slytherins.

"I found it very hard to make friends. I'm, I don't know," he stopped briefly and sniffed. "I find it – hard to talk to people. Some people – like Potter and Black-"

"Sorry," Rosie interrupted. "Who's 'Potter and Black'?"

Severus looked at her, shocked, "There wasn't a single person in my year that didn't know who they were," said Severus, a wry smile on his face. It seemed to fall off as he said, "Ironically it was the same with me – for different reasons … obviously." He looked at her. "Potter and Black were the two people who bullied me the most."

"Oh," said Rosie, remembering that night when he had told her briefly of his time at school. "They were the ones?"

"Yes they were," he said heavily.

"What – what did they do?" Rosie asked tentatively.

Severus looked round at her quickly and pursed his lips. "They – I – nothing," he finished lamely.

"Nothing," said Rosie. "I see. Just tell me."

"There was this," his voice faltered and he shook his head. "I can't tell you, Rosie."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it's so embarrassing!" he moaned.

"Please," begged Rosie. "I won't think any worse of you. How could I?"

He smirked and looked at her, "I didn't mean it like that," Rosie added.

"There was this one – occasion when," he paused and took a deep breath. "It was after my Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL. We'd been dismissed from the hall and I went out onto the grounds with the rest of the year," he shuddered. "I was sitting, reading my exam paper under the shadow of a clump of bushes when – I got bored. I don't really like the summer heat and I decided to go back into the castle." He looked at Rosie pleadingly, as though asking her to stop the story. Rosie, however, refused to grant him this easy way out. She wanted to know why he was this hurt by Potter and Black.

"So," he resumed. "I got up from my little spot and moved out into the sunlight. I was making my way – my way across the grass when I heard a call of 'All right, Snivellus?'-"

"Snivellus?" questioned Rosie.

"It was my nickname," Severus stated glumly.

"I'm guessing that you didn't start it."

"Of course I didn't," he said bitterly. "It was them."

"Sorry," muttered Rosie quietly. "Carry on," she urged.

"One of them cried 'Expelliarmus' and my wand flew out of my hand. I dived to get it but," he breathed deeply. "But they knocked me off my feet. All these kids – my schoolmates – had got up to watch. They put the Impediment jinx on me, Rosie," he said almost pleading with her to understand how hard this was for him. "I felt like I was bound."

"Bound?"

"Tied up! Wrapped up! Constricted!" he burst out angrily, gesticulating widely. "Whatever you want to call it!" He closed his eyes and breathed heavily for a few moments before carrying on with his story. "They – I shouted some curses at them, amidst swearing and blaspheming – Potter just told me to – er," he paused, apparently thinking, "what exactly did he say? Something along the lines of 'Wash out your mouth' and then I felt like my mouth was full of soap. There were these suds climbing up my throat, burning me from the inside. I felt like I was being gagged, I choked and all these pink frothy suds formed around my lips," he looked down sadly. "I was scared. I couldn't breath – I thought I was going to die."

"Really?" asked Rosie, shocked. "It was that bad?"

"It was horrible. I was so desperate to get away from them – all these people watching me, laughing at me."

"Did they do anything else?" he shot daggers at her as he faced her. "I didn't mean that that wasn't enough!" she added quickly.

"Yes, they did more," he continued heavily. "This girl – Lily Evans as she was then – came over and tried to stop them, but they wouldn't listen. And then I finally managed to shoot a spell at Potter, I cut his face," he smirked, a satisfied look on his face. "There was blood all over the smarmy git's robes."

"I bet he didn't like that," Rosie laughed weakly.

Severus' face fell. His jaw was set and he looked positively stone-like. He spoke again, though his voice sounded laboured and Rosie noticed a dull red flush creeping up his neck. "He didn't," he said quietly, though she could hear every word. "He – whirled around – and – and turned me," he didn't seem to want to tell Rosie. "He turned me upside down in mid-air. My robes fell over my head and all that was on display were my skinny little legs and – my," he stopped, "my greying underwear," he spoke the last part in little more than a desperate whisper, his face burning.

Rosie looked at him. He didn't look at her. Though she felt so incredibly sorry for him, being embarrassed like that, she also felt anger coursing through her. How could someone do that to another person? Didn't they realise what it did to the people they bullied? It must have been over twenty years since Severus had been picked on but he still hadn't got over it.

"Everyone thought it was hilarious," he spat bitterly. "These kids cheered," his lips were twitching. "They let me down – after Evans had told them to – but then they just did it again – once she had gone. I was so humiliated," he said, leaning heavily on every word. "So utterly humiliated. And I had to face these people every day – for the rest of my school life. Even years later people still thought it was one of the funniest things they'd seen."

Rosie felt tears in the corner of her eyes and hugged him to her. "I'm so sorry Sev," she murmured. "I had no idea."

"It's not your fault," he said. "It was theirs."

Rosie smiled gently, "Do you want to stop? You can let this all out another time."

"That was it," he said glumly. "Unless you want me to get a diary – I'm sure I could find some interesting things in there."

"That's not what I meant – I meant what you were going to say before I interrupted."

"What was I saying before you interrupted?" he asked distractedly.

"You were just saying that Potter and Black – then you stopped. You were saying how hard it was to make friends," she said, nuzzling him with her nose.

Severus was so taken that she had actually remembered what he had said that he cleared his throat and said, "I'd like to carry on, if you don't mind," she shook her head. "Well – Black and Potter. How else can I describe them? They were the life and soul of the party. I admit that I was jealous – I could never even start a conversation – they could make friends as easy as breathing and they were so popular and well liked. My lack of social skills left me isolated – with no one to protect me or tell me that I was doing wrong. If you think about it Rosie, you have so many people to confide in. When we – you know – broke up, you told Alina, she gave you advice. I had no one, I had to make my own mistakes and my God I've learned from them."

"But," said Rosie feeling slightly saddened, this was clearly going to be a sorry tale. "But – surely at home – surely there was someone at home that you could talk to?"

He snorted. "Not really. I have one sister, called Leticia. She's six years older than me and a hell of a lot more beautiful. She always considered me to be inferior to her. She used to make me do things for her – oh no! Not like that! There wasn't any incest in the Snape family – thank God, we're insane enough already.

"No, she – I can't explain it. She bullied me a bit but it was nothing that I couldn't handle or indeed dish straight back at her. She used to shout at me a lot, I suppose that it was her way of venting her frustration about mother and father."

There was a pause. Severus had tensed ever so slightly as he mentioned his parents. This was obviously a big part of the making of Severus Snape. Home life has an enormous effect on a person; Severus' parents were clearly a symbol of misery for him.

"My parents," he laughed briefly and mirthlessly. "They were the worst. They were a pair of loveless fools. I don't quite know the history – all that I know is that the Snapes and the Hammels were close. They thought that it would be a good idea to match their respective children to each other. I know that my mother, Edith Hammel, was in love with another man but she was pressurised into matrimony with my father.

"He – my father, was a strong man. Physically, I mean. He was tall and broad but for all of that strength he was a coward and – he was furious that my mother did not love him – though I doubt he felt any attraction towards her, it was just a smack in the face for him," he grimaced and said, "How ironic." Rosie didn't understand the comment but she felt that it had something to do with his choice of words previously. He continued. "They constantly argued. Every day, and night if you were lucky. I remember as a child-"

He broke off. Rosie was faintly surprised. His story was flowing so well. Rosie stroked his hair in what she hoped was a comforting way. He cleared his throat and continued.

"I remember as a child listening to them shouting and ranting and raving. It was always over something stupid and trivial – like the evening meal or my mother not moving to let him sit in his favourite chair. But that regardless I hated hearing them shout.

"I knew at the time that my mother was not well. It wasn't until later that she told me that she had post-natal depression – after she had had me, of course. My father was an idiot. He saw her as being insane just because depression isn't a physical disease. He would not let her have treatment because he feared that he was married to a madwoman!

"Arguments raged about that topic for years, even after she felt better – though she never fully recovered. She was always very melancholic. Then I got brought into the arguments. My father hated me because he said that I was the reason that my mother didn't love him. It was crap of course and I knew it, but it's hard to say that to a six foot two man when you are six."

He stopped again and sniffed loudly.

"What was your father's name?" Rosie asked quietly.

"Maximus Snape," he said and she heard the resentment in his voice.

"Do you want to talk about this another day?"

"No! I'm in full swing now!" he said derisively and started up his tale again.

"Maximus, as far as I can remember, wasn't always unkind. But it changed when I was very young. He started drinking when I was about five. He used to go out and come back drunk, it was terrifying. He used to stagger into the house stinking of alcohol and cigarettes."

Severus' voice had become quieter and quieter since he had started talking about his father. This was obviously one of the most vivid parts of his life. Rosie thought of how she would react if her father staggered into the house pissed. She couldn't even imagine it.

"At first he just shouted at my mother – and at me. But then he got more aggressive. He'd come into the house and he'd scream at mother – she was a witty woman and could hold her own in a verbal battle but Maximus was a violent man. When he'd had enough of shouting he would hit her. I used to sit outside the door and listen to them just waiting for the blow to come.

"The worst part was that there was nothing I could do. I was weak – I was a child! If my mother didn't stand a chance neither did I.

"Then his violent tendencies changed. He got drunk on a more regular basis, about once every week and he started to turn on me. I was about six years old when he first hit me."

"He hit you?" asked Rosie, there were tears in her eyes from the horror of what she was hearing.

"Yes, I can't even remember why. I think I'd knocked a plant pot over or something," he let out a laconic laugh. "He just turned to me and said, 'You ugly imbecile!' that was it – and then he slapped me with the back of his hand straight across the face."

Rosie winced and kissed him softly on the cheek. "How often did he hit you?"

"Whenever he felt like it really," Severus said frowning deeply. "It was a common occurrence. He hit my mother more at first and then he turned on me. I used to go to Hogwarts black and blue. Nobody even cared," he spat out bitterly.

"Was there a reason that he did it?"

"To this day I don't fully know. My mother got depression which annoyed Maximus and he blamed it on me. That's the only explanation I have."

"Did you always refer to him as Maximus – when you spoke to him?"

"I tried not to speak to him, but if I did – I suppose that when I addressed him as a child I called him 'father'. As an adolescent it varied – depending on my mood," he smirked. "I certainly don't refer to him as 'father' now. And anyway, he never felt like a father to me. He might as well have died for all I would have cared."

There was a silence for a number of minutes. Severus didn't know how to continue and Rosie didn't know what to say. She held him for that silent amount of time and stroked his face gently. He did not back away or withdraw from her touch, quite the contrary, he lent into her hand as if to encourage her.

"I missed you when you weren't here," he murmured into her hair.

"I missed you too. And I will miss you when you go back to Hogwarts. When does term start?" said Rosie latching on to the change of topic.

"On the fifth, it's four days away."

"Right. When can you come back?"

"I have no idea," he said stretching. "Not for a while I expect."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Minerva will insist that I abstain from any sexual relations until an appropriate time."

"She said it to you before?"

"No, but can't you just hear her? The Immaculate Conception commanding me from on High!"

"Don't you start. You know that you love her."

"I love you more."

It took a few seconds for Rosie to realise the significance of what he had said. She glanced at him and saw that he wore an expression of shock, his eyebrows were slightly raised and his mouth slightly open.

"Did – do you mean it?" Rosie asked, she wanted to know whether it was a slip of the tongue.

"I – I find it hard to express my feelings – you must know that by now!" he said dryly.

"But do you love me?" Rosie persisted.

He looked at her seriously, his black, fathomless eyes boring into hers. She stared straight back, not daring to blink. Then he said, "Yes. I love you – very much."

Rosie's heart leapt. Of course that she knew that deep down, but to hear it from his own mouth, from his heart was a lovely experience. She kissed him passionately on the lips. He sighed ever so slightly and opened his mouth. Rosie was just beginning to lose her perception of where she was when she remembered what she dearly wanted to know.

She broke off, Severus looked at her enquiringly. "Sev, how long has it been since you saw your family?"

His face fell, he hadn't been smiling before but he had looked happier. Rosie wondered whether she had gone too far. He flopped back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Not since I was nineteen."

"Nineteen? But – that's practically twenty years isn't it?"

"It is indeed. I hadn't realised how decrepit I was," he said.

"But why haven't you seen them in all that time?"

"Maximus banished me from the house, he told me that I was no son of his and that I should never return. My sister never contacted me either."

"Why did you get thr-"

"He found out that I was a Death Eater – the irony was that I had just left."

"I thought he would have been the kind to support Voldemort."

Severus jumped. "Don't say the bloody name!" he hissed.

"It's only a name," Rosie said, slightly affronted.

"He's more to me than a name," said Severus acidly. "Just because you got off lucky."

"Okay, calm down," I shouldn't have said anything, she thought.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just don't feel like talking about him or Maximus at all."

"Can I ask one last thing?"

"I'm assuming that I don't really have a choice," he said with a slightly raised brow.

Rosie smiled gently and then said, "Why did you leave the Death Eaters?"

Whatever Rosie had expected it was not this. Severus became totally rigid. He didn't move a muscle for at least a minute. His expression was suddenly very dark, his brow was furrowed and his eyes had a malicious yet strangely sad glint in them. He sat up in the bed and then put his head in his hands. He sat still for a moment and then dropped his arms. He breathed heavily as though calming himself and then after what seemed an age he turned slowly and faced Rosie.

"You're not going to like this," he said slowly and solemnly.

_A/N: If you read, please review, and make my day. On such a large website, I'm sure that there are more than four (wonderful) people who read this story!_

_An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: Cheers m'dear! And I have updated soon!_

_chitana: Aw, thank you! That review really made me smile; much appreciated!_

_snip-snippet: I'm glad you like Alina – and how did you spot that plot development!! Lol. That will all come in time, my dear. Glad you are enjoying it, and, although I don't usually take kindly to deadlines, I have taken heed of your request and updated, quick sharp!_

_tab-sempai: I really think you missed something. To put something in the fireplace is a phrase, and one which I commonly use – I don't really care who else uses it, but it is a phrase. A fire**place, **as opposed to the fire, means that Rosie put the bowl down on the tiles, on the floor, that surrounded the fire in the grate. You can sweep fireplaces, so why can't you put a bowl down in one? I do it all the time, so forgive me for saying that last time I checked, I did put my china bowl down in the fireplace._ _Thanks for reviewing._


	16. And Nothing But The Truth

A/N: I've been concerned about posting this chapter ever since I began posting the story. I'd always had it in mind that this plot-line would unfold, but I still am worried that people might not like the subject matter. It's not particularly gruesome, there's no violence in the chapter, but I wasn't sure that everyone would like it. The story isn't based around this development but I think that Rosie needs to know what happened. Ah well, hope that you guys don't track me down or even worse, SPAM me!

Chapter 16: And Nothing But the Truth

"Well, I didn't – I don't like the fact that you were a Death Eater," said Rosie reasonably. "But that doesn't mean that-"

"I killed my mother."

There was a stunned silence. Severus was not looking at her but into middle-distance. Rosie had the distinct impression that he wanted to see how she would take the admission.

"You what?"

"Murdered her," he said calmly.

"You-"

"You heard what I said, I have no wish to repeat myself," he said, very calmly, so calm that it was unnatural.

"But – why?" asked Rosie.

"It's complicated," he said. "Tell me that you will listen to the whole thing before making any decisions."

"I'm not promising you anything!" she said slightly hysterically but then she saw his face and forced herself into a calmer state. "I'll try," she said.

Severus pursed his lips and got out of bed. He sat down again on the very edge with his face turned away from Rosie so that all she could see was his fabric covered back.

"I – I don't really know how to begin," he paused for a moment, apparently thinking how to tell the truth and then began. "I was a Death Eater from a young age. I was barely an adult and really had no idea what I was doing. I was led into things and although I agreed readily to them at the time I don't think I really knew what I was doing."

He sighed and then said. "No, that's not true. I knew exactly what I was doing. I just didn't think it would be hard to do," he laughed harshly.

"From the very first time I every had to kill someone I hated it. It was before I'd even seen the poor victim that I felt awful. My heart raced and I thought that I would pass out from the strain. They gave me this poor tortured sod and told me to finish him off.

"I'd killed things before. There used to be flies in my room at home. When I was in there on my own I used to shoot them down imagining every one to be Maximus Snape.

"But to do it to a person. A person who actually understands what is happening, who has already had horrific and unmentionable things done to them – is hard. But nevertheless I killed him. I didn't have to. I could have run from it but I didn't.

"Afterwards I was violently sick. The whole thing made my stomach churn."

He gulped and sighed yet again.

"After a while I couldn't live with myself. I wanted to die but I couldn't kill myself. I wanted to hide but there was nowhere. I was trapped in a sort of nightmare. And above all, like the selfish bastard that I am, I was scared that He would find out about my feelings and do away with me.

"I think that the Dark Lord must have noticed something because I am sure that he ordered this to happen. They captured my mother, I think that it was a test – to see whether I was loyal to him or to my family. The Death Eaters captured my mother and tortured her. They left her but made sure that she wasn't dead. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at home, doing nothing in particular but wondering where mother was. Then I felt this shooting pain down my arm and realised what it meant. I stood up and gathered my robes and mask-"

"What – your Death Eater mask? You had one?" asked Rosie. She realised, of course, that he must have had one. But someone the thought of him running around, murdering people like some glorified member of the Klu Klux Klan made her feel sick to the stomach.

"We all had them," said Severus heavily. "It was like our uniform. Anyway," he sighed. "I put the robes on and prepared to Apparate but for some reason I stopped and thought to myself. I didn't want to go – more than usual. I felt as though something truly awful was going to happen. Perhaps it was just because my mother was out God knows where, but I think I realised in my subconscious that it was going to be her there that night.

"I Apparated to the meeting point and they told me what I had to do – though I still didn't know exactly who it was I was suppose to kill. I walked into the room where she was being kept and saw her – my mother – on the floor bleeding, dying. She had already been tortured by the others – God, she looked awful. We were in this small room, there were no other Death Eaters there. I took off my mask and she looked at me, such fear and disappointment in her eyes – in me, her son! It made me feel worse than anything else had so far.

"I couldn't torture her or kill her. Who could? The woman who had given me life – the one friend that I had! I told her that I would just give it up, that I would tell them that I couldn't kill her – maybe this would be better if you saw it for yourself."

"How?" asked Rosie, realising that he had stopped with the tale.

"I made a Pensieve," he said. He had turned his body round but he was looking at the mattress and refused to look up.

"All right."

He got up and got his Pensieve from a drawer in his wardrobe. He handed it to her, still gazing at the floor.

"You can look at me you know," Rosie said.

He shook his head, "I don't think I could bare it."

Rosie took the Pensieve from his trembling hands and took it over to the chest of drawers in their room. Taking her wand from the tabletop, she prodded the substance that made up Severus' memories. At once the memories began to swirl round and round, a blur of colour and indistinct shapes. Finally the liquid became still and calm. Rosie gazed into the depths of the bowl and stared hard at the images that were starting to unfold beneath her eyes. She could see a room, as though she were looking down at it from a window in the ceiling. She squinted and saw a woman lying on the ground. She was unmoving and still, this was obviously Edith. Rosie swallowed and looked around the rest of the room; there was nothing – no Severus, no people – nothing.

Rosie prepared to enter his memories but something wouldn't let her. Perhaps, if she tried to forget this it would seem as though it had never happened. She didn't want to go into the Pensieve. She didn't want to see Edith die. She didn't want to see Severus murder her.

"It won't do any good, Rosie," came Severus' voice from behind her, "if you don't go in."

"I don't want to Severus," Rosie replied. "What if I can't forgive you?"

"And you think that you can just pretend this never happened?" he asked softly. "I've been doing that for years and it hasn't worked. You should know."

"I don't want to see you murder, I'll never be able to act like you didn't!" Rosie burst out. Her back was still to him; she didn't want to see his face.

"I know," he said after a while. "But – please," he begged her in a whisper. "Please."

Rosie bent further over the bowl and put her head nearer to the surface of the mysterious substance. She took a deep breath and then let her nose touch the surface of his memories. At once she felt as though she had been thrown headfirst into the basin. She tried to gasp but she couldn't. There was nothing else but her now – Rosie swirling in a mist of misery.

_Author's comments:_

_CicadaInvasion – Thank you so much! (grin) There's a long way to go yet, never fear! Pleased that you're enjoying it!_

_tab-sempai – Don't worry about it; I'm glad that I was able to clear things up for you. Hope that you're still reading and enjoying…_

_Yuna Black – Thanks for the review, and I know the limitations of this site and it's viewing capacity; nevertheless it is slightly disheartening. Thanks for the vote of confidence, though – I will keep writing. This is a labour of love, I'm not giving it up!_

_ButterflyOfLothlorien – I updated as soon as I could! Lol. Thanks for keeping with me!_

_snip-snippet – You may call me 'Obie', I confess I don't mind such familiarity. Ah, now I don't know that Severus killed someone with a frying pan, per se…only a close family member! Yes, Maximus is an idiot – there will be more to come of him… Oh my goodness, you really have read my friend's mind – she wants me to write a side fiction about Alina and Remus. Are you sure you're not the same person? Lol. Thanks for the review, and the side note to potential reviewers!_


	17. The Pensieve

_**A/N: **Apologies for not updating sooner! Life is hectic, life is cruel and life has not given me enough time to log in and update! If you're lucky, I might see if I can get another couple of chapters up post-haste. Thanks to all those who read and review – and thanks to those who have stuck with the story, even after the long wait. _

Chapter 17: The Pensieve

Rosie landed on the ground and staggered a few paces. She looked around; she was in a squalid room devoid of furniture or anything colourful. The room was lifeless. The walls were a dingy grey and there were streaks of damp down them. She looked to her right and gasped. There was a small figure huddled on the ground, shaking like a leaf. Rosie moved towards her and jumped as the figure spread herself out so that she was lying flat on her back, staring at the ceiling. Rosie looked at Edith Snape for the first time in her life.

So that's Edith, Rosie thought sombrely. Edith was an interesting looking woman. At first Rosie was tempted to call her ugly, but that wasn't true. Her face wasn't one of great natural beauty but there was something characterful in her appearance that made her face appealing.

She had dark hair that had several grey streaks in it. Her face was thin and gaunt and Rosie knew that that was probably due to beating rather than her natural appearance. She had a very long straight nose, about the same size as Severus', though not the same shape. Her eyes were dark and beady and at the present time watery. There were bruises on her cheeks and under her eyes. She looked in such a lot of pain, her thin mouth twisted in agony.

Suddenly the woman cried out in a pain-filled moan. Rosie wanted to help her, she wanted to comfort her. She couldn't explain it – even though she knew that there was nothing that she could do, she still felt callous at watching a tortured woman who was about to die a horrific death. Tilting her head back she looked at the ceiling, wondering whether Severus could see her looking up. She didn't want to be here, she wanted to get out.

Then a noise made Rosie's head snap back down and look to her left. The door to the room had opened and a thin figure had stepped in. He was dressed in grey and had a Death Eater mask covering his face. He shut the door and walked slowly and jerkily towards Edith Snape – it was clearly Severus.

He knelt down beside his mother and pulled down his hood revealing long lank hair. It was longer than it was at the present time; it was cascading down his back giving him a more gangly look than ever.

Edith shut he eyes and refused to look at the figure – she apparently hadn't realised that it was Severus beneath the robes. The Death Eater pulled his hood off his head and Rosie watched as his long lank hair fell to below his shoulders. It looked unkempt, unclean and a lot longer than it was at the present time. Then he pulled the mask from his face and Rosie gasped as she saw her lover's younger self.

He was easily recognisable with his long hair, thin gaunt face and hooked nose but somehow he looked very different. He looked younger, less sure of himself and upset. His thin lips were twitching as he tried to think what to say. His eyes weren't fathomless pools of black, they were transparent sheets, clearly displaying his fear and horror. The younger Severus swallowed and took in a shuddering breath and then brought out a thin hand and touched her arm.

"Mother?" he whispered hoarsely.

Edith's eyes snapped open and her head snapped round to look at her son. "Severus?" she whispered, aghast. Her eyes were wide and disbelieving.

He nodded, he seemed incapable of speech.

"I thought – you – of all people," it seemed to be a strain for her to speak.

"Ssh," said Severus softly, reaching forwards and touching her shoulder gently. "Don't speak."

"Why _you_ though?" she gasped. "After everything."

He bowed his head solemnly. "I'm sorry," he croaked. "I'm _so_ sorry."

"So," said Edith, something like an ironic grin flickered over her pain-stricken face. "You're here to finish me off!"

Severus said nothing for a while. He sat there and stared at her, at the ceiling, at the floor. Then he let out a breath and said, "That's what they told me."

"I see," she said quietly. "Torture?"

"They didn't specify," said Severus sneering, "but I would guess that that is what they wish."

Suddenly Edith sobbed uncontrollably; Severus looked shocked and held her tentatively to himself, hugging her. "Of all the people," she choked out. "Why you? Why you, Severus? You're the only one I ever gave a damn about!"

"That's not true – Leticia-"

"You were the only one who cared about me!" she cried. "Oh, the irony of it."

He held her for the briefest moment, waiting for his mother to stop wailing before he said,

"Mother – I can't do this."

"Don't give me that clap trap!" she cried furiously, angry tears escaping her eyes. "You wouldn't have joined if you couldn't do _this."_ She hit his shoulder limply with every word that she uttered, then she collapsed, trembling onto her son's chest and broke down completely.

Severus stared into the distance, apparently thinking to himself and then he repeated, "I can't do this."

Edith broke away from him and cried, "You have to!" 

"I don't," said Severus defiantly. "I won't – I'll just – just have to tell them I can't," he finished lowering his head realising how naïve his words sounded.

"You can't just go out and tell the _Death Eaters_ that you don't fancy finishing me off!" said his mother drawing in a shuddering breath.

"I know," said Severus softly. "I know. But – why don't I just run for it – take you with me?"

"You'll be killed!"

"I don't care. I can't murder you. You're the only decent person in my life!" he said.

"No," she hissed desperately as Severus made to stand up. She coughed as seemed to find it increasingly hard to form words. "If you run – we'll both die! It'll be worse! Just finish me off painlessly – better!" She coughed. "There's nothing…"

Severus looked at her, horrified. Rosie saw him look down at the point where his hands supported his mother's torso and watched as he brought them back. The palms were glistening – Edith seemed to be dying without the help of her son.

"I can't mother," he said and Rosie saw the faintest shine of tears in his eyes.

"Do it! I don't want to live!"

"I can't!"

"I'm begging you Severus. Murder me! I can't take this anymore," she screamed at him. "Please!"

He looked at her, "I – ca-"

"Oh for goodness sake, boy," she said with a seemingly abrupt return to a snappish manner. "Don't lose yourself in sentimentality," she sniffed and wiped her eyes with a shaking, thin hand. "There's a world out there. You can do better than crying over _me_ – I'm just a foolish, depressed woman."

"If you're trying to imply that you're worthless then-" started Severus.

"Oh, but I am!" she said, her eyes livid. "Maximus was right!" Severus opened his mouth but she continued brusquely. "If all I've given to world is _you_ then I might as well have not bothered."

The words stung him, there was no doubt about it, but he made no mention and did not speak except to utter his habitual comment in times of distress, "I see." Severus made to stand up but his mother caught him by the wrist and bent him over. "I didn't," she choked. The emotion was too much for her. "Promise me one thing," she whispered hoarsely.

"Anything," Severus murmured back, holding her hands tightly in both of his.

"Leave them," she said simply. Severus looked at her and Rosie realised that she meant the Death Eaters. Severus gazed intently into her face and then nodded solemnly and said, "I will."

Severus straightened himself up to his full height, which wasn't very impressive in the situation. He brushed his robes down as though there was something that he needed to rid himself of. Severus and Edith shared a glance for the last time, Severus was the first to look away and become interested in the dirty floor. There was a moment of silence and then Severus raised his wand and cried, "Avada Kedavra!"

A burst of green light issued from Severus' wand. It shot directly at Mrs. Snape, she looked slightly surprised and then she fell to the ground and remained still and limp.

Severus dropped to his knees and leant over the body. He looked into her face and held his fingers to her wrist to check for a pulse. He dropped her hand to the ground and breathed in heavily, a solitary tear making its way down his face.

He leant over her once again and planted a single kiss on her forehead. "I hope you've gone-" and stopped. There were footsteps outside the door. Someone called,

"You done in there, Snape? She gone?" he laughed harshly.

Severus looked more disgusted than ever as he stood up. He grimaced and then picked up his Death Eater mask and fixed it shakily to his face. Rosie watched as the young yet oh-so-familiar face became obscured by a wall of grey. All that she could see were his eyes, glittering from behind the mask. A sigh issued from behind the wall disguising Severus and then he said harshly,

"Yes. She's gone."

Rosie felt herself rising into the air. She flipped over and landed in her room. The bright light hurt her eyes, she had been so used to the dull grey of the room.

She winced and turned around to see Severus standing in the corner near the door. She waited for her eyes to adjust and then looked at him properly. He looked very nervous, he was bent over slightly, his lips pursed and his brow furrowed, he was also holding his hands and twisting them somewhat unconsciously.

He suddenly noticed that she was staring at him and he straightened immediately. He put his arms behind his back and stared at her coldly. For a moment Rosie was taken aback, but then she realised that Severus was preparing for a fight, he was merely blocking out his own weaknesses – like emotion – in a form of defence.

Rosie stared at him and he looked straight at her, unblinking.

"Now you know," he said slowly and deeply.

"Now I know," Rosie repeated.

"And?" asked Severus, somewhat cautiously.

"I don't know," said Rosie. "I think I need some time."

"Oh no, Rosie, please don't leave!"

"I'm not going to – at least I wasn't planning on it. I'm going to go for a walk. I need to clear my head a bit, it's – it's a bit stale in here. I'll be back. I just need to think about what I saw."

"That's all there is Rosie, that's the truth," he stately blandly as she walked past him. Rosie stopped and turned and gave him a half-smile.

"I know, Severus. I believe you."

Rosie walked into her old room, the one that she had first used when she had moved into Severus' house. It was now a dressing room. Many of Rosie's clothes were still in this room as well as in her and Severus'. She quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, a jumper and some socks and walked downstairs. She chanced a look into their bedroom as she walked past and she saw Severus sitting on his side of the bed with his face buried in his hands.

She forced herself to not go into their room and comfort him but instead walked down the stairs into the hall. She put on her boots and her coat and hat and walked out of the front door.

The ground was cold and icy and Rosie shivered and wished that she had remembered to put on her scarf. She decided not to go back in the house to retrieve it and began to make her way down the road and towards the busy main street. When she had gone past the shops she carried on walking until she came to a vast expanse of green – the local park.

Rosie took the path leading into the park and then about a half a mile in wandered off and attempted to get lost in the woodland. She wanted to be alone and away from prying eyes, she wanted to drift into her own reverie. She needed some time to think.

Rosie burrowed her hands in to the deep pockets of her coat and thought for a moment whilst crashing through the twigs and debris that littered the ground. Then she came to a thick bit of woodland that did not look recently disturbed. Glancing around Rosie saw a log lying in a sheltered corner of the woodland. It was half hidden by an overgrown bush and the log itself was covered in dew. She moved over to the log and tentatively lowered herself onto it. Then she slumped over, looking at the ground and running her hands through her hair firmly. Her mind was racing; images and colours were flying through her mind. She needed to get it in order to sort out this mess for herself.

Severus had killed his mother. It was a fact; he had not denied it. He had murdered her in cold blood, taking the away the life of a family member and not only that, the closest family member you could get. 

"Oh dear God," said Rosie limply. "Oh – God."

How could this be happening now? Why did her seemingly perfect boyfriend have to turn out to be a murdering lunatic? Why did everything seem to be against them – the break-up, the fallout, the revelation, the second revelation. Why didn't everything disappear – vanish – like the happiness Rosie thought that she could find with Severus?

Rosie wiped her eyes with a shaking hand and drew in a deep breath. How could she live with this? He had _murdered_ Edith. Rosie shook her head morosely and sank her head lower than it already was. How could things ever be the same?

However, as Rosie thought about what she had just witnessed, she had to admit that there were so many other factors. Severus didn't randomly murder his mother – even though Rosie wasn't entirely convinced that that made it at all better.

"She was captured, though," Rosie muttered, as though in a daze. Her eyes were closed, a frown on her forehead, her fingers still tangled in her hair. "He didn't do that."

So, he hadn't wanted it to happen in the first place. So what? He still murdered his own damn mother. "But he didn't have a choice," Rosie said.

Oh but he did, said a niggling voice in her head. Everyone has a choice – he made a choice. Severus _chose_ to murder her. She didn't beg him to.

But she did – Edith told him to, said another voice. She wanted him to.

Only because she didn't want to be tortured by other Death Eaters. I'm sure that Edith Snape would not have chosen to be murdered by her son if she had had another option.

"What else could he have done?" moaned Rosie quietly, frowning deeply. "How else could it have ended? If he had run away then they would have both been caught – they would both be dead. I wouldn't know him."

_Is that such a bad thing?_ the little voice said wickedly to Rosie.

Rosie stood up. That was the first doubt – other than the obvious – over whether she really wanted to know him. She was confused. He'd put her through so much, so very, very much. She felt hurt and scared and angry all in one. How could one man possibly make her feel so much?

"Because I'm in love with him," sighed Rosie and sank back onto the log. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

She thought of Severus and saw him sitting, downcast in the front room of the house, his head in his hands, his lank hair brushed roughly from his face. She felt sorry for him and that was when it hit her – Severus was a decent man. He had made terrible and awful mistakes in his life, but that's what they were – mistakes. Every time Rosie looked at Severus she saw pain and hurt. He was punishing himself every day for what had happened in the past, for what he couldn't change.

Yes, he had killed his own flesh and blood. Rosie had seen him do it and she was sure that she would never forget it. But he did seem truly repentant. His mother had begged to be killed by Severus. As Rosie thought more she was sure that Severus had no option but to do what he did. He could have run – with her – away from the turmoil. But what would that have achieved? They would both have been caught. Edith would have been tortured and murdered and Severus would have had to watch before the same fate befell himself. If he had not killed Edith then he would never have become a spy, he would never have taught, he would never have saved lives – he would only have destroyed them. In an odd and cruel way what he did was brave – 

"No," said Rosie out loud. "I can't glorify him."

But then, thought Rosie, I can't hate him either. I hate what he did but I don't hate him.

Rosie looked back over her shoulder, she could just see the park through the trees. Looking down at the ground she was able to get a picture of Edith's face in her mind. Edith seemed a highly intelligent and bitter person – rather like Severus. She had obviously known that he was involved in something like the Death Eaters even though she had seemed genuinely shocked when Severus had revealed his face. Edith had also been the one to cut through the 'clap trap', as she put it. There didn't seem to be a way to put anything past her, she wasn't a woman fond of sentiment or of reminiscence. She was a down-to-earth, forceful, strong-willed individual. Rosie also sensed that she was a person that would not (as her aunt put it) 'suffer fools gladly'. She could have seen things for what they really were and not as she wanted to see them when blinded by emotion.

Yet despite Edith hating Severus' initial attempts to apologise for the situation, she did not want him dead. Rosie thought that had she really been as shrewd as Edith was, she would have let Severus have told the Death Eaters that he did not want to murder his mother, for then Edith's killer would not have got away – this would apply, of course, if Severus really was that callous and calculating. However, Edith didn't seem to want him dead. Why? Because, well, she had said it herself – there was a whole other life to lead. One that didn't involve deceit and murder. It was as if Edith forgave Severus and wanted him to make another life away from what had been.

Also, Rosie thought of how Severus had reacted when she had claimed that she was ashamed of him. An angry, violent, unrepentant serial killer would not have let the cruel words wash over them, they would have shouted and hurt and lost their head. But Severus had just taken them, he was transparently wounded but he had clearly decided that they were suitable words to describe what he was about to do. Rosie stopped – he had killed his mother for Christ's sake – how was she taking this so well? How was she beginning to forgive him – again? But then her initial thoughts came back to her – there had been no other way out of the situation (as dreadful as it was). That chain of thought led her silently to her conclusion.

She sighed and nodded – she had thought long enough – she still loved Severus and she knew that he wouldn't be able to get over her leaving him again. She paced some more trying to decide whether she could actually live with what he had done, she again thought of Edith's pleadings that he should finish her off. Then Rosie thought of why Edith was in the situation in the first place – the Death Eaters were trying to test his allegiance. Rosie was immediately sickened.

But that wasn't Severus' fault. Well, it was – but he didn't ask them to bring him his mother. And then Rosie thought that it wasn't fair to blame Severus for the appearance of his mother. That was beyond his control and Rosie was confident that he would not have been part of the plot to get there in the first place – he was clearly as shocked as she was when they finally came face to face in that small dank room.

She frowned and then thought of Severus himself. He was at home, milling over things and probably worrying himself to ulcer-like proportions. Rosie looked around and her expression softened – _there_ was a reason to forgive him. Severus himself. He regretted every single action that he had taken. And more than that, he hadn't had to tell Rosie everything about his past. There probably would have been no way that she would have found about Edith's demise but even so Severus had felt the need to be honest and open about it. It was a commendable thing, even though it meant that Rosie had to carry yet another emotional burden. He trusted her beyond anyone else and although he thought that Rosie was unlikely to come back to live with him again he had still put his heart on the line to tell her the truth.

Rosie realised that it wasn't the best justification to go back to him – that he would be hurt it she didn't – but Rosie was desperate to any shred of justification now. She wanted to be with him. She trusted him. She loved him.

Rosie looked up at the sky. She needed to talk to him properly, to air everything that she was thinking about, that she was mulling over. She loved him, she knew that she always would, it was just whether or not she could live with him again after the last revelation.

"Only one way to find out," said Rosie heavily as she got up and walked back towards her house.

A/N 2: Ah, but is Rosie as convinced as she thinks she is?

_**Snip-snippet:** Thank you once again for your lovely reviews: you make my day! Hugs. My friend does think she's a genius, yes; I've tried to convince her otherwise but she won't listen. I'm sure you're not bragging – I bet your IQ's about 150 or something. :-D Yes, Severus and his mother, a rather cruel little plot twist, but, once again, you've got it one: he didn't really have a choice. _

_Thank you so much for the compliments, and especially the one about writing a book – that really is a compliment, so another round of big hugs. Cheers, snip-snippet! _

_**CicadaInvasion:** Thanks a lot. It's always hard to know how people will react to things like death and murder, etc, so that's why I was worried. _

**Lilegyptiangoddess:** Thank you, glad you like him:-D 

_**Amishgirl1281:** Sorry about keeping you waiting, things have got on top of me recently – work, etc. Time has really been short! I'm glad you've been enjoying it, and yes, there is a connection between the cats and Alan Rickman indeed. My pen name's very connected as well – which I'm sure you already realised! Thanks again for the review!_

_**Anonymouseccentric:** _

_In some respects, I do see your point of view. My writing at the beginning of the story is not – up to Trollope standard, but I do put that down to lack of experience – experience that I have gained, as is evident from chapters on other sites. I will also acknowledge that some things within this story do need to be fiddled with. I had planned to edit the story once more to smooth out a couple bumps, however, I have a few things to say about your review:_

1) You might not have noticed, whilst you were raising your blood pressure needlessly, but if Severus was purely evil and dark, he would never fall in love, and that would destroy an entire genre of fanfiction-writing.  
2) Rosie is the kind of person who would call him 'Sev', regardless of his feelings towards such an address. If you haven't noticed this then you clearly haven't read the story carefully enough.  
3) It may seem a foreign concept, but when you like someone, you tend to relax around them. As Severus loves Rosie, I don't find it unrealistic to expect Severus to be rather relaxed when talking to her.  
4) Point of the plot, my dear. As Sirius Black's parents lived in the middle of Muggle London, and they were described as anti-Muggle, it's not such a stretch of the imagination to believe that Severus, who in this fic – and in many others – is pro-Muggle, lives where other wizards have. Besides that, not all Slytherins are Muggle-born, and not all Slytherins are Death Eaters! They can't **all** live in Manor Houses.  
5) Dumbledore dresses Snape? Doesn't a grown man have a choice any more?  
6) The story is a fanfiction, which means that this is a story based on the characters in the novels. If you believe that all fanfiction is the author's belief of what will come to pass in the next two books, you have quite a lot to re-think.   
7) You know, I looked at it in the dictionary… def. Crap: infantile language, never used by Severus Snape. Dear me…  
8) I wouldn't go as far as 'simpering', but, apparently sadly, he is behaving tolerably to the person who he loves. Refer to point 1 and point 3.  
9) I don't think that counts as **advice.** Telling me my story is useless, and then telling me to decide to scrap it completely isn't actually helpful. 

_**I think the message is clear to you: do not read any further.** _


	18. Acceptance

**Chapter 18: Acceptance**

Rosie walked straight back to the house. At her road she jogged up to the gate that led to the path to the front door. She paused slightly to regain control of her breathing and then walked determinedly up to the front door. On opening the door she heard the faint smell of coffee, and knew instinctively that Severus would be in the front room, bent over, looking at the floor.

And sure enough, he was. He was sitting opposite the roaring fire in the open grate, gazing into the flames. She knew that Severus had realised that she had entered the house, she hadn't tried to be quiet, but he had made no sound or movement that conveyed that he even knew of her existence. Rosie knew that this was her cue to make the first move, to tell Severus what she thought. She could tell by his expression that he thought she would be leaving.

Suddenly she felt like her throat was tight and she knew, with a pang of horror, that the words she was about to utter were going to come out strained. "Severus, I think-" The emotion got the better of her and she began to cry, sobbing whole-heartedly into her hands.

Severus had stood up, looking concerned and unsure. He didn't know whether it was best to approach her or leave her to calm down. He would have chosen the latter – as a method of precaution (for he did not know what Rosie's opinion was – although the crying was giving him some clue) but he loved her, and he didn't think he could bear to watch her bawl. Severus stood before her and very gently touched her shoulders, as though encouraging her to lean into him. She seemingly took the hint, for she slumped into his body, her hands making fists that were clutching at his shirt material.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled by the tears and material. Severus, by way of response, nuzzled the top of her head with his nose. He hugged her to him gently and Rosie sighed and hugged him back.

She had thought that it would be easy to see Severus again – now that she had decided to give the whole situation one last chance to right itself. She had not anticipated that she would be so emotional when she actually came face to face with Severus. Rosie had had the whole speech planned out in her head; she could hear his responses. But now the plan was abandoned as unresolved emotion spilled over. Rosie found that all she really wanted was Severus' comfort. The words and the discussion could wait for as long as it took. At the moment the room was quiet – and the silence was a lot easier to cope with. 

A while later Severus and Rosie were sitting on the sofa opposite the fire. They were both gazing into the orange flames, their minds wandering over indistinct topics, neither one wanting to break the silence that had hung over them since Rosie's return. Rosie had her head on his chest and his arm was around her shoulder, his fingers gently stroking and winding in and out of her dark brown hair that was falling across her face.

"We need to talk." It was Severus who stated this. He sighed and continued, "I – I don't really know what to say. You don't seem to either," he prompted.

There was a moment's silence before Rosie said slowly, "I don't know what to think."

The silence became their solace, as it had done before, and Severus resumed his gently stroking whilst Rosie closed her eyes, trying to block out everything in front of her – Severus included.

"I had a speech all planned," said Rosie solemnly. "I had it planned that I would come in and I would tell that I'd thought about what had happened and that I couldn't believe it – and then I would tell you that you were obviously repentant and that I still loved you, despite everything."

"What now though?" asked Severus.

"Seeing you – it makes me think – I can't say what exactly," she felt her throat tighten painfully again. "I can't say what I wanted; I can't face you without crying – God, this hurts, Sev."

"I know," he said sorrowfully. "I wish I could make it stop hurting, Rosie."

"The Pensieve makes things clearer. You didn't say that she'd already been captured and that you were just there to finish up. I don't see what you could have done differently. It was so twisted."

"I thought it best for you to see it," he replied. "And I could have done a lot differently," he added.

"Like what? Like hand yourself in as well? What do you think that would have achieved? You would have died – and then you would never have become a spy. You would never have made up for what you did."

"I know," he said again. "It's sometimes hard to justify what I did using that excuse, though."

"I know," Rosie said.

"So, where – what happens?" asked Severus, shifting in his seat so that he could look at Rosie properly.

"I love you," said Rosie, staring at him. "I still do."

"I sense that there may be a continuation of this sentence," muttered Severus.

"I want to be with you," said Rosie and Severus looked stunned. "I've thought about everything and I still can't believe that you murdered – your own mother," she couldn't quite bring herself to say it. "But after seeing it in the Pensieve, it seems that you had no other alternative. And, besides that, sitting here with you doesn't seem nearly as difficult as I thought it would be."

"So – you're staying here?"

"We're still together, if that's what you mean. This will take me a while to adjust to but – but we'll manage. God, I just feel so heavy."

"I don't want to hurt you again."

"You won't," said Rosie, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm frightened that I might," he murmured slowly.

"Hmm?" she said, instinctively grasping his hand. He tightened his hold on her hand. 

"I was a Death Eater, Rosie," he sighed.

"Don't I know that," Rosie said wryly. "I just wish that you hadn't been."

"Rosie – I – I'm going to sound pathetic," he finished miserably.

"What?" asked Rosie, looking at him quizzically.

"I'm afraid of you trusting me like this – so completely, so unquestioningly," he said very seriously. "Not many people would want to stay with someone like me – but you do."

"So – wait, you didn't want to tell me in the first place because you thought that you'd lose me – and now that I forgive you, you wish that I would hate you?" replied Rosie, feeling more than slightly angry. "I gave you _everything_, for God's sake, Severus! I love you! Christ, does that mean _nothing_ to you? The only reason," she paused for a fraction, breathing heavily. "The only damn reason I forgave you was because you've reformed – apparently! What are you telling me? That you're a secret member?"

Severus rolled his eyes angrily. "No! For God's sake, shut up for a second!" Rosie fell silent. "This is what I mean! You say that it means nothing but then as soon as I mention it you seem to think that, for some twisted reason, I've gone back! I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable!" he finished and Rosie knew that he was being genuinely concerned. "I don't want you to live – with me – wondering all the time whether I've gone back."

"You will never, will you?" asked Rosie softly.

He sighed. "Rosie," he said desperately. "It would-" he stopped and looked away. "It doesn't matter."

"What?" asked Rosie gently, feeling that if he wanted to say something at this stage in their conversation, he should probably say it.

"It would cost me everything," he said heavily. "The little trust that I have accumulated, my job, you – my own conscience. Do you _honestly_ think that I could go back? Really? This – what I am doing now – means everything to me."

"And I don't?" asked Rosie. She knew that he hadn't meant that, but she still felt like she had to question him.

"I think you know that that's not true," he said. "The fact that I deem myself unworthy of you does not mean that you mean so little to me. Quite the reverse."

"You're not-"

"Rosie," he said firmly, as though she was one of his students. "This is not the issue at hand."

"I know it isn't," replied Rosie. "You're supposed to be nervously telling me why I shouldn't trust me – and you're supposed to be expecting me to think that the reason I shouldn't trust you has got nothing to do with the Death Eaters," said Rosie sarcastically. "Can you not see why I was slightly apprehensive. You know, don't question me on whether I think you've gone back or not, because I just don't know what to think anymore! I thought that you were my perfect man, my soul mate – whatever you want to call it. And now! Well, now I find that I was completely wrong! I _want_ to believe that you've reformed – and I _do_ -– but it's – hard to move on so soon, as though nothing has happened."

Severus ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter."

"It does!" he cried, looking around at her. "Will you stop saying that it doesn't?"

Rosie was slightly taken aback. "What do you want me to say, then?"

Severus looked at her hard. She looked determinedly back at him, trying to decipher those dark pools of obsidian, trying to understand what it was he was feeling – whether it was irritation, anger or upset – but to no avail. He gave away nothing; he just stared silently and calmly at her.

"What do you want me to say?" she repeated.

"Do you still love me?" asked Severus levelly.

"Of course I do," said Rosie.

"Do you still want to be here – with me? Does it seem realistic to you?"

Rosie sighed and leant back on the sofa. "God knows, I want it to be realistic. I want to give this another chance – more than that," she shook her head, "I want to be with you."

Severus swallowed, looking as though something she had said had hit him hard. "Then – I want you to tell me what I can do – to make it easy for you to live with me."

Rosie looked at him and then said, after a moment's thought, "Don't pretend that I don't know, don't pretend that this hasn't happened – just – I don't know – move on. Just love me."

There was long silence before Severus asked slowly, "Just love you?" He looked at her seriously. "I never stopped."

Rosie's heart skipped a beat.

_Author's comments:_

_Thanks to all those who read, and hopefully this update didn't leave you waiting too long!_

_**Tab-sempai: **Thanks for the review! Glad you are still enjoying the story!_

_**An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: **Thanks, and have done!_

_**ButterflyOfLothlorien: **I will never abandon this fic; it means far too much to me! Life's very hectic at the moment, and I'm also a fairly lazy person, so sometimes updates do come rather later than others. I've pretty much written the story, and am editing it as I go along…believe me, this story has changed so many times since I first starting writing it! Thanks for supporting me over the reviewer as well. Cheers!_

_**Lilegyptiangoddess: **Thank you so much! Your review really cheered me up, and I'm glad that I have such an effect on you! It's really great to know that my story has connected with you. I have now looked at your stats, and yes, you do seem to read a lot of stories! I'm glad I'm one of those that you are fond of. You are very welcome to chat with me on MSN. I accidentally let my account become inactive, but as soon as I create a new one, I'll add you. What is your address? Cheers!_

_**Snip-snippet: **Well, it's your lucky day…have another hug! Thanks for the review. I'm sorry that sullen-Severus has bored you, and I promise that things will get cheerier. His life has been rather messed around with recently. One more chapter of brooding and then I promise that things get lighter! There's always a bit of a drama around the corner though. I am no where near done with these two! Thanks, snip-snippet!_


	19. The Average Couple

**Chapter 19: The Average Couple**

There was silence in the house at the present time. Life had seemed to be quieter since the conversation that had ensued between Severus and Rosie. There had been many more conversations since the first. Rosie had told Severus everything that she could possibly think to tell him, and he had been more than willing to listen patiently. He never seemed to be angry with her, just – tired. In truth, Severus felt more than ever the guilt of the death of his mother.

However, their time together had been more enjoyable since the disastrous Christmas that they had shared. The changes that had occurred had not altogether been horrible. Severus' new-found honesty towards Rosie was certainly an improvement – even though this was not saying much about Severus' openness compared to most people's.

At the present, Rosie was sitting on the sofa watching the TV and Severus was lying on the same sofa in a sleepy state, his head resting in her lap. He seemed contented and hadn't moved for at least twenty minutes. Rosie, in the meantime, was contentedly staring down at his face, unable to believe that she could be so contented with Severus after the recent events. She loved the way that his hair fell about his face, obscuring the irregular lines of his jaw and mouth, making every view of his face unexpected and new. She could never tire of him. Never.

Her hand went to his hair; a sudden, irrepressible urge to touch Severus' raven strands had overcome her. A slight smile curved his lips as her hand traced his features, rubbing the curve of his ears and down his cheek. Rosie smiled contentedly and watched as he stretched luxuriously and moved his head closer to her own chest.

Rosie was just about to touch him again when Severus leant over and picked the remote off from the floor. He turned the TV off with a press of a red button – Severus had become very accustomed to that button.

"It's such a good invention," he said to Rosie, turning to lie flat on his back and looking into her eyes.

"What is? The telly?"

"No – well, it is an _ingenious_ thing isn't it?" he said almost excitedly. "But, no, I was referring to the remote control. It saves so much time and trouble."

"Spoken like a true lazy Muggle," said Rosie yawing and stretching her arms.

"How dare you!" he said indignantly, but his eyes were glittering playfully. "I think you may be getting me confused with some other person in our bedroom." He raised an eyebrow. "I hardly think that I am the one lazing around at eleven o'clock in the morning!"

"You're an insomniac dear, not an active person. Don't get the two confused," she said sardonically.

"I swear my sarcasm is wearing off on you."

"Suits you better."

"I'm aware of that," he said, then he shook his head. "I can't become tolerable, Rosie! The students will become dazed and confused!"

"Mmm, maybe I should aggravate you," said Rosie, closing her eyes.

"No, thank you. We've had enough aggravation."

"Are you glad that you talked about everything?"

"I haven't talked about everything," he said, gazing at her very steadily. "But I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders – forgive the cliché."

"I'll always be here when you feel like opening up some more."

He raised an eyebrow at her. She looked at him quizzically, but he refused to answer her and sat up on the sofa next to her, looking straight at her.

"What?" she asked but as she said that he moved forward and captured her lips with his. It was a short kiss – too short. He bent forward again and kissed her, this time lingering slightly longer. Rosie smiled slightly; he was teasing her. He bent forwards again and Rosie opened her mouth allowing his tongue entrance.

Rosie brought her arms around his neck, wrapping them tightly around him, her fingers touching the stray tendrils of black hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled back ever so slightly and began to kiss her more softly. Rosie captured his mouth again but he pulled away and turned to kiss her cheek.

He moved slowly and sensuously downwards, licking and nipping at her neck as he went. His hands went to the buttons of her shirt and he began to open them. She felt more exposed to him than any other man had ever made her feel. Severus' eyes were so intense that she felt like he was x-raying her, seeing into her soul.

He was now kissing her collarbone, shivers were going up and down her body. She moved forwards off the sofa slightly so that she could take her shirt off completely, she felt Severus' hands on her own as he helped her to take the offending item of clothing off.

Rosie's own arms then wrapped around his back, rubbing up and down his spine, hoping that he was feeling some of the wonderful sensations that she was.

He took his own shirt off and slung it haphazardly onto the floor along with Rosie's top. She could now see his bare flesh. It was so pale, Rosie thought, as though he hadn't been exposed to any sun. His skin was perfect, not a blemish in sight, just a wall of white flesh. She moved hands to his chest, which felt warm and slightly sweaty. He shivered at her touch and moved his hands to the buttons on her trousers.

This was going to be interesting, Rosie thought.

She sat up and took the wand out of her pocket and muttered the charm, 'Divestio'. Their clothes vanished and Rosie could see Severus in his full glory. His thin body with taut muscles. Rosie noticed some marks on his skin that she hadn't seen before –

So his skin is blemished, Rosie thought hazily but not letting it bother her too much.

He was above her, positioned and ready. She knew that he was as ready as she was. Severus looked at her, not speaking, but his eyes were asking her the question that he could not. Rosie moved her head ever so slightly and she knew that Severus would realise that it was a nod.

He seemed to, because he leaned closer to her and placed his lips over hers as he entered her.

There was silence except for their heavy breathing, Severus was collapsed on top of Rosie, his head resting on her shoulder.

"I love you," he muttered into her hair, his inhibitions about that phrase apparently washed away with the emotions of the moment. "So much. I can't tell you what you mean to me."

Rosie kissed his neck gently and closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his breathing returning to normal. "Thank you for forgiving me," he added softly, nudging her ever so slightly with his nose.

"Severus," said Rosie finally. "I care for you; nothing can change that. Anyway, I should be thanking you!" she finished with a grin.

"Why?" he asked. She knew that if she could've seen his face he would have been rolling his eyes.

"If it weren't for your eloquent room advertisement, none of this would have happened."

Severus snorted. "Are you sure that that is a good thing?"

"I wasn't referring to your past, Sev," said Rosie coyly.

Severus smirked at her and arched an eyebrow suggestively. "I see."

Rosie leant back on the sofa. "I wonder what would have happened to us if you hadn't advertised," said Rosie thoughtfully.

"Or if your original bedsit _hadn't_ been rented out by the Landlord from Hell," continued Severus.

"I don't suppose that there is any point thinking about that," said Rosie, apparently not hearing Severus. "I did meet you, and I do love you."

"I don't want to imagine how depressing my life would have been, if you weren't here. All I need to know is that you are going to be here, with me, for the foreseeable future. That, Rosie, will leave me contented."

Rosie looked at him with a sort of half-smile on her face. She looked as though she couldn't believe what he had just said.

"What?" he asked defensively, not liking the way that she was looking at him; he was starting to feel unnerved by her gaze.

"That – thank you for saying that," she replied, leaning up and kissing him gently on the lips. "You made me feel incredibly appreciated."

Severus nodded slightly. "It was a pleasure, then."

"My God!" cried Rosie, laughing loudly. "Two whole romantic comments in one day!" She cupped his face in her hands. "What has happened to you, my lover?" She smiled broadly.

"If this is the response I'm going to get every time I am at all affectionate to you, then I won't even bother," he said haughtily. He bent down to pick up his underwear. Rosie arched a brow at him. "What?" he said. "I'm cold!"

He groped for his wand and found that it had rolled under the sofa; he muttered a charm that restored both their clothing.

"Trust you to act like nothing had happened!" Rosie said, admiring the way that he just got up and started tidying whereas Rosie would just be lying around waiting to make love again.

"Mmm," he muttered and kissed her again.

A short while later Severus declared, "I have something to say." He stood up in front of her on the sofa. His hands were behind his back and he looked like he was going to do some business.

Rosie sat up, "Oh yes?"

"I – well, I know that we've hit a lot of problems recently-"

"The path of true love never runs smooth," Rosie interrupted thoughtfully.

"Yes," said Severus, looking slightly confused and distracted. "I just wanted to say that – I feel-" Rosie straightened up a little. Severus had actually started off a conversation about his own emotions. Rosie, as usual with her intuitive understanding of Severus, knew that he was going to say something important. "-that we will be sharing this house for some time." Rosie noted the dull flush creeping up his neck and realised how idiotic he must be feeling at this point during his speech.

"Yeah, I'd agree," Rosie replied quickly, trying her best to soothe him.

"So I think that it would be – appropriate – if you stopped paying rent."

Rosie's smile faltered for a moment, but only because she was surprised at his words. "Stopped paying rent?" she repeated. "But _why_ Mr Scrooge?"

He pursed his lips and looked sideways, shaking his head in a mock-anger way.

"Because I want this to be your house as well as mine. Our house."

"Our house – you mean that – are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Where did this idea come from?"

"I worked out that you'd actually be paying more if you split on the mortgage and the heating – makes sense," he said with a small smile.

"I hate you!"

"Oh, my heart would bleed if it wasn't made of stone!" he said clutching his hands to his chest dramatically.

"Shut up Severus." He grinned at her.

"What's your answer?" he asked, breaking their chain of argument.

"Yes!" said Rosie, giving him a wide smile. "So does this mean that we are living together?"

"Indeed it does," he said rubbing his neck again the way he always did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.

"What are we, Severus?"

"Geese?"

"Don't be so _stupid_!" He laughed at her indignation and grinned cheekily back at her.

"I thought you appreciated my humour," he said, still laughing. It always made Rosie smile when Severus actually did something as risqué as chuckling. His laugh was infectious and it always made her crack up as well; Rosie wondered why he didn't do it more.

"What did you mean anyway?" he asked.

"I just meant – what are we? Are you my boyfriend," he pulled a sickened face and Rosie said, "Okay, maybe not! Are we partners in crime then?"

He smiled at her, "Partners in crime," he said holding out his hand for her to shake. She took and held his hand briefly.

"What's for dinner darling?" Rosie teased suddenly, realising that she was starving.

"Is that a hint _dearest_?" he mocked. "I hadn't really thought. Chicken with – I'll have a look in the pantry." He moved towards the door.

"The pantry?" repeated Rosie, frowning in a humorous way. "Since when did we have anything as up-market as a pantry?"

"Oh – didn't you notice?" asked Severus, looking at her ironically. "I decided to a little bit of 'home improvement' the other day. It's our new 'contemporary feature'."

"I am not even going to reply to that, Severus," said Rosie, unable to coneal her grin. "The idea of you with a hammer and a bag of nails is just far too amusing!" She smiled and then looked at him expectantly. "Go on then, maestro," she added, "whip us up a dish!"

"You _are_ one," he said in his most sickly-sweet voice. Rosie slapped him on the thigh and he retreated to the sanctuary of the kitchen.

Rosie sat for a while wondering how she could occupy herself for half and hour or so. After a short while she decided that she would write yet another letter to Alina to tell her how it was all going and how everything had improved.

Dearest Alina,

How are you? I am feeling wonderful and it's all – well no, not entirely – down to you. I'm just writing to say thanks for all your advice and for letting me invade your house for a while. It meant a lot to me, and, as you can probably see, it helped a great deal.

You'll be pleased to hear that Severus and I are happy – finally – and are enjoying a well deserved laid back view to our relationship.

I don't honestly know what I'm gabbling on about – I really just wanted to invite you over. Severus is going back to Hogwarts and you need to see the new homestead. Let me know when you're free and you can come over.

See you soon,

Love

Rosie

Rosie sent off her owl with the message a few minutes after she had written the note. After a long twenty-minute wait, she and Severus finally sat down to their meal of chicken, rice and ratatouille.

"Tastes good," she said through a mouthful of rice.

"Where did you learn habits like that?" he asked, his lip curling in distaste.

"My parents, wonderful beings. Where did you learn yours?"

"The smarmy-git's guide to etiquette."

"You are joking?" He stared at her in a way that plainly told her that she was stupid.

"Yes," he said with a sigh. "But it certainly wasn't from _my_ parents – if it was mother I wouldn't have bothered to salt the water and if it was Maximus then the bowl would have gone flying."

Rosie couldn't help but smile but then said, "Don't you ever miss your father? Your family?"

"No. Not really."

"Not at all? But they're your family!"

"I try to forget that," he said dryly.

"But surely-"

"But nothing, Rosie. They mean nothing to me! I don't want to know! I don't care!"

"So you're telling me that your life has been better without them?"

"I would."

"Don't be stupid!"

"How is that ridiculous? I was bullied and beaten when I knew dear old Maximus and I became a Death Eater whilst I was in my teens living with my parents. I met you afterwards."

Rosie didn't look convinced and ploughed on, "Severus listen to me. Whatever you may think of your father and – did you say you had a sister?" He nodded. "Yes, well. Whatever you may think of them they are your family and they're the only lot that you're going to get. Whatever they did can be forgiven."

"It can NOT!" he roared and stood up suddenly, his eyes wild. He looked slightly deranged. He looked as though he would dearly love to pick up his plate and throw it at the wall. Rosie's blood pumped slightly faster; she had never seen him like this. To her horror he did not calm down but continued to shout. "Don't talk to me about what you don't understand!"

"Then let me!" cried Rosie, leaping on his choice of words. "Tell me!"

"I've told you already, for God's sake!" he shouted. Rosie jumped.

"Severus, calm down!"

He stopped and stared at her, breathing deeply, his fist clenched on the tabletop.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"That's ok," said Rosie and she moved round the table next to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's not!" he said, his voice slightly raised. "It's not 'all right' but I can't help it! My father brings out the very worst in me. He is the murderous part of me. The bit that I most loathe."

Something clicked into place, something that Rosie had tried to work out since they had discussed Severus' facial features. "So your hatred of yourself is-"

"My father in me," finished Severus, "yes."

"I know that it's hard for you but – but don't you think that it would help you to move on if you met him again?"

"You believe in all that 'achieving closure' nonsense? It won't work!"

"I still think that it's a shame to just let your family walk by like that," Rosie realised that Severus wasn't going to agree with her so she thought that it might be time to leave the subject. "All right, don't then. It doesn't really bother me, I'd just like to know where you came from that's all."

He smiled at her. "I know," he said nuzzling into her hair. "I understand but you just have to accept that my father is my past – and that that is where he is staying. I don't want him to be a part of my present – he ruined every part of my life that he was in, _we're_ not being ruined."

"He wouldn't be able to do that, Sev," Rosie argued quietly.

He didn't respond, he merely kissed her on the forehead. "We have one more day together before I am packed off to the mad house again. Is there anything that you would like to do?"

"Yes," said Rosie. "I know exactly what we can do tomorrow," he raised and eyebrow and smirked. "No, not that. We can do that any day! I was thinking of going to the V and A."

A broad grin spread across his face, he kissed her squarely on the lips and then said in his best sardonic voice, though he was still smiling, "That sounds adequate – I suppose."

_A/N: You may remember (or not, I suppose!) that Severus and Rosie were supposed to go to the Gothic Exhibition – but Rosie forgot, went to London with Remus and pissed off Severus, (Well done, Rosie!) so I thought that it would be appropriate for them to go on that 'first date' now. What a typically Rosie way of doing things!_

_Author's comments:_

_Thanks to everyone who reads…_

_**An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: **Ah, I couldn't tell you what is going to happen! ;-D They want to remain together, but there are sadly those who, quite frankly, don't. And you will be introduced to those characters shortly! Thanks for sticking with the story!_

_**ButterflyOfLothlorien: **I'm on a roll…that's two updates in a week! What is going on! Yes, you're quite right – Severus and Rosie need each other very much. I'm sure I can find a way to make them stay together… Thanks for reviewing!_

_**Lilegyptiangoddess: **Cheers! Small problem with MSN…it doesn't like the address I've set up. I don't understand computers. Whoever said they are logical should be shot. Anyway, once the problem is sorted I will add you properly…I think I did add you before but that address is officially redundant. Speak soon!_

_**Snip-snippet: **(Another Author Alert for you…) Ah, wish-fulfilment…I wish I had a boyfriend that said that, too! Lol. Glad you liked the chapter, and I hope this one was to your taste as well. Alina is all right – there is more about her to come; never fear! Thanks, snip-snippet!_


	20. London

**Chapter 20: London**

The next day Rosie and Severus went off together to the Gothic Exhibition. Severus surprised Rosie with his knowledge of the London Underground, although he was slightly alarmed by the automatic doors. He seemed to know London well; he told her all his favourite places, like Covent Garden and Soho – though apparently he wasn't too fond of the nightlife that accumulated there.

The exhibition itself was amazing. Rosie had never seen such a display of exquisite artefacts. There were stained glass windows, armour and swords, to name just a few. There were also many illuminated manuscripts which greatly fascinated Severus; he was amazed at the intricacy of them, the delicate beauty of them – Rosie suspected that the perfection of the manuscripts was not unlike the exactness Severus expected in his potions.

There was also the most beautifully crafted crown that Rosie had ever seen. It was Gothic in style, and was bedecked with many fine jewels and gleaming precious stones. Rosie was entranced by it; she stood, as though mesmerised, at the object whilst Severus wandered around the rest of the room, throwing her impatient glances as he did so.

Rosie had been standing, gazing at it for a good ten minutes, when Severus came to stand behind her.

"Would you like me to buy it?" he asked, resting his head on her shoulder and bringing his arms around her waist. Rosie lent back into his embrace and smiled.

"I don't think it's for sale," she said. "You could always steal it."

"Not really my style," he said, releasing her from his grasp and standing to the side of her, his nose inches away from the glass.

"Oh?" Rosie asked. "And what is your style?"

He looked her with a mischievous glint in his eye. "I'm sure there's a post card in the shop."

Rosie laughed at him and then took him by the hand and led him into the next part of the gallery. "Oh, now you want venture into the remainder of the exhibition!" he exclaimed sarcastically. Rosie ignored him.

It was amazing, Rosie thought to herself as Severus intertwined his fingers with hers, that only a few weeks ago Severus would never have even considered holding hands. He certainly would never have shown such obvious love for her when they first met.

Rosie was inclined to brush away her immediate thought that she had brought this to Severus, but then, after a moment's consideration, she thought that she had, really. If it had been down to Severus they would probably never have got together. She snorted quietly, without realising what she had done and thought, 'I'd never have guessed how – shy you were.'

And now that she thought about it, he was, in his own way, though he wasn't exactly the atypical 'shy' person. He was hardly modest, and he was very rarely considerate to other people. Severus' manner was seen by many as brusque and curt – and his behaviour often bordered on arrogant. But Rosie also knew that Severus would be the first to put himself down. If he made any error he would continuously mull over every single consequence. Whilst being a man who was not afraid to speak his mind, he was also a man who was deeply fearful of being made fun of, of being laughed at. To Severus, being the centre of attention meant the possible fate of being ridiculed. Rosie realised that this was a form of torture to him – a feeling exacerbated by his constant memories of James Potter and Sirius Black.

Rosie would have helped him to realise that his life was not as bad as he thought, and that his appearance (whatever he may have been told at school) was nothing to be ashamed about. Rosie would have told him that she thought that he was the most delicious man on the planet, but the truth was that she knew how he would react. He would be irritated and would refuse to believe her; he would snort derisively and tell her what he thought, which was the exact opposite. Rosie did believe that he was gorgeous but she just couldn't be bothered to tell him when she knew that it would be thrown back in her face. 

Rosie felt as though she had been hit by a tonne of bricks. Something that Minerva had said to her suddenly appeared in her mind:

"He won't tell you what he thinks may be thrown back in his face."

At the time Rosie had wondered what Minerva had meant; she had realised of course that Minerva had meant Severus but Rosie hadn't been able to work out what she was getting at. Then, more recently, the thought had been pushed from her mind, what with all the troubles that they had had. Now she realised, Minerva meant that she should make the first move – so to speak. She meant that Severus was a reserved man. Of course Rosie realised this by now, but to understand that Minerva knew it too emphasised the fact to Rosie that Severus had lived his life for too long in his current gloomy state.

Rosie suddenly made a promise to herself that she would help Severus to get his life back. She had been the start of that, she knew that, but now she decided that it was up to her to help Severus to love himself and to move on from his past.

Even if that meant reintroducing it. 'Severus' father can't be that bad can he?' Rosie asked herself. She convinced herself that he couldn't be and decided to send a letter to Maximus Snape tomorrow after Severus had gone back to Hogwarts. There was a lot of unfinished business for them to sort out, and Rosie was curious to know what sort of a man had hurt Severus so badly.

The next day inevitably proceeded the one before it and it was with a sorry heart that Severus Snape woke up to find that it was the first day of his term at Hogwarts. He had hoped that he had imagined that the school term was about to begin but unfortunately it wasn't a dream; he had to go back.

It was quite unusual for Severus to dread his return to Hogwarts. Of course, when he had been a student it had been a different matter; he never knew which he dreaded most: going back to school after two months of ferocious beating and drunken violence or three terms of bullies, unpopularity and loneliness.

However since Severus had become a teacher things had changed – ever so slightly. Instead of being bullied, he was the tormentor. The children hated him, he knew that, but he also realised with a deep satisfaction that they were too scared to tell him. There was no way that he could be overruled – people were too terrified to challenge him. This made life easier, even if it didn't make it any more pleasant.

And then there were people who he would almost class as friends; Minerva McGonangall was one of the few people that he actually enjoyed arguing with. She was witty and clever and even Severus would grudgingly admit that he enjoyed her company. And then there was Dumbledore. He had always made Severus feel like a misbehaved child; he had a sort of magisterial power about him, and although Severus never felt as though he meant anything to the ageing Headmaster, he dearly loved him. He was the father figure that he had never had and he was the complete opposite of his own failed father; Dumbledore was clever, patient, caring and, above all, dependable. He never seemed lost and nothing ever fazed him. On the rare occasion that Severus went to Dumbledore for advice, Dumbledore would always know how to help him. Severus felt his presence like a beacon: always and encouragingly there.

Maximus was the complete reverse of anything that Severus could have hoped for in a father. He was aggressive, dismissive, impatient, racist and he loathed his only son with a bitterness that Severus could never hope to equal. Whenever Severus dared to think back to his childhood all he could remember was a terrifying overlord who ruined his life. That was how he saw him – that was how he was.

Severus got up and went into the bathroom. He had a shower and shave and he even put on some of the aftershave that Rosie had bought him for Christmas, even Severus had to admit that it smelled pretty damn good.

Severus looked at himself in the mirror for a moment or two. He could see his face clearly in the glass and he could also see his torso. Severus felt different; he could suddenly see a side of him that he hadn't seen before. For once in his life he wasn't repulsed by his image. He wasn't handsome, but then he had never thought so. Though now as he studied himself he saw a few things on his face that he would have classed as acceptable.

Realising what he had just done, he looked up at the heavens. "Merlin help me, I'm becoming vain!"

Severus looked at his body and noticed that it was definitely fatter than it had been. It was an improvement. Most people complained at the thought of an extra layer of insulation but Severus felt that it made him look more adult. He'd always thought that his face made him look fifty but his figure made him feel sixteen. He'd always been slightly plant-like, as though he had been kept in the dark for too long, and having a fatter body made him feel broader, stronger and more confident. There was a certain swagger in his step as he walked out of the bathroom and into Rosie's old room that they were using as a dressing room.

He threw on a dark shirt and some black trousers. He pulled out his favourite pair of black boots and put them on; he had been very fond of them ever since Rosie had complimented him on his choice of footwear. Looking around he saw his suitcase and other belongings standing neatly in the corner. Severus sighed and mentally calculated the time that he would be away from Rosie – it was far too long for his liking.

Severus picked up his case and his bags and began to take them downstairs and into the hall. He then went into the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast for himself and Rosie. He opened the door and stopped dead; the kitchen table was already laid and decked with bowls, cutlery and food. Rosie was standing on the opposite side of the table grinning at him.

"When did you do this?"

"Just now while you were putting your face on," she said brightly. He scowled at her and sat down.

He grabbed a slice of toast and poured himself an orange juice while Rosie began to eat her usual piece of fruit. "Thanks Rose," he said biting into the toast.

"That's all right." She sat down and then added, "You're the only one who would get away with calling me Rose, you know."

"You're the only one who gets away with calling me Sev." He grimaced.

"How about Sevy?" she asked.

"No," came the reply.

"Sevy-kins?" 

"Definitely not," he muttered.

"I'm going to miss you," she said. Severus appeared not to hear her and he said,

"Is there something wrong with this bread? It's tastes peculiar."

"Oh," said Rosie smiling, "yeah, I – don't look on the other side."

He immediately turned it over and saw the blackened underside. "You burnt it," he stated sardonically.

"Well, yes."

"I said that you were a bad cook and oh, how I was right!"

"Don't you get above yourself – at least I made the effort!"

"I've already thanked you," he said and took another bite.

Rosie shrugged and they ate the rest of the breakfast in silence. Once Severus had finished eating he got to his feet and started making sure that he had not forgotten to pack anything. Rosie waited for him to finish and sipped her tea quietly. After ten or so minutes Severus marched back into the kitchen and slumped down into one of the chairs. Rosie got up and walked around behind him and put her hands on his shoulders.

"If I'm this tired and stressed before I get back to Hogwarts I don't know what I'm going to be like after a term!"

"Probably a nightmare," Rosie said kissing him on the cheek. She moved round and made to sit down on Severus' lap. He took the hint and moved his chair backwards to make it easier for her to sit down.

Once she was happily seated on him she wound her arms round his neck and smiled.

"As I said earlier, I will miss you."

She moved her head forward and rested her forehead on his, the tip of her nose rubbing his.

"Don't make this harder Rosie."

"In what way?"

"For once," he said, frowning slightly, "I don't want to go back. I just want to be here with you!"

"Then it'll make it all the better when you come home at Easter. Don't you get weekends off ever?" she asked.

He shook his head slightly and captured her lips with his in a lingering kiss. He pulled back from her and said,

"What time is it?"

"It's about seven thirty I think," Rosie replied.

"We've got a while," he murmured, kissing her again.

It was a very sad moment when Rosie and Severus finally parted. Rosie came to the station platform with him, (he had been ordered to return by train for this term as he was supposed to be keeping a check on the students in case of any sudden dilemma) luckily there weren't any pupils lingering around – most had stayed at school for the holidays for fear of being assassinated by Voldemort.

Rosie was just expecting to say goodbye to him; she wasn't expecting what he actually did. He gave her a warm hug, squeezing her tightly to him as though he was hoping that she would go with him this way, and as he left he gave her a swift kiss on the lips. Rosie grinned like it was their first kiss; he had never kissed her before in public. Rosie was almost tempted to believe that he was making up for last time. She waved him goodbye, but this time there were no tears; she knew that he was hers and that she would see or hear from him soon.

Rosie made her way back to the empty house slowly but happily. She was pleased with the definite contented turn that her life had taken. She was with Severus, she was healthy, and she was safe. Rosie smiled and let herself back into the house.

Now all there was to do was to think of a way to phrase a letter to Maximus Snape.

_A/N: I most humbly apologise to those people who have been waiting patiently for an update of this story. It's incredibly selfish of my, I know, and I feel terrible, but my only excuse is that I am very busy revising for upcoming exams. I think I'm going to fail, and I've really had to pull out all the stops to learn some key things that I missed. Anyway, I do appreciate those of you who have stuck with this story, and as a treat (;-D) I am uploading two chapters tonight! Thanks for being patient!_

_Author's comments:_

_Thanks to everyone who reads…_

_**An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin: **I should hope that it wasn't literally, I would hate to be a fire hazard. Oh, yes, nudge, nudge wink, wink 'nothing' will go wrong. Never fear, disasters are never far around the corner, and I have a feeling that something is a-brewing on the disaster front. (What am I saying, I have a feeling? I wrote the damn thing!)_

_**Tab sempai: **Lol! As strange as it may seem, the pets are not an integral part of the story; rest assured, the cats are fine, but are not booked to make an appearance in the story any time soon. They have appeared in several versions of chapters that I have produced, but they've always been cut, sadly. They don't seem to mind, though – they were on contract, so they still get lots of tins of Go Cat and a scratch behind their ears every evening!_

_**Snip-snippet: **Taken a bit longer to update, huge apologies! Don't worry about complaining…I had noticed that when I re read the chapter on another site. I would have changed it, but as the story is submitted on another site, and I couldn't be bothered to change that as well, I just left it… Thanks for having your eye on the ball, though – I appreciate it!_


	21. Mr Snape

**Chapter 21: Mr Snape**

It was actually quite a time before Rosie finally managed to send her letter to Maximus Snape. A sudden discovery of a past affair that some decrepit Minister had had some years previous, meant that Rosie's job in the Ministry Press Office was taken up by covering all the stories that went out of the building, and making sure that no Ministry members were caught passing indecent information. It wasn't a job that Rosie particularly relished; the whole environment of the Ministry was dull – at least where she worked it was. Her job was taken up by monitoring the press and checking what was going on. It didn't help that she loathed the current government, and had to keep a professional persona about her. The only thing that made her more faithful to her employers, was the fact that her position within the Order meant that she was continually looking for signs that workers had been duped by Voldemort.

It was after a few weeks of careful research and monitoring within the Ministry that Rosie finally found the time to sit at her kitchen table and pen a letter to Maximus. She had also arranged for her friend Alina to come and visit her in a few days time. Rosie was looking forward to the meeting; she hadn't seen Alina in what seemed like an age and she was keen for her friend to see the house.

As Rosie finished her breakfast she reached across the table and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill pen. She sat with the pen hovering above the parchment wondering how on Earth she should begin her letter. She didn't know what Maximus Snape was like at all. Severus clearly loathed him so Rosie thought that maybe a formal letter would be appropriate.

She dipped the quill in the ink and began to write.

_Dear Mr. Snape,_

My name is Rosie Watermouth, and I am your son Severus' partner. We have been living together for a few months now and I am curious to meet his father. I would be very much obliged if you would accept an invite to our house next week. I am fairly free that week so if you could let me know when you could pay me a visit I would be grateful. Severus will not be around for the coming term as he is a teacher at Hogwarts.

I hope that you are well and look forward to seeing you soon,

Yours truly,

Rosie Watermouth.  
  
Rosie lent back in her seat and absently scratched herself on the chin with the end of her quill. The letter seemed adequate; it wasn't rude or demanding. She couldn't see how Maximus could possibly be offended by what she had written. This analysis made she sent the letter off with a post office owl (Severus' bird had gone with him to Hogwarts). Now all Rosie had to do was to wait for a reply.

Two days later Rosie received an owl back. It was, Rosie assumed, from Mr. Snape. The writing was unfamiliar and the owl was the same one that she had used. Rosie unfolded the parchment and read his letter.

_Dear Ms. Watermouth,_

I must say that I am very curious to know what woman has put up with Severus for many months. I am interested to meet you. I assume that Severus has informed you of our past history – maybe you wondered why we hadn't spoken for almost twenty years? I cannot say that I particularly desire to be reacquainted with him but I am certainly desirous to meet you.

I am afraid that I am busy the next week and will not be able to come to your house. However this week will suffice. I can come on Thursday at ten am.

I look forward to our meeting,

Yours truly,

Maximus Snape.  
  
Well, thought Rosie, if her letter wasn't demanding his certainly was. She thought for a while; Alina was arriving at twelve on the Thursday. However, Maximus wanted to come at ten in the morning, if all went well he would be gone by the time Alina arrived – and he couldn't hold it against her if she had a social life. Rosie didn't really want to tell him that she couldn't make this week, she just had a feeling that he would not be particularly impressed, so Rosie replied to his letter informing him that he could come on that day and also telling him that she had a friend coming round later that afternoon. She hoped that Maximus would find this acceptable. Now all she had to do, with some trepidation, was to wait for Mr. Snape to arrive.

On Thursday morning Rosie was prepared. She had cleaned the house from top to bottom, had got everything in the kitchen organised so that she didn't look like a fool trying vainly to search for the teabags and she had shut the cats out in the garden.

Rosie had also decided to write to Severus to let her know what was going on with respects to Maximus. She reread the letter quickly before sending it with an owl to Severus. It read:

_Dear Severus,_

How is the school term going? Thankfully, the end is in sight, only a few more weeks to go! I am missing you, the house is slightly untidy and I can't be bothered to clean the bathroom – come home this instant! Although I am dearly in need of a certain Severus Snape I am making myself acquainted with other infamous Snapes – namely one Maximus.

I have invited him round to our house this Thursday. I thought that I had better tell you so that you knew what was going on. Alina's also popping round afterwards – don't worry, it will all be fine!

Hope you are having a jolly old time,

Love you far too much,

Rosie

Xxx

Rosie now had to wait an hour for the dreaded ten o'clock.

At half past eleven there was a knock at the door. About time too, Rosie thought; he was over an hour late! Rosie got to her feet and made her way out into the hallway. She could see a figure silhouetted against the glass. She knew that it must be Maximus (though she had never even seen him before); she recognised the hooked nose.

Rosie put her hand on the handle and wrenched open the door coming face to face with Maximus.

He was a tall man, taller than Severus and broader, though there was a definite family resemblance. Maximus had a haughty expression and he was looking at Rosie down his hooked nose. He had piercing eyes and brown hair, though it was still very dark. The one difference – apart from his build – to Severus was that he had thick, wavy brown hair. It was long, coming down to below his ears. The waviness of it was tamed down somewhat so that it looked very neat. Maximus was a handsome man, Rosie decided. More conventionally good looking that her own beloved Severus, but not quite as appealing somehow.

"Hello," Rosie said holding out her hand for him to shake. "I'm Rosie. You must be Maximus? Do come in."

He shook her hand briefly and nodded, bending his head slightly as he walked through the door. "Good morning," he said to her. His voice was of a similar pitch to Severus' though he voice was harsher, more grating and definitely less silky. "Where do I hang my cloak?" he asked, holding out his black travelling cloak to Rosie.

She smiled and hung it up on one of the pegs. "Right," she said. "Come into the kitchen. I put on some tea for us. You do drink tea?"

"Yes. White, no sugar."

He followed her into the kitchen and seated himself at the head of the table. Rosie smiled inwardly and set about making the tea. After she had made two mugs she sat down near to him and shunted the cup towards him.

"Thank you," he said taking a sip from it. 

There was a moment of silence and then Maximus asked, "Why did you want me here?"

"I wanted to meet you," Rosie replied. "I don't really know very much about you. Severus doesn't talk about his past to me in that great a detail. I wanted to know what you were like."

"I see," he said taking another sip from his cup. "And what do you think of me?"

"I don't know you at all," said Rosie, shrugging.

"First impressions," he persisted. "What do you think of me?"

"Er," said Rosie, she thought that he was being a bit demanding. "As I said I don't really know you. You seem all right."

He sneered. "Indeed."

"What about me?"

"I confess that I know nothing about you either," he replied.

"Yes but first-" Rosie began to tease but was cut off by Maximus. He was looking over at the kitchen counter, apparently eyeing up the bottle of wine on the worktop.

He got to his feet and moved towards it. Rosie watched his movements. He was nothing like Severus, whose jerky walk was somehow elegant; Maximus on the other hand was a confident walker. His presence was not like Severus', which was just that – a presence. Maximus' was an overpowering one, he demanded to be noticed; he positively oozed arrogance. He picked up the bottle and examined it closely.

"Red wine," he said. "I didn't know that my son _approved_ of drinking." 

Rosie realised that he was referring to Severus' hatred of his father's drunkenness. She didn't know how to reply and so kept her mouth shut. He shook the bottle and Rosie felt that she had to say,

"It's empty I'm afraid. We drank it the other night."

He said nothing and set the bottle down again. Rosie got up as well and moved round table to stand near the counter facing Maximus. "So, as I was saying," she said, feeling that it would be best to steer the conversation away from anything controversial, "what do you think of me? First impressions?"

"You seem cheerful enough, though I will have to say again that I know nothing of you. I could not find your name on any list that I checked."

Rosie was baffled. "On any list? What list?"

"On any list of Wizarding families. Your name – Watermouth was it? – was not there."

"What kind of list did you look on?" asked Rosie.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, we're not really a Wizarding family. If you checked purebloods only then I doubt that we would be on there."

"I beg your pardon?" he asked; his eyes were slightly wider than they had been and Rosie noticed with some trepidation that he seemed angry. Maybe Severus had been right.

"Well, we're not a Wizarding _family_. I am a witch of course but my parents were Muggles. I'm Muggle born." Rosie realised that Maximus seemed even more outraged and was slightly off put by it. She also noticed a stray used teabag on the counter. She picked it up and turned round to put it in the bin – wanting any excuse not to look into that angry face.

"Don't turn away from me!" he cried and Rosie turned around with a sudden fear; Maximus looked beyond livid. "You are no witch! You do not deserve the luxury of being involved with our world!"

Rosie backed away, feeling that any objection that she voiced towards his previous comment would not be wise. 

"Are you going to answer me?"

There was no question, Rosie thought desperately. She eyed the glass bottle that Maximus was still holding and swallowed nervously. "Mr Snape – just – it doesn't matter – please, just put the bottle down, will you?" She didn't know what she was saying; all she knew was that she didn't want him in her house anymore.

Maximus took a predatory step towards her. "Excuse me? Ordering me about in some high-and-mighty fashion-"

"I didn't mean to – I can see you're not happy about me being-"

"Do not interrupt me," he hissed dangerously, laying the bottle on the tabletop.

Maximus seemed incredibly angry, but at that moment something inside Rosie snapped. How dare he come in here and insult her like this, terrify her like this? He had no right to. "Do not patronise me!" she shrieked, not entirely sure why she had reacted the way she just had. "I'm not going to – to take any rubbish from you!" she bellowed though she could feel her hands shaking and her legs turning to jelly. "Just because I'm not from some racist pureblood hierarchy does not give me any less right to be in love with your son!"

"Insolent bitch," he shouted and lunged for her.

"Get off me!" she cried, trying to break out of his firm grip. They struggled, Rosie desperately trying to get him off her. She wasn't aware of having her eyes open, of seeing anything, all she knew was that she needed to break free from him. What happened next, she didn't care too much about, she just had to get away.

Rosie ripped herself from his grasp, but Maximus once again lunged and knocked her to the floor. Rosie screamed, but Maximus was soon grappling her to the floor. Oh, good God, Rosie mentally screamed. What the hell is going to happen to me?

But then, someone echoed the words that she had just thought, "What the hell-" she heard a small female voice saying, "What the – get off her!" There was a flash of light and Maximus hurtled back off Rosie, smashing into the kitchen table. "GET UP!" the voice screamed, and Rosie saw that Alina was standing in her doorway, wand in her hand, looking horrified at the situation she had found her friend in.

"Who do you think you are?" Maximus bellowed.

Oh God, thank the Lord that you were coming round Alina!

"Someone a lot more intelligent than you," bellowed Alina. "I certainly wouldn't still be here when an Auror had their wand pointed in my face! Get out of the house!" Maximus paled dramatically and rushed towards the door, however suddenly he wrenched Rosie from the floor and held her towards him. Rosie whimpered but Alina shouted, "Leave her, you bastard. Leave!" 

"Insolent bitch!" he hissed before throwing her back against the kitchen cabinets. She smacked her head as she fell and gave up on her consciousness. Rosie's world dimmed around her. 

"Rosie?" called a voice. "Rosie?" She opened her eyes and blinked. Rosie was lying on her sofa in the front room, a blanket covering her and a mug of hot chocolate on the floor beside her. Alina's face was hovering above her own, looking down at her with the deepest of concern in her eyes.

"He went – I'm sorry," she added, "I let him go. I could've stopped him but – you seemed more important." Rosie half-smiled. "I thought that you must have known him, though."

"How?"

Alina tapped her flat nose knowingly, referring to her Auror training. "He was in your kitchen – you let him in. Besides, he looks like Severus. He's his father, isn't he?"

Rosie sobbed and Alina looked somewhat tense. "You're bloody well right, as usual!" Rosie wailed. "His name's Maximus Snape. Severus told me not to find him, he warned me that he was a nasty piece of work – but I didn't listen, I wanted him to have a family."

"I'm sorry, Rosie, I don't really know what you're talking about!" Alina confessed lightly.

"I just," she sat up slightly and the world spun ever so slightly, she steadied herself and continued. "Oh my God," Rosie moaned and closed her eyes. She felt Alina grab hold of her arms and shoulders to steady her and she sank back onto the pillows.

"You okay?" Alina asked.

"Fine," Rosie said dismissively. She sighed and said slowly, "Severus said that he hadn't spoken to his father in a while, so I thought that it would be – I don't know," Rosie blushed, feeling immensely stupid. "I thought that I could build a bridge between them." Rosie laughed bitterly. "What a complete fucking fool I've been." Alina seemed shocked, and knew that Rosie was deeply traumatised. It wasn't in her nature to be self-deprecating and downcast unless something had really gone badly astray.

"Don't blame yourself. Severus should have damn well told you what he was like!"

"He did!" wailed Rosie. "For God's sake, Alina, don't blame him." And she seemed genuinely angry. "Don't you dare blame him – this was my doing." Her head began to pound furiously and she put a hand for her forehead in an attempt to numb the pain.

"Do you want him to be here?" asked Alina.

"Who?"

"Your darling Severus, of course," sneered Alina.

Rosie's head snapped up to look angrily at Alina. "What was that all about, eh?"

"Nothing," replied Alina quietly, looking as though she was fighting with herself about whether to speak her mind. Suddenly she spoke again. " It's – I'm just concerned for you, Rosie!" cried Alina, gesticulating with her hands. "Ever since you've been with him, there's been nothing but trouble!"

"Don't talk bollocks! You know that's not true! He's given me the most happiness I've had in years!"

"Stop fooling yourself, Rosie! Your perfect boyfriend was a murder – he killed lots and lots of people! Does that mean nothing? And then, wonderful boyfriend's father tries to – I don't know what he was about to do to you, when I came in!"

"Nothing, Alina, he was just trying to kill me!" cried Rosie with a kind of hysterical sarcasm, sitting up rigidly in her seat and glaring at Alina. "And may I remind you that it was _you_ who _encouraged_ me to go back – you acted like there was nothing wrong with him being a Death Eater!"

"Well, I wouldn't have personally dated-"

"Oh, but it's fine for me? What a great friend you are!" screamed Rosie, crying again.

Alina sighed, "I didn't mean that," she muttered softly. "You know I didn't. I think that you and Severus make a wonderful couple, I really do. I just don't like seeing you hurt – at all. He hurt you – Maximus, I mean. Look, do you even know why Severus left the Death Eaters yet?"

"Yes, I do," said Rosie, feeling incredibly miserable.

"And?"

"And it's got nothing to do with you," Rosie snapped. "I'm not going to tell you."

"I can tell from _that _answer that you don't know why you're still with him-"

"Because I'm in love with him, Alina." Alina stopped dead. "I've never _ever_ felt this way about someone before."

Alina looked stunned. "He means that much?"

"And more," Rosie nodded, putting her face in her hands and closing her eyes. Her headache was becoming unbearable. "It wasn't his fault. I don't know whether he even knows that Maximus was coming. I sent him a letter, but it might not have got there yet." She felt the pain in her head again and leant back onto the pillows that Alina had provided.

"How do I contact Severus?" Alina stood up.

"Use the Floo. He's at Hogwarts, Potions Office."

"I'll get him," mumbled Alina, moving towards the flames. "You try and rest. I've done some temporary warding – no one will be able to get in that you don't want in."

"Thanks," said Rosie as she drifted off to sleep again.

Severus stepped through the grate, followed a few minutes later by Alina, who had agreed to talk to Minerva about the situation whilst Severus tended to Rosie. Severus himself felt sick to the stomach. Rosie had been attacked whilst he had been away and he had not been able to help her. What a useless cretin he felt. His hands shook ever so slightly as he supported himself as he made his way out of the fireplace.

Rosie was on the sofa opposite the fire, apparently fast asleep. Severus regarded her for a few moments before he swept over to the other side of the room and sat next to her on the cushions. He looked down at her peaceful face and swept some hair back off it. Severus held back a gasp as he looked at the large bruise on the side of her face. It reminded him so much of the kind of marks that Maximus had inflicted on Edith. How he loathed to see Rosie in such a state. How he loathed the person who had done this to her.

Rosie stirred in her sleep and blinked, looking blearily up at him. Her mouth curved into a soft, gracious smile, which he found hard to return.

"You're here," she said quietly, her hand going and resting on his knee gently.

"I'm here," he affirmed. "What in God's name happened?"

At that moment Alina walked through the fireplace, looking at the couple on the sofa. She tried her best not to look too harshly on Severus, but it was clear that the horror at what had happened to Rosie meant that she was still slightly angry with Severus.

"Would you like a tea?" she asked Severus.

"Yes, thank you, I'll stay here," he said and Alina swept into the kitchen.

"What happened?" he asked again, more sternly this time.

"Oh, Severus," she said, stretching. "I don't want to talk about this now." She really didn't want to mention that Severus' father had attacked her; she knew that Severus would not be impressed with either of them.

"Well I do," he said. "What happened? Do not brush this off," he added almost dangerously.

"Nothing happened that I can't tell you when I've rested – when I've got rid of this damn headache."

"Headache? Since when have you had that?" he asked, sounding more and more like a disciplinarian teacher than her passionate, insecure lover.

"Will you stop being so serious, I'm fine."

"Rosie, will you please be sensible. Alina told me what happened," Rosie's stomach lurched. "I want to know who did this to you, but that can wait," Rosie silently sighed with relief. Thank God Alina had the intelligence to withhold _that_ little gem of information. "Were you hit around the head?"

"Yes," said Rosie. "But I-"

Severus stood up. "I think that we should go to St Mungo's."

"St Mungo's?" cried Rosie, sitting up sharply and wincing. "Why on Earth do I need to go there?"

"You might have concussion – I am not taking that risk with you. I want to see that you are all right."

"Will you _stop_ acting like an overbearing parent for one second? I am fine! Read my lips: I. Am. Fine!"

"Read _my_ fucking lips: You will be fine when the Healer's say that you are," replied Severus, using an uncharacteristic expletive and folding his arms, looking decidedly dark.

"Don't be so bloody patronising!" Rosie stood up and winced again. She hadn't realised how bruised she was. Looking down she saw the marks on her arms where Maximus had held on to her.

"For God's sake, Rosie! Stop being so foolish! I'm not being overbearing; I merely want the Healer's to check whether you are completely well or not! You might feel perfectly all right at the moment, but I want to _make sure_ that you are!"

"I _don't_ feel fine, Severus!" shouted Rosie. "I feel bloody awful, but I'm not about to discuss that with you, Alina or any under-qualified Healer! Do you hear me?"

"This is not topic for debate!" he shrieked. "I will not see you risk your health because of – what, exactly?"

"Nothing!"

"Rosie, I think that Severus is right," said Alina. She had just appeared in the doorway. "You really should get yourself checked out, if only just to make sure."

Severus gave Rosie a smug look, which infuriated Rosie no end. "Fine!" she cried dramatically. "Fine! We will go to the Healer's who will tell me to stop wasting their time! That is absolutely fine by me." Rosie made to walk stubbornly from the room but fell sideways as the pain in her head gave a large stab, which obscured her vision.

"I'm glad to hear that, Rosie," Severus muttered silkily into her ear as he caught her, "because it seems that your body is, indeed, totally fine, as well as your infinitely varied vocabulary." Alina walked out into the hall to wait for them, apparently trying to miss the argument between the pair of them.

"I don't know why you are behaving like this," intoned Severus as they made their way to St Mungo's, "but it is achieving nothing."

Oh, if only you knew, Severus, Rosie silently moaned.

_  
A/N : I enjoyed writing the chapter, but I'm always concerned as to how such plot lines are going to be received. Please, feel free to let me know!_


End file.
